Give me some dialogue from your day

[Moon bunny]

Hover fly was searching his workbench, drawing board, the boat and just about everywhere
HF to boss "When's your birthday *boss*?"
Boss "XX September"
HF "So there's plenty of time to save up and buy you a pencil." as he snatches the elusive object from the boss's bench.

 

[Octet]

'Hi Col, how do you feel today ?'
'A bit wobbly, but ok, a thousand times better than yesterday'

Woke up at 3am Monday morning, nauseous, hot, headachy.
Went to work..decided a steady day was in order but it was just too much, everything was hard work. Went home at 11am and didnt get out of bed till 5am this morning, barring the loo and bathroom. One banana and a slice of toast was all I ate all day...the aches and discomfort were never ending.
This morning was a bit tiring, but picked up through the day.
Ive either eaten something dodgy or it was a 24 hour flu / virus.

I've had that today as well, and someone at work had it yesterday, I think something must be going around.

 

[robjh]

Playing a quiz game last night, a card came up with the theme of 'Religion', and the answer to one question was the Roman goddess Venus.

Sister-in-law 2 declared 'But I didn't think gods were classed as religion!'

 

[ThinAir]

"What country were those Chinese cockle pickers from"!??

 

[perplexed]

Old lass: ' 'e were from that place, tha' knows...'

Me: Where was that then?'

OL: 'It began we an 'E'...'

Me: 'Er, Eastbourne, Esher, Eastleigh, Edinburg,...'

OL: Neyow, don't be daft, it were Scunthorpe...'

 

[MikeG]

Me: "Morning, just ringing to tell you that we are moving to the next village on Thursday"

Direct Line: "It will cost you £15.62 to amend your address on the policy".

 

[luckyfox]

I would love to, but i work in the naughty sounding world of hydraulics most days and well...

D*ck: I need to return this f*an*e for some greasy n*pp**s so i can get my hose in tight.

 

[Ganymede]

Scene: our house, the appointed time to leave for a party
Time: yesterday

Me (slipping arms into jacket and jingling keys): Are you ready to go?
Mr G (from behind the bog door): Yes I'm ready!
Me: great I'll get the car started
Mr G emerges from the bogotorium stark bellend naked
Mr G:... yeah, I've just got to shave and put my clothes on.
Me:

I wouldn't mind but this is about the 12th time this has happened in recent weeks. I've worked out from subsequent carefully worded conversations that what he actually means is that he's finished his emails.

 

[Moon bunny]

In a café at mid-day, the young mother sat next to us was reading a Dr. Seuss book to her son:
"Mr. Brown can moo like a cow, he goes 'moo moo'" to son "Can you make a noise like a cow?"
Boss cups his hands over his mouth "MOOo MOOOoo MOOOOoooo!" a very realistic and loud cattle noise.
Mother
Young son
Everyone else in the café
Boss to young mother, "I'm so sorry, I thought you were talking to me".

 

[Speicher]

In a café at mid-day, the young mother sat next to us was reading a Dr. Seuss book to her son:
"Mr. Brown can moo like a cow, he goes 'moo moo'" to son "Can you make a noise like a cow?"
Boss cups his hands over his mouth "MOOo MOOOoo MOOOOoooo!" a very realistic and loud cattle noise.
Mother
Young son
Everyone else in the café
Boss to young mother, "I'm so sorry, I thought you were talking to me".

Thank you for that, Mooooo Bunny.

 

[swee'pea99]

In a café at mid-day, the young mother sat next to us was reading a Dr. Seuss book to her son:
"Mr. Brown can moo like a cow, he goes 'moo moo'" to son "Can you make a noise like a cow?"
Boss cups his hands over his mouth "MOOo MOOOoo MOOOOoooo!" a very realistic and loud cattle noise.
Mother
Young son
Everyone else in the café
Boss to young mother, "I'm so sorry, I thought you were talking to me".

You've just reminded me of one of my dad's favourite anecdotes, about the time he picked up the phone to find himself on a crossed line (younger viewers may not understand this term, but in the old days, every now & then you'd find yourself listening to someone else's call) in which a very serious, borderline aggressive, guy in New York was bawling out some hapless subordinate who'd apparently screwed up in London.

Now even then crossed lines were rare; transatlantic ones rarer still, so my dad took the opportunity to listen in for a couple of minutes, as the NY guy got more and more irate. Then my dad's eyes lit upon something on his desk...a toy someone had given him: one of those little cardboard barrels, with cows printed round it, which, turned upside down and then back again, made a very convincing moo. He held it close to his mouthpiece, waited for a brief pause in the onslaught, and turned it over. There was a lengthy 'Moooooooooo', followed by a stunned two second silence, followed by Mr NY: "What the hell was that?" Which is when my dad put the phone down and got back to work.

 

[GrasB]

...
Her (glaring at a single woman who's the centre of all male attention & feeling a little down): I wish I had a body like hers.
Me: Why? You're more attractive.
Her: But, she's...
Me: Enhanced! You're natural.
Her: OH!
Me: Ergo, you're more attractive
Her: It's a matter of perspective.
Me: And mine is correct
Her:
...

 

[gbb]

I walk into the office...
'Ahh, Colin, you're with me tomorrow, HACCP course'
'Lovely...'

Later..another manager...
'Have you Installed the network cables In the new offices ?'
'Errrr no, im not aware i was asked for any, i dont remember anyone asking, if they did, itd have been a passing comment on it, not a direct request'
'Ok, blah blahs not very happy its not been done yet, ill let them know its not been asked for, not to the right people anyway'
'No problem, ill get a roll of Cat5e in, it'll be done by tomorrow'
...and it was.
Ask, and ye shalt recieve.

 

[gbb]

Me to citizens adviise lady..."Good morning"
Her.." Wow! we don't get many like you in here"

Okaaaay...

I arrived at the post office counter some weeks ago, behind the screen Is, by local repute, a right miserable old cow Her reputation is renowned locally, if its true, I dont know how she gets away with it.. Personally I take people as I find them and always start off on a good foot..if they then brush that aside, my minds made up.
Me, cheerily to PO lady..
'Good morning, can I have blah blah please'

She looked up, seemingly surprised...Then smiled...
' Good morning to you..'..and proceeded to serve me with plenty of light hearted chat.

Everyone deserves respect until they give you reason not to.

 

[gbb]

HACCP course today.
The tutor is explaining how bacteria in food isnt neccessariky a bad thing and how some bacteria can badly effect one person...yet leave another unaffected.
I chimed in, looking directly at Osama, a lovely Egyptian fella who lived a few miles away from Kafr Al Zaiat, a town I worked in a few years ago, where I aquired a terrible bout of stomach trouble....
'Yeah thats true, the food Ossama thinks is normal , you should see what it did to me .
Raucous laughter followed, thankfully Osama has a sense of humour.

Later, ive got home from work, 10 hour shift, im talking to my son..
'Ok, just going to wash the car and Kevs (my other son) van, grab some tea then I will look at your scooter' (lighting problems)
'Cheers dad , although i dont know how you do it, dont you ever stop ?'

Apparently not...it doesnt mean im not tired mind