Give me some dialogue from your day

[Rezillo]

I'm very impressed by a 6 year old who knows what a grebe is! She ought to be contributing to the wildlife of the day thread.

Here's one from Ranworth Broad this afternoon. However, I am older than 6.

 

[Rickshaw Phil]

She's not trying hard enough. My sister reversed into a church once.

That's nothing. While putting his car into his own garage my dad's neighbour managed to demolish a freezer, knock the gas boiler off the wall and take the door and frame completely out of the wall. Oh, and smash half a dozen eggs...

Pah! My dad bounced a works Land Crab (Austin 1800) off Birmingham Town Hall back in the day. (Wet road + his first experience of power steering.)

 

[ColinJ]

It's an exceptionally slow day at work so C has decided to bring his car round to the warehouse and fix a badly mounted bumper that has been bothering him for ages:

C: (Jacks up car using pallet truck - it doesn't go high enough) I need to lift the car up higher - have we got any blocks?

Me: No I think all the wood is buried under the scrap cardboard pile.

C: What about those pallets? Could we break one up?

Me (thinks about how much work that would be without the tools to help and how safe it's likely to be be jacking up a car stacked on scrap wood) I suppose so.

C: Ah, sod it, I'll just use the fork lift.

And he did :
View attachment 101132

Here's a 35 year old fork lift truck dialogue spread over 3 days!

(I was working at a factory in Coventry. The drive in front of our loading bay had developed a couple of potholes.)

Fork lift truck driver: This bloody drive needs repairing. I nearly drove the truck into that pothole.

Foreman: Yeah, I'll see about getting that sorted ...

[Next day ...]

Fork lift truck driver: This bloody drive STILL needs repairing. I had another near miss with that pothole.

Foreman: Damn - I forgot, I'll see about getting that sorted ...

[Next day ...]

Foreman (talking to me in the factory): And when you have finished shrink-wrapping that pallet-load, go to ....

[Suddenly, outside the loading bay ...]

Bang ... BANG ... BANG ... BANG!!!!

Fork lift truck driver: Ferkin' HELL - I told him about that bloody pothole!!!!

We ran outside and found the fork lift truck at a jaunty angle with one front wheel in the pothole, and several thousand pounds worth of ruined product spread over the drive!

Foreman: Oh, yeah, that pothole - &*$%!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Nihal]

I wonder what @Nihal thinks of this?:


View: http://youtu.be/Ln5QgeCL1fs

 

[gbb]

It's an exceptionally slow day at work so C has decided to bring his car round to the warehouse and fix a badly mounted bumper that has been bothering him for ages:

C: (Jacks up car using pallet truck - it doesn't go high enough) I need to lift the car up higher - have we got any blocks?

Me: No I think all the wood is buried under the scrap cardboard pile.

C: What about those pallets? Could we break one up?

Me (thinks about how much work that would be without the tools to help and how safe it's likely to be be jacking up a car stacked on scrap wood) I suppose so.

C: Ah, sod it, I'll just use the fork lift.

And he did :
View attachment 101132

Circa 1978 a supervisor brought his beat up old Wolsey (shaped like an Austin 1100 bit much higher specced) Into the workshop because the hydrolastic suspension was sagging. Between them they decided to jack it up using a pallet truck forks as in the photo above.
Remember i said it was beat up....it was rusty as well. This isnt going to end well i sensed.
As they raised the car, the sills crumpled and left two fork shaped indentations in the sills.
He scrapped the car shortly after....

 

[gbb]

'Hi' said the circa 70 year old as he approached me in 1970s (I assume) kit and cycling cap.
I'd been admiring his Hetchins with Campag running gear and an old Claud Butler, the welds on the CB were fabulous, it looked so smooth, lovely curved smooth seemless joints between the top bar and head tube etc...at complete odds with the intricate lugwork on the Hetchins. Several minutes of conversation followed re the curly seat and chainstays on his Hetchins, of which he had two apparently.
1940s weekend, well his stuff was stretching it a bit, but a very good relaxed show with lots of tanks, military stuff and re-enactments, etc etc etc.
Now he was an enthusiast...probaby been cycling all his life.

 

[gbb]

Oh...my...God, thats beautiful ....I said.
As above, 1940s show with all the usual food vendors etc. I was offered a piece of cheese, farmhouse cheddar in tubular packaging, obviously premium stuff.
Soft, creamy, slightly salty and maybe a tad nutty, it just melted in your mouth leaving a lingering beautiful taste....
'Have you seen the price' said the wife ?
£15 for maybe 300g, maybe 500g max. Blimey...

 

[welsh dragon]

Oh...my...God, thats beautiful ....I said.
As above, 1940s show with all the usual food vendors etc. I was offered a piece of cheese, farmhouse cheddar in tubular packaging, obviously premium stuff.
Soft, creamy, slightly salty and maybe a tad nutty, it just melted in your mouth leaving a lingering beautiful taste....
'Have you seen the price' said the wife ?
£15 for maybe 300g, maybe 500g max. Blimey...

Did it still taste wonderful, or did you suddenly choke on it.

 

[stephec]

A conversation earlier today about going to Ironbridge, wife and daughter are looking at a leaflet.

Wife: There's more there than when I went.

Daughter: You've been before?

Yeah, with school.

God, how long has it been there?

 

[simon the viking]

Mrs V.. That Stilton you bought stinks

Me.. That's because its Gorgonzola

Mrs V..

Me..

 

[welsh dragon]

Mr WD. Bloody hell that was close.

Me. What was.

Mr WD. I was half way through cutting my hair with the clippers, when it died on me.

Me. If I had seen that I would have PMSL.

MR WD. I know, thats why I didn't come out until I had charged the clippers for a while. If you had seen me like that, you would never let me forget it.

ME. Dam right I wouldn't.

 

[welsh dragon]

Following on from @stephec and his bathroom scales fisaco with his wife, yesterday I ordered some tippex from Amazon. Mr WD saw the email and said to me "I see you've ordered tippix. What do you want that for".

Me. Well I just looked at him.......

 

[ColinJ]

Here's one from Ranworth Broad this afternoon. However, I am older than 6.

View attachment 101136

I am a lot older than 6 and I didn't know that was a Grebe!

 

[Supersuperleeds]

Today on my dinner time pootle to our warehouse I come across a young couple on fully laden bikes

Me; "All right going far?"
Fella: "Scotland"
Me; "farking hell, good on you, where you come from"
Fella: "Poole"

We then had a bit of a chat

Me: "where you stopping today?"
Fella "Camping in Chesterfield"
Me: Farking hell, you better hurry up then".

Wished them luck and went on my way

 

[Levo-Lon]

Dad phones me to ask if i can have a look at the rear discs on his car...there making a horrible sound.

feck me..there ground down to the backing plates and the disc totaly ruined..
new discs and pads both side as one side was ok but a stuck caliper had worked its magic..only £44 for new discs and pads both side with dicount and quality pads too...

while im doing the job what should fly right over my house but the wonderfull Vulcan Bomber with 3 Tornado's accompanying it..awsome sight..so glad i was on the driveway..