Give me some dialogue from your day

[gbb]

Member of management to me...
'You didn't answer your radio again'
'Sorry, didn't hear it'
'You didn't answer it earlier either'
'No, i didn't hear it, i've had my head in this machine for the last hour (and we're stood in a very noisy factory)

She says this frequently, i think she thinks i'm being awkward. It hasn't dawned on her it's a noisy environment, even noisier when i'm working on a machine. Perhaps one day it'll sink in...

 

[NormanD]

Mrs Crackle: That's infected

Me: My swiss army knife.

You sure you didn't run out of toilet paper when you last used it ?

 

[qwiksilver]

Your son? That means the male:female ratio in your house is in your favour. Seat should be in the up position!

no its pretty fair we have a daughter too so its 1:1 really but that dont stop em complainin lol

 

[gbb]

Now the cold weathers (hopefully) gone, one of the guys at work was putting back the rock salt applying barrow to its permanent home. It was a wierd sight, him pushing it along in the sun, so i shouted...
'Rafi, you daft tw@t, the snow melted days ago'

 

[gbb]

7am, got up to see the wife peering out of the back door towards the shed...
Wife..'There's a mouse under the shed '
Me....''Everyones got mice under the shed '
Wife..'I'm going to get a mousetrap, i'm not having that'
Me...'You're wasting your time, get rid of that one, another will take its place'
More general mouse based discussion and watching while she's putting pieces of cheese out for it (very gingerly) ...
Wife..'I'm not going out the gate this morning ' this would cause her to pass the shed AND the dreaded mouse she's just been feeding
Finally, she wanders up the path , stoops down to see if the mouse is around, looks for maybe 30 seconds...BANGS the shed with her hand, turns round and walks back in.

Me...'You banged that shed to scare him off before you turned your back on him didnt you ?'

Wife..'yes'

Me..

 

[Theseus]

More general mouse based discussion and watching while she's putting pieces of cheese out for it (very gingerly) ...

Chocolate spread makes a very good bait for mousetraps. Cheese doesn't seem to work on our mice.

 

[Matthew_T]

Chocolate spread makes a very good bait for mousetraps. Cheese doesn't seem to work on our mice.

Do you have American mice then?

 

[tyred]

I've found peanut butter good for mice traps.

 

[colly]

Ring ring:

Me: Hello

Lady: It's Mrs ...... here. Are you calling around this afternoon?

Me: Yes at 3 30 as we agreed. I'm just setting off now I will be about 10 mins.

Lady: Well it's 3 15 and I was expecting you at 3 30.

Me: Yes I know, it will take me less than 15 mins I will be with you at 3 30.

Lady: But I have to go out at 3 30.

Me: Oh. Do you want me to call later?

Lady: No, I will be out at 3 30.

Me: I will be with you before 3 30.

Lady: How long will you be? You are supposed to be here at 3 30

Me: I WILL BE THERE BEFORE 3 30.

Lady: But I have to go out at 3 30. Can you call sooner?

Me: It is just after 3 15 I will be with you AT 3 25.

Lady: How long will you be?

Me: 10 mins.

Lady: Can you call sooner?

Me: No it will take 10 mins to get to you but I am just setting off so I will be there at 3 30.

Lady: I need to be out at 3 30.

Me: I know you said. Look would you like me to call later this afternoon or this evening or another day?

Lady: No. I'll leave it. You should have been on time.

Me: ..............................................................

 

[Archie_tect]

You should have gone straight round instead of messing about on the phone...

 

[ColinJ]

Ring ring:

Me: Hello

Lady: It's Mrs ...... here. Are you calling around this afternoon?

...

I was going to click the Like link but then I realised that I didn't like it! I mean - it's a perfectly reasonable post, but it is about a perfectly unreasonable woman and I was getting stressed reading it!

I've frequently suffered in that kind of stupid conversation and they do my head in! A phone call 15 minutes before I'm due to arrive, while I'm getting ready, so I stop what I'm doing, spend 10 minutes arguing about whether I'm going to be late, then finish getting ready in a stressed flap, run round, get there 1 minute after the arranged time and am greeted with "See, I told you that you'd be late!" - aaaargh!

 

[colly]

You should have gone straight round instead of messing about on the phone...

I should have done but she called me, actually sitting in the van on the drive about to set off.

Ticked off at the time but maybe it was a lucky escape.

I've frequently suffered in that kind of stupid conversation and they do my head in!

Yes calls like that do my head in too Colin but in the grand scheme it's just a minor irritation and is kind
of amusing.

 

[SavageHoutkop]

Why is it that men are expected to put the seat down yet women don't think they should put it up?

To be fair if the whole lid is down it significantly reduces the chance of something falling into the loo... I believe the most common cause of water damage to phones is falling into the toilet!

 

[GrasB]

SavageHoutkop, When you hear an echo you know you're talking to your self

 

[GrumpyGregry]

Him (sports physio): did you drive here then?
Me: No, I've gone car free. I cycled, nice day and everything.
Him: How far's that then?
Me: I dunno, I came the long way anyway, 20km.
Him: How you getting home?
Me: Bike
Him: The long way?
Me: Actually I thought I'd pop down to Pulborough and then come back up.
Him: (laughing) That's the opposite direction!
Me: (sheepishly) It's the "longer" way
Him: So if I tell you this might need some rest you won't listen will you?
Me: I'll listen, but maybe your definition of rest if different to mine.
Him: (laughing) You cyclists are nuts. Completely nuts. You're all the ruddy same.