Give me some dialogue from your day
- Thread starter Crackle
- Start date
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SatNavSaysStraightOn
Changed hemispheres!
- Location
- ɐᴉlɐɹʇsn∀ 'ɐɹɹǝquɐƆ
My OH has been away from home for a few days, so hadn't yet seen the wonderful set of bruises on my legs from my slight mishap earlier in the week. Whilst examining them last night he made the remark
OH (rubs hands together in glee): Oh goodie, I can add a few more to them and no-one will ever be any the wiser...
Me: <insert not CC safe words here>
both of us:
OH (rubs hands together in glee): Oh goodie, I can add a few more to them and no-one will ever be any the wiser...
Me: <insert not CC safe words here>
both of us:
gbb
Squire
- Location
- Peterborough
Walking for 2.5 hours yesterday morning round the Fanari peninsula in Kefalonia, from Lassi to Argolstoli..the long route, 30 degrees, along quiet coastal roads and paths, hot in places, shaded in others, very few cars, lovely and quiet.
A car approaches...the window winds down, there are two old greek ladies fiddling with something paper. Aha, they want directions I thought..fat chance I will know, but anyway...
'Ah, you are English ?'
''Yes...'
One starts to pull out a piece of paper, on it I can see a man, a house..and the words..the Truth....
.
'Perhaps you have seen this ?'..she asks
'Errrr, no thanks
'
'Ok, thankyou for your time'...and they drove off.
The wife and i stood there...grinning
Theres no escape from them is there '
Apologies to any Jehovas, nothing personal
Later, we're walking and the wife hears the Titanic song coming from a bar.
'Oh I love that record, one of the girls leaving school sang It at her leaving prom, we were all in tears' she told me quite seriously..
Quick as a flash i replied...
'Was it THAT bad ?'
A quick jab in the ribs followed
A car approaches...the window winds down, there are two old greek ladies fiddling with something paper. Aha, they want directions I thought..fat chance I will know, but anyway...
'Ah, you are English ?'
''Yes...'
One starts to pull out a piece of paper, on it I can see a man, a house..and the words..the Truth....
.'Perhaps you have seen this ?'..she asks
'Errrr, no thanks
''Ok, thankyou for your time'...and they drove off.
The wife and i stood there...grinning
Theres no escape from them is there 'Apologies to any Jehovas, nothing personal
Later, we're walking and the wife hears the Titanic song coming from a bar.
'Oh I love that record, one of the girls leaving school sang It at her leaving prom, we were all in tears' she told me quite seriously..
Quick as a flash i replied...
'Was it THAT bad ?'
A quick jab in the ribs followed
SatNavSaysStraightOn
Changed hemispheres!
- Location
- ɐᴉlɐɹʇsn∀ 'ɐɹɹǝquɐƆ
We are sitting eating our evening meal when suddenly my OH starts looking around the room wilding
OH: it's gone
Me, now wondering what is missing from the room: What has gone
OH: my headache
Me:
Me now putting wife hat one: I'm not sure I can find the old one, but I can give you a new one if you want...
OH:
Me:
OH: it's gone
Me, now wondering what is missing from the room: What has gone
OH: my headache
Me:
Me now putting wife hat one: I'm not sure I can find the old one, but I can give you a new one if you want...
OH:
Me:
gbb
Squire
- Location
- Peterborough
'Why did you stop here ?'...asked the Greek owner of a remote taverna we stopped in, in a tiny village (population 55) on the way to Fiskardo.
I like to do the not so obvious, step out of whats normal, not be a sheep. Many people wont go into an empty taverna, resturaunt where the locals may not even speak English, I like the challenge, the uncertainty..well, its not like going into the bronx..it IS only a taverna.
'I liked the look of the village, the front of your taverna, its real Greek'
'Its very very rare to get any tourists in here'
We ate simply, dry bread, greek salad, lovely local feta, with the burning smell of coffee to ward off the fries and wasps, watched the world go by (about20 cars and a few locals)..chatted with the owners, ate her gorgeous free home made cake she was so keen to offer us, talked about greek recent history, family, life in general.
11 euros..for a georgeous greek salad, bread, drinks, a packet of cigarettes for the wife, free cake and a lovely hour in a lovely location with a really nice greek couple, apparently scratching a living providing a lovely service.
'The tourists don't know what they're missing'
I like to do the not so obvious, step out of whats normal, not be a sheep. Many people wont go into an empty taverna, resturaunt where the locals may not even speak English, I like the challenge, the uncertainty..well, its not like going into the bronx..it IS only a taverna.
'I liked the look of the village, the front of your taverna, its real Greek'
'Its very very rare to get any tourists in here'
We ate simply, dry bread, greek salad, lovely local feta, with the burning smell of coffee to ward off the fries and wasps, watched the world go by (about20 cars and a few locals)..chatted with the owners, ate her gorgeous free home made cake she was so keen to offer us, talked about greek recent history, family, life in general.
