Give me some dialogue from your day

[captain nemo1701]

A work colleague is having some construction work done on his house and there was a problem with a blocked drain. CCTV showed it had some building rubble in it.
When my colleague told us this , he quickly added 'I've been sh***ing bricks'. It made my Friday afternoon.

 

[gbb]

We, our hands on manager, the apprentice and myself are sat in the workshop discussing a company plan to move to new premises, a perhaps £20 million investment in buildings, equipment and machinery. Lots of things are rumoured.
Apprentice asks manager for a specific detail...
Manager to apprentice......'I could tell you, but I'd have to kill you'
Me To manager............'Hey, youve got minions y'know...I'll kill him for you'
Apprentice to manager..'Yeah, why have a dog and bark yourself ?'

From nowhere, suddenly we were all laughing

 

[gbb]

Im headed out on my ride today, at the end of my estate and the beginning of an industrial area...a black teenager in a smart hoodie and tracks, on a Cannondale roadbike, possibly a CX called and said...'sorry, any idea where blah blah is ?'
'Yes bud, its 1/2 a mile that way, I'm headed that way, I'll show you if you want'
We chatted as we rode, he said...'its not going to be a race is it ?'
'No no, you'd almost certainly beat me, im 57 and got a dodgy chest'
'No way...57, you dont look it'

At some stage I said to him...'how things have changed, 5 or 10 years ago, someone of your age wouldnt be seen dead on one of those..now it seems you see plently young old boys on them'
'I like them, theyre cool' he said.

Thoroughly nice young fella to talk to..just a random crossing of paths. Afterwards i thought, when he said how he thought the bike was cool, i should have said...'you wanna get some clothes this this then mate...' I couldnt see it somehow, could have been a step too far for his image

 

[Supersuperleeds]

I'm going by two horse riders on this mornings ride, when one of the horse lets a big one rip, one of the riders says to me, "Sorry about that"

My reply - "I assume that was one of the horses?" - I could still hear them laughing half a mile away (okay maybe a slight exaggeration)

 

[colly]

Rats !
Still have the buggers. The traps I bought to sort them out were f****** hopeless.
One trap sprung, no bait, no rat. The other not sprung, no bait. I swear I heard little mocking, squeeky, tittering sounds down the end of the garden.

Bast4rds.

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

Are you sure @Mad Doug Biker isn't camping at the end of your garden?

I probably would have got caught in the trap though

 

[Maverick Goose]

It's that time of year again...
'I got kicked off the phone the other day because it was starting'.
''Sorry, got to go-Strictly's on. Love you!''.
'Thanks mum!'

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

Instead of watching it, I'd rather go out and learn to dance too!

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

We're having a brew at work, colleague asks me...
'Can i pinch a smidgeon of milk ?'
'Yeah, no problem'
He pours some milk into his tea...i say mockingly
'That was two smidgeons '

"So you owe me 1 smidgeon !"

Define a 'smidgeon'.

Is there a weights and meassures office somewhere for it?

 

[gbb]

Me...
'Blaghh, ackkkk, spit, hawk, euuuugh '
Colleague...
'Eh ?'
Me..
'Arghhh, ...jeeez that's bloo*y horrible'...wipes mouth furiously, face screwed up.

I'm stripping a machine, bloomin filthy, fruit flies are buzzing out of it, its in the deepest recesses of it, my tools are filthy and slippery....i'd put my torch in my mouth to illuminate what i was trying to get to and still use both hands to remove a chain..but unthinkingly used filthy gloved hands to pick the torch up.
Torch didnt taste good.

 

[jhawk]

Speaking to a friend of mine, showed her some old and horrible photos of me.

"You've not changed a bit!"

"I SO HAVE. YOU CAN FARK RIGHT OFF!"

""

 

[ColinJ]

Rats !
Still have the buggers. The traps I bought to sort them out were f****** hopeless.
One trap sprung, no bait, no rat. The other not sprung, no bait. I swear I heard little mocking, squeeky, tittering sounds down the end of the garden.

Bast4rds.

I have a job lot of Warfarin that I could let you have cheap ...



(Actually, many of the blighters are immune to it now, so that probably wouldn't help!)

 

[machew]

Define a 'smidgeon'.

Is there a weights and meassures office somewhere for it?

• Tad — 1/8th teaspoon
• Dash — 1/16th teaspoon (or less than 1/8th teaspoon)
• Pinch — 1/16th teaspoon (or 1/24th teaspoon)
• Smidgen (smidge, for short) — 1/32nd teaspoon (or 1/48th teaspoon)
• Drop — 1/60th teaspoon (or 1/80th teaspoon or 1/120th teaspoon)
• Hint — a trace

 

[jhawk]

• Tad — 1/8th teaspoon
• Dash — 1/16th teaspoon (or less than 1/8th teaspoon)
• Pinch — 1/16th teaspoon (or 1/24th teaspoon)
• Smidgen (smidge, for short) — 1/32nd teaspoon (or 1/48th teaspoon)
• Drop — 1/60th teaspoon (or 1/80th teaspoon or 1/120th teaspoon)
• Hint — a trace

Just had to be that guy, eh?

 

[machew]

Just had to be that guy, eh?

Yup, and for those who like measuring spoons
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/B000H0UAUI/ochefcom-20