Give me some dialogue from your day

Page may contain affiliate links. Please see terms for details.

gbb

Squire
Location
Peterborough
Me to mum (84 years old)
'Mum. don't worry, its the right thing to do, no need for embarrassment, we'd have been upset if you hadn't rang for help'

Dad is blind, 84 and increasingly frail, almost bedridden. He struggles like hell when he goes to the loo...and today couldn't get off :sad:. Mums ok, but she can't lift him..i knew it would come, we'd have to overcome embarrassment, MTFU and make sure he retained some dignity.
Poor dad, a once proud, fit man, reduced to a shadow of his former self.
He's my dad..i'd do anything for him.
 

Ganymede

Veteran
Location
Rural Kent
Me to mum (84 years old)
'Mum. don't worry, its the right thing to do, no need for embarrassment, we'd have been upset if you hadn't rang for help'

Dad is blind, 84 and increasingly frail, almost bedridden. He struggles like hell when he goes to the loo...and today couldn't get off :sad:. Mums ok, but she can't lift him..i knew it would come, we'd have to overcome embarrassment, MTFU and make sure he retained some dignity.
Poor dad, a once proud, fit man, reduced to a shadow of his former self.
He's my dad..i'd do anything for him.
:hugs:
 

stephec

Squire
Location
Bolton
Major disaster in our house today.

Lad comes down from his bedroom and goes into the kitchen, then straight back out.

I want a drink, but there are no glasses clean.
That's because they're all in the dishwasher.
What am I going to do, I want a drink?
Guess?
I don't know.
I'll give you five minutes to think about it, then I'll tell you.

A few minutes later I hear the sound of a tap running and a noise that sounds like a glass being washed.

FFS!
 
OP
OP
C

Crackle

..
The Open is on down the road. I've come in from walking the dog.

Me: I've come up with some golf dog jokes.
Son2: suspiciously, oh yeah
Me: I thought the dog wpuld be no good as a caddy but he'd be quite good at finding the ball in the, ruff!
Son2: Really dad, said disparagingly
Me: How many legs does a dog have?
Son2: Four
Me: Four, fore! Gettit?
Son2: That's not even funny

I tried them out later on son1, to a similar reception.
 

welsh dragon

Thanks but no thanks. I think I'll pass.
I had a house full of grandsons today.

My son arrives to pick my twin grandsons up. Somehow over a cup of coffee the conversation turns to words that they shouldn't say, and words that they think they made up, but which are in fact words that have been in use for decades.

grandson number 4 "I know what a male prostitute is called." He is 12.

son, Mr WD and I look at each other.

"Oh yes " I say.

"Yes " says grandson. " a male prostitute is called a jiggler".

Me falling on the floor with tears rolling down my face and every one else howling with laughter.

" I think you mean a gigolo sweetpea"

"Oh" says grandson." Maybe I did get it wrong".
 

Profpointy

Legendary Member
Bus driver returning from London last week.

"You've all got to put your seat belts on as it's a legal requirment, and anyway I'm a really bad driver and this is my first day, so I'll probably have to brake really suddenly or crash." He then added "no air conditioning as the company have told us to turn it off to save money; I'll turn it on if you give me a fiver." And so on. it really brightened up an otherwise tedious journey. i think most of the other passengers were a bit po-faced, but it made my day.
 
Last edited:

stephec

Squire
Location
Bolton
I had a house full of grandsons today.

My son arrives to pick my twin grandsons up. Somehow over a cup of coffee the conversation turns to words that they shouldn't say, and words that they think they made up, but which are in fact words that have been in use for decades.

grandson number 4 "I know what a male prostitute is called." He is 12.

son, Mr WD and I look at each other.

"Oh yes " I say.

"Yes " says grandson. " a male prostitute is called a jiggler".

Me falling on the floor with tears rolling down my face and every one else howling with laughter.

" I think you mean a gigolo sweetpea"

"Oh" says grandson." Maybe I did get it wrong".


Just wait while he goes into school and his teacher overhears him telling everyone, "my granny knows a male prostitute." :biggrin:
 

stephec

Squire
Location
Bolton
I hadn't thought of that. To be honest I couldn't stop crying with laughter. Oh well, what the hell eh? Who cares. :laugh: . It may well enhance my street cred.:laugh:

Even more than being a dungeon mistress?
 
I had 2 bit of dialogue today that had me laughing.

I've just tried on my new assos cycling shorts (with knickers underneath) to see if they fit and if where the elastic is will work with the bad scar on my leg...
Me: you can beat my ass as hard as you want now...
OH: I don't want to damage the merchandise
Me: :blush: :laugh:
Me scarpering quickly upstairs: I think they should be OK over the leg...


Later on in the day
Me: I'm chasing a greenfinch down the road
OH: sorry?
Me: I'm chasing a greenfinch down the road
OH: that's better....
Me: What do you think I said?
OH: that you were chasing dolphins down the road
Me: :surrender:
OH (in his tiny teeny pathetic voice): love you
 

Octet

Veteran
Whilst emptying the washing machine this morning:

Me: Aaaarrrgggghhhhhhh
Hubster: What
Me: I washed my iPod :cry::cry:

:hugs:

Don't worry, would it make you feel better if I told you I've destroyed two phones in the sea in the past two months?
Is your music collection/data backed up?
 

Saluki

World class procrastinator
:hugs:

Don't worry, would it make you feel better if I told you I've destroyed two phones in the sea in the past two months?
Is your music collection/data backed up?
My back ups are all on CD in my CD collection ^_^ Everything is also on iTunes on the laptop. I shall wander down to CEX tomorrow and fork out for a new one. My phone has music on it but playing it really hammers the battery.
 

Lullabelle

Banana
Location
Midlands UK
I have had enough of this weather, hot, cranky, lack of sleep is leaving me feeling really :cursing::cursing:

Actually this was in my head but it is now out in the open. I know sunny weather is a good thing but there has been no let up, all I ask for is a downpour and cooler weather.
 
Top Bottom