Give me some dialogue from your day

[Billy Wizz]

The wife..
"Well i don't know about you but it does not feel like xmas".
No dear but my wallet feels it, i couldn't get myself to say that reply.

 

[TVC]

Brother in law: These roasties are really good

Me: Thanks.



As anyone who does the christmas meal knows, getting the roasties right is the most important part

 

[ufkacbln]

At 21:00 my wife rang her mam, one of the first things she said was, "oh you're watching Downton Abbey," I'll go so you can watch it then."

She's still on the phone as I type.

Edit:the phone's now been handed to my daughter, she'll probably get to watch the last five minutes.

MY Sister in Law always waits for Dr Who....

Regardless of whether a special or simply an episode she always phones as the title music starts

 

[Scoosh]

MY Sister in Law always waits for Dr Who....

Regardless of whether a special or simply an episode she always phones as the title music starts

At least you know who it is, so can ignore if you want to !

 

[ufkacbln]

At least you know who it is, so can ignore if you want to !

I can, but the wife won't

The two of them then sit in the corner shouting down the phone

 

[shouldbeinbed]

My mum will tell me to call back and put the phone down if I ring her while Coronation Street is on.

 

[vernon]

Last night at the dining table on the eve of our 28th wedding anniversary

Mrs Vernon: "It's our wedding anniversary tomorrow."
Son number 1: "How long have you been married?"
Me: "Not long enough."
Daughter: Cooing noises
Son number 2: Choking sounds as he tries to suppress laughing at the cheesiness.

 

[Ganymede]

Teenage nephew: we could have a game of cribbage.
Youngest grandson: a game of QUIDDITCH???!!!
Teenage nephew: er, no, cribbage, it's a card game.
Youngest grandson: oh. *they both carry on playing with a robot*

 

[SatNavSaysStraightOn]

Last night at the dining table on the eve of our 28th wedding anniversary

Mrs Vernon: "It's our wedding anniversary tomorrow."
Son number 1: "How long have you been married?"
Me: "Not long enough."
Daughter: Cooing noises
Son number 2: Choking sounds as he tries to suppress laughing at the cheesiness.

It's our 18th anniversary today. Spent the entire day in bed under the duvet!

 

[rvw]

While sorting out the leftovers from the last couple of days, and checking what we are cooking for the next few:

Husband: "It isn't a problem if there's lobster for lunch on Tuesday, is it?"

 

[vernon]

It's our 18th anniversary today. Spent the entire day in bed under the dovet!

Happy anniversary!

 

[SatNavSaysStraightOn]

Happy anniversary!

Through all the drugs and such I am on at the moment, I'm still trying to work out if I should be wishing you happy anniversary for today or for tomorrow... yep my head really is that bad!

I have a feeling it could well be today as well, so rather than be late Happy 28th anniversary to you and Mrs Vernon as well. Do you two ever ask each other how many life sentences you could have served and been out in, in the same time?
I know we always say to people don't get married at Christmas!

 

[welsh dragon]

My grand daughter is her and we are watching ice age 3. The baby mammoth is born.

Me. Blimey its come out all clean and dry, and its crying like a real baby.
GD. And there isn't a biblical cord either.
Me. You mean umbilical cord sweetpea.
GD. But they sound the same don't they?

 

[Speicher]

What film are you watching?

Breadknobs and boobsticks

Me

Beddrobs and booticks

Me Do you mean Breadsticks and Broomknobs?

No, it's Bedclobs and Poohsticks

 

[SatNavSaysStraightOn]

my OH: 3 lesbians
me:
my OH: that's what's needed...
me: needed for what? entertainment this early in the morning?
my OH: what are you going on about?
me (dreams shattered): trying hard to fathom which one of us is taking the drugs here....

I had a dr's appointment and he needed to get me up and ready... he wanted my attention.... he succeeded....