Give me some dialogue from your day

[ScotiaLass]

Not exactly my conversation but overheard.
I was in the bathroom getting ready to go out to town and heard this...

Son: Have you killed it?
Hubby: Yes, it's dead!
Son: Have you moved the body?
Hubby: No, but I've hidden it for now, so you won't see it
Son: Where is it?
Hubby: Behind the curtain
Son: Ok, as long as I don't see it....
<sounds of son running past the 'burial' spot>

Ah the joys of summer time and a son with Autism and a morbid fear of anything that flies, crawls, buzzes or swoops lol

 

[ScotiaLass]

Familiar with that, though here it's Ridley (shepherd/lurcher cross) & Scruffy (collie/lurcher/terrier cross). If your not quite quick enough then whatever they've stolen will be found shredded down the garden.

Oskar takes things to his crate. He'll chew on socks for a bit then just cuddle them lol
A German with a foot fetish! lol

 

[GrasB]

Training advisor: So there's still a lot in the transferable skills training budget. Any ideas on courses you want to go on?
Me (without hesitation): Rock climbing.
Training advisor: Seriously, it needs to be relevant to your work
Me: Rock climbing is relevant. Just look at how to access the shelving in the store room *points to a door*
Training advisor: *pops head in door* Ah... I see... this might be difficult to pass the HSO.

The TA has just seen the most chaotic store room in the history of man & realised that you really do need mountain climbing experience to get to the top shelves.

 

[pplpilot]

Packing my overnight bag for yet another work trip, opening and closing the drawers in the bedroom looking for my hair clippers charger...

Mrs pplpilot - What you looking for?

Me - A spare pack of Condoms, just one will do, think it'll be a quiet trip...

Mrs pplpilot - you really are such a self-gratification artist, I really do not know what I see in you.

Me -

Mrs pplpilot - Its a good job I know you...

Me - you know id never cheat. You're the only one for me...

Mrs pplpilot - No other woman would want or have you, I just took pity on you.

Me -

 

[Octet]

A German with a foot fetish! lol

Reminds me of that one time I was in..... nevermind...

 

[ScotiaLass]

My 13yr old (almost 14) with Aspergers, went into town today to meet S, his new 'girlfriend':

Him: Mum?
Me: Yes?
Him: Are all girls clingy?
Me: Well, it depends what you mean by 'clingy'?
Him: Well S kept wanting to hold my hand today
Me: Well she probably just likes you!
Him: Oh. I didn't think of that.
<pause>
Him: Well as long as she doesn't want to do anything else because I'm not that sort of boy!

Luckily for me he left the room at this point as I was trying so hard not to laugh.
Bless. Social skills aren't his strong point!

 

[pplpilot]

My 13yr old (almost 14) with Aspergers, went into town today to meet S, his new 'girlfriend':

Him: Mum?
Me: Yes?
Him: Are all girls clingy?
Me: Well, it depends what you mean by 'clingy'?
Him: Well S kept wanting to hold my hand today
Me: Well she probably just likes you!
Him: Oh. I didn't think of that.
<pause>
Him: Well as long as she doesn't want to do anything else because I'm not that sort of boy!

Luckily for me he left the room at this point as I was trying so hard not to laugh.
Bless. Social skills aren't his strong point!

I would say social skills are his strong point!

 

[SatNavSaysStraightOn]

History: My OH dried and packed away the larger of our 2 cycle touring tents whilst I was returning on my last tour...
Today we are packing for an overnight shake down tour to shake him down by his neck prior to our summer holiday tour in 2 weeks time. He has decided we are camping in the bigger one tomorrow night.

Me: so when you packed away the tent, you put the pegs and the poles in the bag?
OH: yes
Me: positive?
Him: yes, absolutely, 100%
Me: totally?
Him: YES
Me: Good, I guess this set of poles and pegs are not needed them (handing them to him)...
Him: oh, now that would have been embarrassing
Me: tis a good thing I don't trust you!

5 minutes later, I find the poles are still upstairs on the landing - after handing them to him, he promptly put them down again

Married life after 17 years... seriously good thing I don't trust him that far....

 

[jongooligan]

OK, not from my day but from my daughter's return from a debauched night out with her home town uni pals yesterday.

UCL student to taxi driver, "What's the furthest you've been asked to drive?"
Taxi driver, "Torquay"
UCL student, "Wow. Can you even drive a taxi there?"
Taxi driver, "Do you know where Torquay is?"
UCL student, "Isn't Torquay the Turkish word for Turkey?"

 

[welsh dragon]

OK, not from my day but from my daughter's return from a debauched night out with her home town uni pals yesterday.

UCL student to taxi driver, "What's the furthest you've been asked to drive?"
Taxi driver, "Torquay"
UCL student, "Wow. Can you even drive a taxi there?"
Taxi driver, "Do you know where Torquay is?"
UCL student, "Isn't Torquay the Turkish word for Turkey?"

University. Great places of learning, but only for some people obviously.

 

[stephec]

OK, not from my day but from my daughter's return from a debauched night out with her home town uni pals yesterday.

UCL student to taxi driver, "What's the furthest you've been asked to drive?"
Taxi driver, "Torquay"
UCL student, "Wow. Can you even drive a taxi there?"
Taxi driver, "Do you know where Torquay is?"
UCL student, "Isn't Torquay the Turkish word for Turkey?"

Not a geography student then?

 

[Ganymede]

Best ever compliment ever ever today.

Director: OK that's it for today
Fight director: *give me a big hug and kiss*: Brilliant day. Well done. You're a.... you're a warrior!

Me:

 

[Elybazza61]

Overheard this on Saturday as the club group was heading towards our coffee stop in St Ives(the Cambs one)

"It's a bit late for The Tour De France isn't it"

 

[Ganymede]

"Your hair's still full of blood and we haven't got a towel"
"It'll be all right, I'll put my head under the tap and you spoon the water over with your hands"
"ok - and I found some industrial-sized loo roll"

The joys of fake theatrical effects and primitive dressing rooms...

 

[Speicher]

Me: (today) That will be the responsibility of the Self and Hafstey Executive.