11 euros..for a georgeous greek salad, bread, drinks, a packet of cigarettes for the wife, free cake and a lovely hour in a lovely location with a really nice greek couple, apparently scratching a living providing a lovely service.
'The tourists don't know what they're missing'
ring, ring...
me: "Hello"
Cheery chappie: "Who am I speaking too?"
me: What, you called me.
CC: "What's your name"?
Me: "Look, you called me, what do you want?"
cc:"Well it's", some name I forget,"from Radio City and if you'd have answered with"
Me: "Oh FFS!"
brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
me: "Hello"
Cheery chappie: "Who am I speaking too?"
me: What, you called me.
CC: "What's your name"?
Me: "Look, you called me, what do you want?"
cc:"Well it's", some name I forget,"from Radio City and if you'd have answered with"
Me: "Oh FFS!"
brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
ScotiaLass
Guru
- Location
- Middle Earth
Oskar! Leave the laundry alone!!
Oskar! Stop licking my feet!
Oskar! Put that down, it's not your toy!
Oskar is my GSD.
Oskar! Stop licking my feet!
Oskar! Put that down, it's not your toy!
Oskar is my GSD.
ScotiaLass
Guru
- Location
- Middle Earth
Hilarious!!!Background - DD is five. She knows about the TdF jerseys because we live in Yorkshire and they were everywhere a few weeks ago, obviously.
Driving home after dropping OH off at work, we were going slowly up a not-too-steep hill for no apparent reason. As the traffic thinned we could see a cyclist in a polka dot jersey making reasonably heavy weather of the hill.
DD is learning sarcasm:
"Oh. Here he is. King of the Mountains look."
Made me laugh anyway
ScotiaLass
Guru
- Location
- Middle Earth
Reminds me of meeting some chuggers in Glasgow. It's heaving it down and blustery.
Him: Hey there! Would you like to shelter under my umbrella?"
Me: No thanks, I'd rather get wet!
Him: <lost for words>
- Location
- Next door to Mr Benn at No 54
Me to A N Other: You look very puzzled.
A N Other: I am trying to do a risk assessment for the bears parachuting off the tower next week.
Me:
A N Other: I am trying to do a risk assessment for the bears parachuting off the tower next week.
Me:
Took the day off and went to the Zoo with my 3Yr old...
At the Zebra enclosure ...
me - Ahh look at those, aren't they lovely?
3YO - Yes daddy...
me - can you count them, how many are there?
3YO - one, two, three, four, five!
me - did you know there's normally six of them?
3YO - oh...
me - aware of a mother a few yards with her son who is more interested in the conversation i'm having with my 3YO
me - there's only five today, the other one is over there, they are using it to give zebra rides...
mother - interrupting... oh, oh really! fantastic! do you know how much? I'd love him to have a ride on a Zebra, do you want to go on a Zebra Jake? do you? c'mon lets go and have a ride on the Zebras. drags kid off in a panic she may be missing out on something...
Honestly some people!
At the Zebra enclosure ...
me - Ahh look at those, aren't they lovely?
3YO - Yes daddy...
me - can you count them, how many are there?
3YO - one, two, three, four, five!
me - did you know there's normally six of them?
3YO - oh...
me - aware of a mother a few yards with her son who is more interested in the conversation i'm having with my 3YO
me - there's only five today, the other one is over there, they are using it to give zebra rides...
mother - interrupting... oh, oh really! fantastic! do you know how much? I'd love him to have a ride on a Zebra, do you want to go on a Zebra Jake? do you? c'mon lets go and have a ride on the Zebras. drags kid off in a panic she may be missing out on something...
Honestly some people!
MossCommuter
Guru
- Location
- Salford
Man 1 : Hhhhmm, I have a bit of indigestion
Man 2 : You wanna watch that; it can be dangerous that indigestion can. My mate had indigestion once... turned out to be a duodenal ulcer and it nearly killed him
Man 2 : You wanna watch that; it can be dangerous that indigestion can. My mate had indigestion once... turned out to be a duodenal ulcer and it nearly killed him
- Location
- Egham
Familiar with that, though here it's Ridley (shepherd/lurcher cross) & Scruffy (collie/lurcher/terrier cross). If your not quite quick enough then whatever they've stolen will be found shredded down the garden.
Lullabelle
Banana
- Location
- Midlands UK
We were at a garden centre today and we saw 3 orangey coloured orchids
Me: oohh look a colour I don't have
TVC: how many do you have?
Me: erm.. 10
We carried on walking around a while then TVC picked up a clear plastic tray, the best looking orange orchid they had and bought it
Me: oh thank you
TVC: well, 1 of them was going to come home with us anyway
Me:
TVC
Me: oohh look a colour I don't have
TVC: how many do you have?
Me: erm.. 10
We carried on walking around a while then TVC picked up a clear plastic tray, the best looking orange orchid they had and bought it
Me: oh thank you
TVC: well, 1 of them was going to come home with us anyway
Me:
TVC
