Give me some dialogue from your day
- Thread starter Crackle
- Start date
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Chromatic
Legendary Member
- Location
- Gloucestershire
Well, does it?
Apparently if you've not had a reply then who knows?
Lullabelle
Banana
- Location
- Midlands UK
This morning at work
The materials manager: we have visitors today
Me: yes, 10.30, the coffee pot is set up ready
The MM: how much notice do we need to order lunch?
Me: 24 hours
The MM: oh, not 2 then
Me: no
The MM: pizza hut it is then
Good job I didn't order, they cancelled last minute.
The office staff all had fresh coffee.
The materials manager: we have visitors today
Me: yes, 10.30, the coffee pot is set up ready
The MM: how much notice do we need to order lunch?
Me: 24 hours
The MM: oh, not 2 then
Me: no
The MM: pizza hut it is then
Good job I didn't order, they cancelled last minute.
The office staff all had fresh coffee.
gbb
Squire
- Location
- Peterborough
A meandeeing discussion evolved at work as we cleaned up in the workshop.
Me....
'Yuk, I just got covered in cobwebs'
Colleague..
'How did it get there ?'
'Well, if im honest, I don't know how they do it, a strand of web from one point to another...does the spider get carried on the wind and leave its web as it goes, or do they shoot out the web and it gets carried to another point'
'Wha ???, how does a spider fly through the air and land where he wants to ?...said my colleague with incredularity
''He doesnt pick his spot ya pillock, he cant aim, he just goes where the wind takes him...and that might be bollix anyway, I dont actually know how they do it'
'Nah' he replies, pointing to a spot on the wall,'he's here, walks to that point there (moving his finger to a spot 3 feet away)..and leaves his trail of web'
Me, incredulously...
'What !!!..thats a flat surface, what about when hes in a bush and travels to the next bush ?...whaddya think he does, walks down to the ground, leaving his web as he goes, climbs up the next bush, fixes his web then pulls it taught'
'No of course not, but they cant frikkin fly like you said'
Me, now sarcastically and with humour..
'Of course they can, spiderman can
'
Colleague..
'You t×××, spidermans not real '
Me, with mock shock ...
'WHAT !!!!!, of course he Is'
Stupity often prevails
Me....
'Yuk, I just got covered in cobwebs'
Colleague..
'How did it get there ?'
'Well, if im honest, I don't know how they do it, a strand of web from one point to another...does the spider get carried on the wind and leave its web as it goes, or do they shoot out the web and it gets carried to another point'
'Wha ???, how does a spider fly through the air and land where he wants to ?...said my colleague with incredularity
''He doesnt pick his spot ya pillock, he cant aim, he just goes where the wind takes him...and that might be bollix anyway, I dont actually know how they do it'
'Nah' he replies, pointing to a spot on the wall,'he's here, walks to that point there (moving his finger to a spot 3 feet away)..and leaves his trail of web'
Me, incredulously...
'What !!!..thats a flat surface, what about when hes in a bush and travels to the next bush ?...whaddya think he does, walks down to the ground, leaving his web as he goes, climbs up the next bush, fixes his web then pulls it taught'
'No of course not, but they cant frikkin fly like you said'
Me, now sarcastically and with humour..
'Of course they can, spiderman can
'Colleague..
'You t×××, spidermans not real 'Me, with mock shock ...
'WHAT !!!!!, of course he Is'Stupity often prevails
gbb
Squire
- Location
- Peterborough
Me to self, as I carefully drained the excess watery fluid off my natural live youghurt..into the sink..
'Sod it
'......as half the contents of the large pot plopped out and into the sink...
'Sod it
'......as half the contents of the large pot plopped out and into the sink...
- Location
- Next door to Mr Benn at No 54
A N Other: What is a dockle veller?
Me: A what?
A N Other: on the back of that van it says dockle veller
Me:
You mean that blue van, with Dock leveller on it.
Me: A what?
A N Other: on the back of that van it says dockle veller
Me:
You mean that blue van, with Dock leveller on it.
Dave 123
Legendary Member
- Location
- Cambridgeshire alps
Mrs Dave- That Croatia team are good...
Me- so are Costa Rica
Mrs Dave- oh, are they not Croatia then?
And that's why I love her!
Me- so are Costa Rica
Mrs Dave- oh, are they not Croatia then?
And that's why I love her!
John the Monkey
Frivolous Cyclist
- Location
- Crewe
Train platform again:
Man: So, that rain eh?
Cyclist: (Brightly) Well, it's not as bad as it looks, haha.
Man: But it's pretty bad?
Cyclist: (Sadly) Yeah.
Man: So, that rain eh?
Cyclist: (Brightly) Well, it's not as bad as it looks, haha.
Man: But it's pretty bad?
Cyclist: (Sadly) Yeah.
Ganymede
Veteran
- Location
- Rural Kent
Two young workmen outside my kitchen door, fixing the chimney, one of them up the scaffolding. I overhear:
YM1 (from the ground): I mean it really is very dangerous
YM2: what you mean, like being up here..
YM1: ... yeah, cos if you fell from there you'd be, like..
YM2: ... yeah, you'd be creamed all over the patio
YM1: Yeah.
Me: *refrains from going outside for the rest of the time that they are there*
YM1 (from the ground): I mean it really is very dangerous
YM2: what you mean, like being up here..
YM1: ... yeah, cos if you fell from there you'd be, like..
YM2: ... yeah, you'd be creamed all over the patio
YM1: Yeah.
Me: *refrains from going outside for the rest of the time that they are there*
welsh dragon
Thanks but no thanks. I think I'll pass.
We went shopping the other day and on the way back Mr WD shut his eyes and fell asleep.
As we pulled onto the drive Mr WD opened his eyes.
Me "oh, you're awake".
MR WD "I wasn't asleep".
ME " Yes you were, your eyes were closed".
Mr WD " its always best if I keep my eyes well and truly closed whenever your driving".
As we pulled onto the drive Mr WD opened his eyes.
Me "oh, you're awake".
MR WD "I wasn't asleep".
ME " Yes you were, your eyes were closed".
Mr WD " its always best if I keep my eyes well and truly closed whenever your driving".
welsh dragon
Thanks but no thanks. I think I'll pass.
Mr WD sounds like a clever bloke.
Mr WD obviously doesn't value his testicles very much.
