Give me some dialogue from your day

[fimm]

I knew someone who had been a social worker in Bradford and worked with a lot of teenage single mums. She was shocked when she discovered that most of them had never been to the countryside despite living less than an hour's walk from some glorious Yorkshire countryside. She started organising coach trips for them on which they saw their first 'real life' sheep, cows and horses, having only previously seen them on TV.

One such trip was to Scarborough and it was the first time that any of them had been to the coast ... how sad is that!

Many years ago, I worked with someone who'd been on some charity-jaunt-thing to Mexico. On his return, he reported a conversation along these lines:

Worker at children's charity: ...and so many of these children have never been out of the city - they're never even seen a volcano...
Visitor: I've never seen a volcano
Worker: Ah. We should take you to see one.
So they did.

 

[fimm]

Friend on Facebook "Am I the only person out there who didn't know who David Bowie was?"
Everyone else "Yes..."

 

[Joshua Plumtree]

Went to the PO this morning to post a wheel set I'd sold on eBay.

Put the box on the scales and then, trying to be helpful, I heard myself saying to the young woman at the desk: " Would you like to take it behind?" To which she replied, "Oh yes please!"

Lots of bemused looks from people in the queue.

 

[Maverick Goose]

Friend on Facebook "Am I the only person out there who didn't know who David Bowie was?"
Everyone else "Yes..."

My mum didn't know!

 

[gavgav]

One of the PA's at work (NHS Trust) came into the office chucking to herself this afternoon and looking rather red. She's a lovely lady but doesn't suffer fools gladly.

Me "what's tickled you"

Barbara "I've just been to the loo and the people in there were taking ages, so I told them to hurry up, I'm desperate. Toilet flushes, door opens and the Chief Executive walks out!"

Me

 

[Saluki]

This was last night while playing Trivial Persuit with my mate Wendy. A highly intellegent woman, departmental manager who get's sent to troubleshoot all over the globe for the company she works for.

Wen: Oh, a six. (moves wheel around board) I'll have a brown question please.
Me: What literary monster reads Paradise Lost and can speak fluent French?
Wen: Monster?
Me: Yes.
Wen: Monster who reads Milton in the original French?
Me: Milton wrote in English on account of him being English and all. Monster can just speak French.
Wen: Oh yeah. Monster. Hmmmmm
Me: Cheese question, this.
Wen: Is it the Loch Ness Monster?
Me: Yes! With her waterproof edition of the collected works of Milton and who swims up to Japanese tourists at Urquhart Castle saying Voulez-vous coucher avec moi (ce soir)? (Maybe with a slightly incredulous tone. Me, I mean. Not Nessie)
Wen: Really? (reaching for her brown cheese wedge)
Me: No. It was Frankenstein's Monster you muppet.

What made it worse, is she won in the end. Both of us had full wheels but she just landed on the middle first and answered a Sports question!!

 

[gbb]

Marzena, machine operator, asked me to change the tooling on a machine, which I happily obliged.
An hour later, she ruefully asked me to switch it back for the next job...so soon was slightly unusual..
My answer in a serious tone..
'No, sorry, I can only change it once a day'
She stopped dead, looked confused then ....realising I was pulling her leg.

Earlier, Sandra was struggling with setting up the print on some film and asked for some help...i duly sorted it.
'Colin...you are the man '
'I know '

Later i was asked to fix a flashing light in the office...
'one of the circliar ones ?'..i asked.
'one of the what ???'...she replied
'the circliar ones ...you know, not a tubliar one'
She intimated i was nuts ... i continued..
'i often mix words up for fun...ball bearyings, chimleys and so on, you'd be surprised how often people dont realise you're doing it.'

 

[gbb]

Round my sons last night, our three grandaughters, 2, 6 and 10 are coming to ours Saturday for the day, mum and dad have work, we plan to bake cakes etc.
Aimee, 6 said to me...
'How many days until we come to yours grandad ?'
'School tomorrow, then sleep, then you come to ours Saturday'
Aimee...

 

[Speicher]

What cakes are you baking? Can I join in?

 

[Scoosh]

What cakes are you baking? Can I join in eat them please?

FTFY or FTFMe !

 

[gavgav]

PA at work "I hate Deborah, she's so condescending, don't you?"

Me "No I think she's lovely actually and does a great job"

PA "why do you always see the good in people?"

Me "Because I'm a nice person and there is enough crap going on in this place to be miserable about every person I come into contact with, unlike some people around here"

PA.......silence.

She loves to gossip about people, bend the truth about what they say and generally moan. Why do some people just enjoy moaning?

 

[gbb]

What cakes are you baking? Can I join in?

I suspect It'll be messy...very messy whatever cakes they decide.

 

[annedonnelly]

I volunteer at a project based in a local museum. The staff are busy preparing for a big exhibition about Gertrude Bell who was a contemporary of Lawrence of Arabia. The exhibition involves borrowing exhibitions from other museums...

Staff member: "Have you seen Lawrence's head dress?"

A pause...

"It looks just like a tea towel!"

 

[gbb]

Walking the dog, 5am today, he half heartedly chased an urban fox. Shortly after I saw a lone guy walking up behind us so I called the dog to me. At the same time I saw another fox ahead of us.
The youngish guy caught us up and said...
'Did you see that fox man...'
'Yeah, you just walked past another one a minute ago, I'm surprised you didnt see him '
He seemed impressed at seeing it.
A few words passed and he turned toward his front door and said...
'You have a good day there'
'You too, take it easy'

 

[gbb]

Grandkids are round, great day so far. At one stage Hollie (10) picked up my work earplugs .! the earbud ones with a cord between them and asked..
'whats this grandad ?'
'Y'know when its smelly at work....' I started....
She looked slightly confused ....the wife saw the laugh I was trying to supress...
'Colin...don't you dare '