Give me some dialogue from your day

[ColinJ]

Friend of ColinJ, after trip to shops together: Oh, the sun is shining - let's go for a walk!

ColinJ: Ok, I will just nip [the 50 metres] home and unpack my shopping. I will be back in 10 minutes.

FoCJ, on phone 3 minutes later: Forget it - look out of your window!

CJ: Ah, sleet ... Ok then, another time!

I took off my walking boots, made a cup of coffee, and relaxed. Suddenly, the sleet stopped and the sun started shining again. I reached for the phone, then ... thought "Nah, I can't be bothered" and carried on drinking my coffee!

 

[MossCommuter]

Him: "What were you doing there, in the middle of the road?"
Me: "It is a T-Junction, I was waiting to pull out, I was turning right. You were on the wrong side"
Him: "Hmmm, well, I didn't see any lights on that bike"
Me: "There are two on the front and three on the back"
Him: "Oh yeah... well, errr, sorry mate, I didn't see you"

 

[jhawk]

Watching an absolute abomination of a film last night. "Killdozer" from 1974. Everything was bad. And I mean everything. Plot, dialogue, acting, set, just everything.

Dad: "Watch out! Walk for your lives! It's coming to get you, at a top speed of EIGHT miles an hour!"

Me:

 

[ColinJ]

Watching an absolute abomination of a film last night. "Killdozer" from 1974. Everything was bad. And I mean everything. Plot, dialogue, acting, set, just everything.

Dad: "Watch out! Walk for your lives! It's coming to get you, at a top speed of EIGHT miles an hour!"

Me:

In fairness ... 8 mph is a very brisk walk!

 

[gavgav]

To set the scene, it had been snowing moderately for about 2 minutes.

Colleague :- "I am going to need to go home, it's getting bad out there"

Me :- Getting up to look out of the window "where, what am I looking for?"

Colleague :- "The snow, there are big flakes coming down. I can't be out in that"

Me:- "it's been snowing for 2 minutes, you live in a town, where the roads will have been gritted. It will pass soon and isn't forecast to be bad until possibly overnight. In any case there are people who live in remote areas who I will be sending home before you, if it gets bad."

Colleague:- Now in a huff

10 mins later the snow stopped.....

MAN THE F**K UP!!

 

[Lullabelle]

My female boss is going to our Manchester branch tomorrow,

Me: have a safe trip tomorrow and make sure you have a bottle of something strong for when you get home

My Boss:

 

[jhawk]

At a coffee shop earlier, on my tablet. This older-lady comes and sits down opposite me.

"Excuse me, do you have Plenty of Fish?"

"The app? No... I... err... Sorry, I've gotta go."

*Ran for the hills.*

Dad, later, after hearing about it.

"She could have taught you a thing or two! "

 

[ColinJ]

Sister of ColinJ: And he fell over and broke his arm a week before their holiday. They operated on it and he had to wait a few days to get the go ahead to fly to Egypt. The doctors eventually said it would be ok ...

ColinJ: Er, I think I know where this conversation is heading!

Sis: How could you possibly know what I am going to say?

Colin: You think that I would want to know something about the husband of a colleague of yours, therefore it has some relevance to me. The guy had an operation, and there is always a risk of post-operative clotting. He flew after the operation, which carries an increased risk. You didn't mention him being given Heparin shots to reduce the risk of clotting. I therefore deduce that he developed a DVT on or after his holiday and was rushed into hospital!

Sister: Flipping heck, Sherlock - yes! His leg went like yours did, purple and swollen to about 50% bigger than normal. He had a massive DVT!



PS I can't see why an arm operation would cause clotting in a leg! Perhaps the op had nothing to do with it. Apparently, it was a slow flight so perhaps it was just being cooped up on a plane for 5-6 hours?

 

[fimm]

@gavgav that reminds me of something a friend told me a few years ago.

He arrived at work one snowy day and the boss said "X isn't going to be in, he can't get his car off the drive"
My friend replied "Yes I know, I just walked past his house...."
(As far as I am aware there was no reason that X couldn't have walked.)

 

[SatNavSaysStraightOn]

PS I can't see why an arm operation would cause clotting in a leg!

It could possibly have something to do with the heart and blood still circulating in the body.. blood clot breaks off from operation site in arm, circulates around body getting stuck at a (previously unknown) dodgy valve in vein in leg... Just a theory...
Still I'm not a dr and that's just speculation...

 

[ColinJ]

It could possibly have something to do with the heart and blood still circulating in the body.. blood clot breaks off from operation site in arm, circulates around body getting stuck at a (previously unknown) dodgy valve in vein in leg... Just a theory...
Still I'm not a dr and that's just speculation...

I'm not sure where the arms are in the order of circulation. Clots that break free from DVTs in the legs pass through the heart and tend to get wedged in the pulmonary artery to the lungs (what happened to me the first time) or in the blood vessels of the lungs themselves (my relapse a year later). I think if the clots get further than that, they end up in the brain and you have a stroke.

But I'm not a doctor either, so don't quote me on it!

 

[jhawk]

So, my Dad has got an old antique typewriter, and he's just using it for the first time...

"Where's the one?!"

"What?"

"There isn't a number one on there."

Me, without thinking for one iota: "Maybe they didn't have it back then!"

Dad: "This was in 1929. What, do you think the human race started counting at two?" *Proceeded to laugh until he cried*.

He then posted it on Facebook. peanut.

 

[jhawk]

... He's still laughing.

 

[Spinney]

We had a typewriter like that once. You had to use the upper case i or lower case L (so I or l !)

 

[jhawk]

We had a typewriter like that once. You had to use the upper case i or lower case L (so I or l !)

He's discovered that now. So, I was right!