Give me some dialogue from your day

[gbb]

And while we were out, the cars MOT was raised...
'When is it due ?'..asked the wife.
'Mid May I think'

Our daughter did a search...
'Hahaha, it expires Tuesday you wally'
'Bugger...Will (her husband and a garage mechanic)...can you take mine in this week ?'
'Yeah, no problem, Tuesday ok?'

'Hold on....I'm ringing Kev(my son)...Kev, hello mate, can I borrow your car Tuesday ?'
'Yeah no problem'

Job done. I said in another post...I'm a terrible organiser when looking forward. On the day, no problem, but planning....

 

[ColinJ]

[A recent conversation ...]

ColinJ: Chris Froome has had a stupid accident - he had two bikes that he wanted to clean at the back of his hotel so he rode one bike and towed the other one beside it. He got the bikes tangled up and fell off.

Pal: Yeah, well, Froome's bike handling is awful - he needs to learn how to ride properly!

ColinJ: Er, okay ...

[A conversation today ... The same pal was bringing a couple of bikes round here and couldn't be bothered to come round with them separately.]

(Knock at the door. I opened it.)

Pal: Have you got some tissues?

ColinJ: Yes - what do you need them for?

Pal: To mop up this (mangled hand, dripping blood) ... and this (battered head, dripping blood)!

ColinJ: Ah - you've done a Chris Froome!

Pal: Eh?

ColinJ: Never mind - come in!

 

[jhawk]

Driving home from Nova Scotia yesterday. Sign beside the highway reads, "DO NOT CROSS THE MEDIAN".

Dad, quick as a flash: "Otherwise they'll go into mean median mode!"

 

[fimm]

About once a week I swap my bike-train-bike commute for riding the full 16 miles each way. I get my lycra out for this, while for the usual commute I don't.
So this morning I walk into the office in my cycling gear:
New colleague: Have you cycled all the way from Edinburgh?
Me: Yes
Him: I was joking
Me: I'm not...

 

[ColinJ]

About once a week I swap my bike-train-bike commute for riding the full 16 miles each way. I get my lycra out for this, while for the usual commute I don't.
So this morning I walk into the office in my cycling gear:
New colleague: Have you cycled all the way from Edinburgh?
Me: Yes
Him: I was joking
Me: I'm not...

I had the opposite when I visited my mum in Coventry before she went into sheltered accommodation. She had regular care visits and a carer that I knew opened the door for me when I turned up on my bike and dressed in Lycra.

"Hi Colin, have you just cycled up from the railway station."

"No."

"I don't understand - you are wearing cycling clothes and you are on your bike. So how did you get here?"

"I rode my bike from my house to here."

"From Yorkshire?"

"Yes."

"Eh, how far is that!!!"

"About 140 miles."

Stunned silence ...

 

[gbb]

Myself and two other engineers are sitting in the canteen.
Some office folk come in with fish n chips...
Me....'Awww look, fish n chips '

some banter followed and one of the office girls said...
'couples get a better deal'
(i assume the chip shop does a deal for couples )
I said...
'No problem, i'll hold Daves hand as we go In there ' and fluttered my eyes at him.
Dave put on a worried look
Office guy spluttered and laughed.
Myself and other engineer guffawed.

 

[gbb]

Just deleted a post..I thought better of the subject matter and its maybe not appropriate for a cycling forum. Just In case anyone wonders where its gone.

 

[Maverick Goose]

Computer User - Not Technical: Am I able to do this. Do I have the right permissions to do it?
Me: Have you tried?
CU: No
Me: Well if you try and it doesn't work, come back to us.
CU: Can you just check?
Me: <no response>
10 minutes later with nothing changed:
CU: It's working now, thanks for your help.

RTFM.....

 

[postman]

'Your pee flow is pathetic.'

I kid you not,that is what the Doctor said to me this afternoon.I warmed to him straight away.Brilliant.

 

[threebikesmcginty]

My boy (looking at instructions) - I can't read this.

Me - is the print a bit small?

The boy - no, it's because it's written in German.

 

[gbb]

My boy (looking at instructions) - I can't read this.

Me - is the print a bit small?

The boy - no, it's because it's written in German.

 

[gbb]

We've been looking for some new bedroom carpet, spruce the room up a bit.
The usual fayre is around..thin carpet, cheap carpet, even the modest carpet would cost £160 ..ok, but nothing to get excited about. Them we saw one end of roll with a special offer sticker...
Me to assistant...
'Why is there so much off that one ?'
'Its not a stock item, it was a carpet cut for a customer that was an error or camcelled or something similar, so its just out to clear'
'I'll take it'

£320, reduced to £80, hessian type backing, 8 to 10mm pile, lovely and soft...5mtr x 4mtr, enough to do the bedroom, bathroom and a little toilet if i want.
Bargain .. 4 hours later, its fitted. Looks lovely down.

 

[Andy_R]

Physiotherapist:"Try to move your hand that way"
Me:"Gnh...that's as far is it'll go"
P:"And now the other way"
M:"Umphh..that's it"
P: "This is probably going to hurt"
M: "OWWWWW, that's my arm that is!"

Broke my wrist 7 weeks ago and just had the cast and pins removed last week. Imagine a twiglet and a lizard had a baby....that's my arm!

 

[gbb]

Some light hearted discussion about inbreeding, working in Chatteris, its never far away .
Colleague..(from Chatteris)
'Haha, we used to get a lot of stick from the opposing football teams when we were younger..footie banter, calling us inbreds n all that'
Other colleague (from Downham)
'Hahaha'
Me....
'Coming from Downham Dave, youve had a lucky escape.....or have you ....'

 

[BikeCurious]

Work colleague: "Can we even send it out without a strap on??"
Cue raucous laughter
In reference to a box leaving a warehouse without the securing straps in place.