That's probably because he hasn't worked out what those white dots on your laptop screen are yet.
Give me some dialogue from your day
- Thread starter Crackle
- Start date
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Customer: I'm glad you called, I need some new cushion fillings for my suite. They are far to hard for me.
Me: OK well I'll just get some measurements and I'll give you a quote.
Customer: They have hardly been used so I want you to allow me something for the existing ones.
Me: I can't allow you anything for them. They will just get thrown away.
Customer: They are perfectly fine you can use them I'm sure.
Me: I'm sorry but I can't. Cushions are tailor made for the chairs they are for. They won't fit anything else.
Customer: Yes they will. They are a standard size.
Me: No they aren't. They MIGHT fit another suite but it's unlikely.
Customer: Well they have not been used so you will be able to use them.
Me: The softer cushions you want. Do you want second hand cushions ?
Customer: Certainly not !
Me: Exactly ! Nor do other people want your old cast offs.
Customer: .....................................................................................
Me: Exit stage left.
Me: OK well I'll just get some measurements and I'll give you a quote.
Customer: They have hardly been used so I want you to allow me something for the existing ones.
Me: I can't allow you anything for them. They will just get thrown away.
Customer: They are perfectly fine you can use them I'm sure.
Me: I'm sorry but I can't. Cushions are tailor made for the chairs they are for. They won't fit anything else.
Customer: Yes they will. They are a standard size.
Me: No they aren't. They MIGHT fit another suite but it's unlikely.
Customer: Well they have not been used so you will be able to use them.
Me: The softer cushions you want. Do you want second hand cushions ?
Customer: Certainly not !
Me: Exactly ! Nor do other people want your old cast offs.
Customer: .....................................................................................
Me: Exit stage left.
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gbb
Squire
- Location
- Peterborough
Home half an hour before...bike is leant against outside the back door and im eating tea...it starts to rain lightly, I get up and wheel the bike into the kitchen...
'Errrr whatcha doing ????
asks the wife...
I get moaned at if i bring them in too often...
'Its not my fault, Its raining, carbon melts if you get it wet...
'
The wife gave me that look ...y'know, that look of mild annoyance
'Errrr whatcha doing ????
asks the wife...I get moaned at if i bring them in too often...
'Its not my fault, Its raining, carbon melts if you get it wet...
'The wife gave me that look ...y'know, that look of mild annoyance
MossCommuter
Guru
- Location
- Salford
Man on train: you've come prepared!
Me: would you like a glass?
MoT: I'm from Texas
Me: Oh. Would you like a glass?
MoT: it's a bit early for me
Me: it's never too early
MoT:
Me: would you like a glass?
MoT: I'm from Texas
Me: Oh. Would you like a glass?
MoT: it's a bit early for me
Me: it's never too early
MoT:
swee'pea99
Legendary Member
Mind wandering recently, I did my first 'run' on my chin, thought 'blimey, that's a lot of clippings', then realised I'd forgotten to put the #2 shield on, and had just cut a 2" highway, right to the skin, through my beard. D'oh!
ClichéGuevara
Legendary Member
- Location
- Kingston upon the River Hull
A colleague, who has come out with some classics, was explaining what a friend of hers did, and described him as "a car mantler".
After a bit of confusion from the rest of us, she explained it must be what he is because he doesn't take them apart, so he's obviously not a car dismantler.
The other quote from her, I set as a challenge. We can all appreciate a quick witted come back, and these are best if made straight away. But I reckon you need a lifetime to find a reply to this.
The colleague is attractive and breezed in with a new hair colour. "Wahay", says the office letch, "have you got matching collar and cuffs?"
Without breaking stride, the reply back was "silly bastard, do I look bald?".
After a bit of confusion from the rest of us, she explained it must be what he is because he doesn't take them apart, so he's obviously not a car dismantler.
The other quote from her, I set as a challenge. We can all appreciate a quick witted come back, and these are best if made straight away. But I reckon you need a lifetime to find a reply to this.
The colleague is attractive and breezed in with a new hair colour. "Wahay", says the office letch, "have you got matching collar and cuffs?"
Without breaking stride, the reply back was "silly bastard, do I look bald?".
jhawk
Veteran
- Location
- New Brunswick, Canada
Setting off yesterday to ride home, a friend escorted me out of the city. He rides a fixie. Took one look at my fully laden bike.,,
"Farking hell, it must be like riding like a shopping trolley!"
"Farking hell, it must be like riding like a shopping trolley!"
gbb
Squire
- Location
- Peterborough
'What a sentimental load of old cr&p,'...i uttered as the wife was watching Casualty.
Embarrassing, whoever writes it wants shooting, doctors baring their soul and emotions to patients and family, talking endlessly about the difficult decisions they have to make day after day etc etc....cr&p.
Embarrassing, whoever writes it wants shooting, doctors baring their soul and emotions to patients and family, talking endlessly about the difficult decisions they have to make day after day etc etc....cr&p.
gbb
Squire
- Location
- Peterborough
Its rained here a fair bit today, no desire to get out, just pottered around, I go a bit stir crazy if I get bored, a bit mardy if the truth be known. Its stopped raining..the light is just beginning to fall...
'Im going out for half an hour, I'll just take the hybrid over Ferry Meadows' (our local country park)...'I've got to do something, stretch the legs or something'
'No problem' said the wife...she recognises when im getting 'tetchy'
3/4 hour along paths, parkland and woodland, quite innapropriately dressed in shorts, a t shirt, trainers and no socks, hardly a soul around...short but excellent.
'Im going out for half an hour, I'll just take the hybrid over Ferry Meadows' (our local country park)...'I've got to do something, stretch the legs or something'
'No problem' said the wife...she recognises when im getting 'tetchy'
3/4 hour along paths, parkland and woodland, quite innapropriately dressed in shorts, a t shirt, trainers and no socks, hardly a soul around...short but excellent.
Lisat
Well-Known Member
- Location
- Bournemouth
Talking to my cousin I was explaining that my daughter was going to university
Me: which is a huge relief as her plan b was travelling around Columbia.
Cousin: what did she want to that for? well at least she won't be a drug donkey now.
That will now be down in the family phrase book
Me: which is a huge relief as her plan b was travelling around Columbia.
Cousin: what did she want to that for? well at least she won't be a drug donkey now.
That will now be down in the family phrase book
Mattonsea
Über Member
- Location
- New Forest
Sarah Montague , Today Programme 7.00am ' Later we will be talking to the head of the Britain's Sperm bank ,in its first year it only has 9 donors, we will be find out what's been going on there?
Profpointy
Legendary Member
Sarah Montague , Today Programme 7.00am ' Later we will be talking to the head of the Britain's Sperm bank ,in its first year it only has 9 donors, we will be find out what's been going on there?
cue the one about the lady at the AI clinic being rather put out when the Doc walks in stark bollock naked. "what's your game?", she says tetchilly. "I'm terribly sorry", he replies, "we've run out of bottled, you'll have to have draught"
.... boom, tsh ! I thank you
ClichéGuevara
Legendary Member
- Location
- Kingston upon the River Hull
Sarah Montague , Today Programme 7.00am ' Later we will be talking to the head of the Britain's Sperm bank ,in its first year it only has 9 donors, we will be find out what's been going on there?
Well she's either not doing her bit, or talking with her mouthful.
