Give me some dialogue from your day

[HarryTheDog]

At work today
work colleague, some bar steward from HR has bubbled me to the boss
me, what
work colleague, I got summoned to the boss and HR have found my CV on several websites, he wanted to know what I was up to, I explained I was not happy with the rush hour commute
me, so what did he say
work colleague, he offered me a pay rise and flexi hours
me, what were those websites again?

 

[marknotgeorge]

Mad Scientist (waving a pack of Toffifees under my nose): Take one, or I'll murder you in your sleep!

She comes out with some stuff, does that one...

 

[subaqua]

At work today
work colleague, some bar steward from HR has bubbled me to the boss
me, what
work colleague, I got summoned to the boss and HR have found my CV on several websites, he wanted to know what I was up to, I explained I was not happy with the rush hour commute
me, so what did he say
work colleague, he offered me a pay rise and flexi hours
me, what were those websites again?

Thats the oldest trick in the book . and has been used succesfully by me on several occasions

 

[gavgav]

Had an interview at work today for the Principal Analyst (Line Manager) job.

3:30 today
My Boss - "Well done this morning, after completing the interviews we would like to offer you the position. Will you accept?"

Me - "Absolutely!!"

Very nerve wracking day but worth it all in the end

 

[Rickshaw Phil]

Had an interview at work today for the Principal Analyst (Line Manager) job.

3:30 today
My Boss - "Well done this morning, after completing the interviews we would like to offer you the position. Will you accept?"

Me - "Absolutely!!"

Very nerve wracking day but worth it all in the end

 

[Profpointy]

Thats the oldest trick in the book . and has been used succesfully by me on several occasions

In the olden days we used to snip out random job adverts from computer weekly then leave the swiss-cheesed copy lying around. What wags we were

 

[Katherine]

Had an interview at work today for the Principal Analyst (Line Manager) job.

3:30 today
My Boss - "Well done this morning, after completing the interviews we would like to offer you the position. Will you accept?"

Me - "Absolutely!!"

Very nerve wracking day but worth it all in the end

Congratulations and well done !

 

[machew]

Computer User - Not Technical: Am I able to do this. Do I have the right permissions to do it?
Me: Have you tried?
CU: No
Me: Well if you try and it doesn't work, come back to us.
CU: Can you just check?
Me: <no response>
10 minutes later with nothing changed:
CU: It's working now, thanks for your help.

 

[perplexed]

I'm building an 'Insect Hotel' in the garden at the moment. Mrs. P surveys the pile of junk which will, I'm trying to convince her, will actually look quite cool when organised into the small pile of pallets.

Mrs. P: 'Are you sure this will look ok when you're done?'

Me: 'Yep, it'll come together nicely'

Mrs. P. 'We'll have to get it checked by the Hotel Insector...'

Me: 'That's terrible. Really terrible...'

 

[rvw]

[Phone rings. I pick up and talk to someone organising a course...]

Organiser: I need to order a sheep's chest. Can I just pay for that out of the course fee income?
Me: I'm sorry, I didn't quite catch what it is you want to order.
Organiser: A sheep's chest.
Me: ? what, as in...
Organiser: Yes, the chest of a sheep, an animal which runs round in fields going "baa".

 

[redvision95]

Police officer : Holy carp theres a hole in your engine.
Me : Yep.
Police officer : I've never seen that before.
Me : Volkswagen life mate.

 

[gbb]

One of the guys at work is a petrolhead. He owns a BMW MSport, a few years old. It has given him some trouble, as did his last similar BMW. He drives it hard, given the chance.
Colleague to Beemer owner...
'Hows your car by the way ?'
'Giving trouble again, off the road at the mo'
'...AGAIN ?'...laughed my other two colleagues 'You need a normal car'
'Noooo, I need a car that will do the job'

At this point I interfected..
'yebbut, yours doesnt does it '

Instant eruption of laughter from everyone, beemer owner as well.

 

[NorthernDave]

Stop pushing, it won't go in.
No, it isn't going to fit - it's the wrong shape isn't it?
For goodness sake it isn't going to go in there is it? Stop trying to force it in!
I said don't force it!
Look, you ruined it now haven't you, it's all out of shape - I warned you but you wouldn't listen.

The perils of trying to find a charger for an old mobile phone...

 

[gbb]

'Can we go on holiday with you one day ?'
'Next year hopefully babes'

Grandaughters 10, 6 and 3...10 y.o. Hollie was looking at pictures of places we've been and was inspired....
'whoa, that looks cooool'
'would you like to go to a place like that ?'
'oh yeahhh'

Next year then...maybe, probably, can't wait...we'll even pay for one of them.

 

[gbb]

Having been for a ride this morning, the bike was left temporarily in the garden. I was planning to maybe give it a clean but after dinner we decided to go out...maybe I'll do the bike later then, so I leant it against the kitchen cupboards just before we went out.
'You bloomin bike is always in the way'...my wife uttered as she was getting ready
'The bike is fine...why do you always want to go wherever ive put it ?'
Getting mildly ticked off, she said....
'I need to get in a cupboard '
'Well go to a different cupboard then '


This was unsurprisingly, not recieved very well

Im sure i heard the work 'dickhead' mentioned .
Some people call it tombstone juggling....or dicing with death