Give me some dialogue from your day
- Thread starter Crackle
- Start date
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Lullabelle
Banana
- Location
- Midlands UK
One of the guys at our place is openly gay and likes to cuddle women because he likes the feel of women's breasts. This morning
P**L: come here darlin and give us a cuddle, ooh they feel nice pressed against me,
ME: if you start to slip some oestrogen in John's tea then in a few months time....
P**L: I don't like them on men
ME: fair enough
P**L: I had best stop, I am starting to twitch
ME: You are getting a twitch
P**L: it is Christmas, miracles happen
ME: You twitching is one hell of a miracle
P**L:
P**L: come here darlin and give us a cuddle, ooh they feel nice pressed against me,
ME: if you start to slip some oestrogen in John's tea then in a few months time....
P**L: I don't like them on men
ME: fair enough
P**L: I had best stop, I am starting to twitch
ME: You are getting a twitch
P**L: it is Christmas, miracles happen
ME: You twitching is one hell of a miracle
P**L:
annedonnelly
Girl from the North Country
- Location
- Blyth, Northumberland
On my commute the cycle path crosses a little stream. A small boy & his dad were heading in the other direction...
Dad: "Look - there's not as much water as there was yesterday"
Small boy (turning around): "I'm going to look for the water"
Dad: "No! It's time for school!"
Dad: "Look - there's not as much water as there was yesterday"
Small boy (turning around): "I'm going to look for the water"
Dad: "No! It's time for school!"
captain nemo1701
Space cadet. Deck 42 Main Engineering.
- Location
- Bristol
Could you please tell that to the selfish owner of the evidently horse-sized dog which is allowed to leave crap on the pavement outside my house and that of my neighbour! Today, for the 3rd time in about a month there were mounds of the damn stuff out there ...
I feel my veneer of civilisation slowly being stripped back by this. If I catch the owner walking away from another steaming pile of sh*t from their hound I would find it hard to resist the impulse to drag them back and force them into it!
I once came out of a house I lived in, pushing my bike forwards with one hand while closing the front door with the other. On turning around, my front wheel was about two inches from the biggest dog dropping I've ever seen, right in the middle of our garden path. Some moron had let their hound unload a gargantuan log in our front garden path. Know how you feel..grrrr
. And some owners think that the access ramps to the Bristol Railway Path are doggy toilets. I am utterly aghast at those retards who put the poop in little freezer bags to hang on tree branches.......
gbb
Squire
- Location
- Peterborough
John Lewis were advertising the Ipad air for £339. No stock...bugger.
Currys had them in for £359. Normally price matching requires the item the store is matching to actually be in stock at their competitors...which of course its not.
I got my Ipad in Currys..
'Do you price match ?' i asked.
'Oh yes sir'
'John Lewis are selling it for £339'
'No problem, i'll discount it for you'
He didnt check, didnt even look bothered....
£20s better in my pocket than theirs. Always pays to ask.
Currys had them in for £359. Normally price matching requires the item the store is matching to actually be in stock at their competitors...which of course its not.
I got my Ipad in Currys..
'Do you price match ?' i asked.
'Oh yes sir'
'John Lewis are selling it for £339'
'No problem, i'll discount it for you'
He didnt check, didnt even look bothered....
£20s better in my pocket than theirs. Always pays to ask.
gbb
Squire
- Location
- Peterborough
Its Xmas bonus time.. I was thinking as i drove home, its funny how when you really need money...its never there. We're not well off compared to some but very comfortable and have a simple lifestyle. Now, we don't need the money...not really, its just icing on a cake.
Picked up the wife from shopping half an hour after thinking that.
I know when the wife has something on her mind, she won't ask directly, rather mildly skirt around it and see what my reaction is....
'I talked to Zoe today'.
She's our sons partner. He is despite our damnest efforts, one of lifes coasters, no drive, just does enough to get by..perhaps a waster in some peoples eyes, but he's our son and despite some acrimonious times, we love him. He's a pain at times, drives us nuts, hes 30 and will never have money, but that's the deck of cards he's been dealt, he'll never change, he doesnt have the skills or will. I feel for him sometimes, he's good hearted, but can't find a way to deal with lifes struggles, he's effectively opted out...he's very fatalistic about things sometimes. To his credit, he does and always has worked, minimum wage stuff, but work he does.
I listened...
'I wondered how they were doing for Xmas..if they were ready. They're struggling, she said she cant get stuff until blah blah date so she's a bit stressed. I'm thinking of taking her food shopping next week, get her a weeks worth and I'll get her a taxi home....ive already brought them some treats'
Now she's waiting for my reaction.....
'Lovely....why not. Sod it, there's more to life than saving money' and I told her what I'd been thinking half an hour before.
'I'll ring her, see what she thinks'
Picked up the wife from shopping half an hour after thinking that.
I know when the wife has something on her mind, she won't ask directly, rather mildly skirt around it and see what my reaction is....
'I talked to Zoe today'.
She's our sons partner. He is despite our damnest efforts, one of lifes coasters, no drive, just does enough to get by..perhaps a waster in some peoples eyes, but he's our son and despite some acrimonious times, we love him. He's a pain at times, drives us nuts, hes 30 and will never have money, but that's the deck of cards he's been dealt, he'll never change, he doesnt have the skills or will. I feel for him sometimes, he's good hearted, but can't find a way to deal with lifes struggles, he's effectively opted out...he's very fatalistic about things sometimes. To his credit, he does and always has worked, minimum wage stuff, but work he does.
