Give me some dialogue from your day

[Saluki]

Hubster's Giant Revel 3 is up on Gumtree at the moment. He says that it's taking up space that he needs for his CX. Anyway, phone rings

Man: Have you still got the bike
Me; Yes, I have.
Man: How much was it new?
Me: 380 quid
Man: Will you take twenty pounds.
Me: No. Thank you for calling.

 

[Maverick Goose]

Hubster's Giant Revel 3 is up on Gumtree at the moment. He says that it's taking up space that he needs for his CX. Anyway, phone rings

Man: Have you still got the bike
Me; Yes, I have.
Man: How much was it new?
Me: 380 quid
Man: Will you take twenty pounds.
Me: No. Thank you for calling.

Somebody obvs failed their maths GCSE...

 

[gbb]

We have a new Health and Safety manager, nice chap, amiable, approachable....but he's naturally H&S focused.
I went up to the offices to replace some fluorescent lamps, four girls are sat there, happy they wont have to endure a flickering lamp any more...
Me....waving a tube as I approach...
'You're not gonna to give me a hard time are you?...I'm only on light duties' ...which raised some laughter, surprisingly...theyre either bored or easily pleased.
So, step ladder up....i start to climb...
'want me to turn the lights off'...asked one of the girls
'no, its fine'.....and i got to the top of the steps.

And here come Mr H&S .....
'Hi Colin...you doing lights ?'
'Yep, just a couple'
...'you got a bigger set of steps..they look a bit small'
'we'll soon find out, i think theyre ok'....i replied..and they were.
..'you going to turn the lights off ?'
'no Its fine, im not touching the fitting itself, just the glass tubes'
.....
'dont suppose youve done a risk assessment ?'
'No...i havnt done a single one In the three years ive been here...no-one has ever requested we do any at all'
'Oh........'
'To be fair, i suspect things will change, whatever systems the company will wish upon us, we will comply of course....we simply work according to what was required previously'

After hed gone, i sensed the girls had been enjoying the conversation...
'H&S eh ?...i suspect things are going to change...'...'if i do this next week, it'll be three men, scaffollding, four pieces of paperwork, a half hour risk assessment, full body armour, clean underpants and ...lights off...just to play safe '
I think It was the highlight of the day for the girls in the office.....

 

[jhawk]

Dad posted this picture earlier on FB:

My friend of his commented on it: "Failed to keep your dash clean, I see!"

My aunt chirped in: "Dandruff!"

I followed up: "He hasn't got that much hair!"

Dad sends me a message on FB: "OI! Cheeky little sod!"

Me:

 

[jhawk]

A friend and I are using What'sApp's voice recording to have a phone conversation - she's in Australia. This is the weirdest thing ever.

"I'm definitely coming on a plane to see you!"

"Alright then!" Still a bit weirded out by it all...

 

[Andy_R]

Dad posted this picture earlier on FB:

View attachment 75647

My friend of his commented on it: "Failed to keep your dash clean, I see!"

My aunt chirped in: "Dandruff!"

I followed up: "He hasn't got that much hair!"

Dad sends me a message on FB: "OI! Cheeky little sod!"

Me:

scruffy colonials....

 

[jhawk]

A friend and I are on Skype.

"My Dad's turning 60. He's really down the hill..."

..."Don't you mean over the hill?"

"I can't even English, okay?"

""

 

[Ganymede]

Rather yummy old male friend: Gany!!
Me: RYOMF!!!!!
*we embrace enthusiastically having not met for some months*
RYOMF: I like you. You hug all the way down...
Me:
*we continue to embrace enthusiastically*

 

[BigonaBianchi]

niet ruski, ingliski...

Da

Nastrovia

da

ruski?

Niet, ingliski!

da

Nastrovia

Bye.

 

[jhawk]

Speaking to a friend on Skype.

"YOU HAVE A BEARD?!"

*I wouldn't call it a beard, but it's getting there! Everyone else hasn't called it a beard, everyone else thinks I'm wishfully trying in vain to grow one.*

"What? Erm. Yes! Yes I do!"

She's a keeper!

 

[gbb]

Mum, on the phone this morning...
'Can i take you two out to dinner tomorrow ?
'Err, yep, that'd be lovely'
' I had a good win at bingo last night. '

That means she's possibly won from £200 to £1000, shes a regular and occasionally wins in that region. Mums 84, recently widowed and we've been working real hard to keep her at the centre of everything since dad passed away. We must be doing ok

 

[Katherine]

Neice (aged 9): We had to read a really really really really really really really really really really really really r e a ll y BORING poem.
Rest of family, smiling : What was it?
N: The Lady of Shallot
ROF: Oh you poor thing, laughing!

 

[Supersuperleeds]

On the way to work this morning:

Lad about 8 or 9 running like a good un down a hill: "Don't go up there mister there are cows loose"

Me: "I'll be fine I ain't afraid of cows"

Lad: "One of them has horns, I think it might be a bull"

Me: "Did you need to go that way to school?" as I point up the hill

Lad: "Yes, I daren't go by them, I'm going home"

Me: Will you go by them if I walk with you?"

Lad: "Yes"

So walked up the hill with him, cows had gone back in the field, lad thanked me, I got on my bike and carried on to work - destroyed my average speed - not

 

[Lullabelle]

First thing this morning I said to the materials manager

Me: so am I booking you a car or van for tomorrow?
MM: how did you know I was going, someone gossiping?
Me: no, I was sat here when you spoke to K****d yesterday and I earwigged.
MM:

 

[JoeyB]

Oncoming cyclist: Dim your light down mate!
Me: ..........[insert tumbleweed graphic].......... (dimmed my light down) (mate)

The End