I listened...
'I wondered how they were doing for Xmas..if they were ready. They're struggling, she said she cant get stuff until blah blah date so she's a bit stressed. I'm thinking of taking her food shopping next week, get her a weeks worth and I'll get her a taxi home....ive already brought them some treats'
Now she's waiting for my reaction.....
'Lovely....why not. Sod it, there's more to life than saving money' and I told her what I'd been thinking half an hour before.
'I'll ring her, see what she thinks
'
Andy_R
Hard of hearing..I said Herd of Herring..oh FFS..
- Location
- County Durham
True Christmas spiritIts Xmas bonus time.. I was thinking as i drove home, its funny how when you really need money...its never there. We're not well off compared to some but very comfortable and have a simple lifestyle. Now, we don't need the money...not really, its just icing on a cake.
Picked up the wife from shopping half an hour after thinking that.
I know when the wife has something on her mind, she won't ask directly, rather mildly skirt around it and see what my reaction is....
'I talked to Zoe today'.
She's our sons partner. He is despite our damnest efforts, one of lifes coasters, no drive, just does enough to get by..perhaps a waster in some peoples eyes, but he's our son and despite some acrimonious times, we love him. He's a pain at times, drives us nuts, hes 30 and will never have money, but that's the deck of cards he's been dealt, he'll never change, he doesnt have the skills or will. I feel for him sometimes, he's good hearted, but can't find a way to deal with lifes struggles, he's effectively opted out...he's very fatalistic about things sometimes. To his credit, he does and always has worked, minimum wage stuff, but work he does.
I listened...
'I wondered how they were doing for Xmas..if they were ready. They're struggling, she said she cant get stuff until blah blah date so she's a bit stressed. I'm thinking of taking her food shopping next week, get her a weeks worth and I'll get her a taxi home....ive already brought them some treats'
Now she's waiting for my reaction.....
'Lovely....why not. Sod it, there's more to life than saving money' and I told her what I'd been thinking half an hour before.
'I'll ring her, see what she thinks
- as is Mrs gbb, except she's not a man and ... 
YKWIM 
SteCenturion
I am your Father
- Location
- The Dark Side of the Moon.
Late this morning in Tesco.
I asked a staff member, youngish lad in his 20's carrying a can I help lollipop if he had access to the perfume cabinet.
"No" he replied "but I can get someone shortly, which one is it you want" ?
I pointed out the 125ml Issey Miyake L'eau d'Issey Pour Homme.
He spotted one out on a shelf I hadn't seen. Great I thought.
"Is it the same size" I asked ?
"Exactly the same I think" says he ...
"4.2 flower ounces"
I asked a staff member, youngish lad in his 20's carrying a can I help lollipop if he had access to the perfume cabinet.
"No" he replied "but I can get someone shortly, which one is it you want" ?
I pointed out the 125ml Issey Miyake L'eau d'Issey Pour Homme.
He spotted one out on a shelf I hadn't seen. Great I thought.
"Is it the same size" I asked ?
"Exactly the same I think" says he ...
"4.2 flower ounces"
SteCenturion
I am your Father
- Location
- The Dark Side of the Moon.
Saluki
World class procrastinator
- Location
- ...Norwich over the water.
At work, jamming !
Leigh: I really liked the Wombles
- I had been playing Hall of the Mountain King, the Wombles covered it
Me: I liked The Clangers best
Leigh: Toot toot toot to-to-toot
Me: Yup that's them. I liked the sweary one best
Leigh: Clangers do not swear
Me: They do too.
Leigh: Prove it
Me: Budge up a bit then ~type type type~
Me: Here you go
View: https://youtu.be/-OvefhhMbbg
Leigh:
Leigh: I really liked the Wombles
- I had been playing Hall of the Mountain King, the Wombles covered it
Me: I liked The Clangers best
Leigh: Toot toot toot to-to-toot
Me: Yup that's them. I liked the sweary one best
Leigh: Clangers do not swear
Me: They do too.
Leigh: Prove it
Me: Budge up a bit then ~type type type~
Me: Here you go
View: https://youtu.be/-OvefhhMbbg
Leigh:
Andy_R
Hard of hearing..I said Herd of Herring..oh FFS..
- Location
- County Durham
At work, jamming !
Leigh: I really liked the Wombles
- I had been playing Hall of the Mountain King, the Wombles covered it
Me: I liked The Clangers best
Leigh: Toot toot toot to-to-toot
Me: Yup that's them. I liked the sweary one best
Leigh: Clangers do not swear
Me: They do too.
Leigh: Prove it
Me: Budge up a bit then ~type type type~
Me: Here you go
View: https://youtu.be/-OvefhhMbbg
Leigh:
did you then google "Clangers on Dr Who"? I did
Saluki
World class procrastinator
- Location
- ...Norwich over the water.
There is only so much of hogging Leigh's keyboard that I dare do. Otherwise I'll get Paganini for homeworkdid you then google "Clangers on Dr Who"? I did
Thomk
Guru
- Location
- Warwickshire
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