jayonabike
Powered by caffeine & whisky
- Location
- Hertfordshire
Me: Hello Rosie
Rosie: ........
(Rosie is a dog, she can't speak)
Rosie: ........
(Rosie is a dog, she can't speak)
Give me some dialogue from your day
- Thread starter Crackle
- Start date
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subaqua
What’s the point
- Location
- Leytonstone
at the risk of being a bit insensitive, did he train on the costa concordia ? just got into work and have similar for gas alarms in the plant room.
BMS guys say its because its not commisioned . I have just asked them how can they be sure and they have just turned a funny shade of white, along with the Mech engineer.
BA procedures just about to be tested by them .
snorri
Legendary Member
- Location
- East coast, up a bit.
Part of the problem is the fact that the vessel concerned was built long long before the Costa Concordia.
. I was content that the problems were caused by the monitoring systems giving false indications .
threebikesmcginty
Corn Fed Hick...
- Location
- ...on the slake
We do a non-Henry version of that too. Everyday. At least once.
subaqua
What’s the point
- Location
- Leytonstone
BigonaBianchi
Yes I can, Yes I am, Yes I did...Repeat.
- Location
- Iskele TRNC & Mordor UK
me on hack bike behind car that was trying to get through gap between illegally parked lorry and illegally parked cars.
"Whoooooooooahhhh..stooooooooooop!"
(Moron has slammed car into reverse and hit the accelerator narrowly missing me by mm's as I thump my fist on his rear window.
Winds down window as I knock on it.
" sorry mate it's not my fault the gap is to small"
Me
" but i tis totally your fault that you chose not to look in your mirror before reversing like that"
Him
" Id id look in my mirror"
Me
" and you still did that??!"
Him
" how else am I going to get through?"
Me
" You need to leave my life now"
Him
" really sorry mate"
Me
" you saw me and you still did it..would you have done that if I had been a car?"
Him
"No"
Me
"ARSE"
"Whoooooooooahhhh..stooooooooooop!"
(Moron has slammed car into reverse and hit the accelerator narrowly missing me by mm's as I thump my fist on his rear window.
Winds down window as I knock on it.
" sorry mate it's not my fault the gap is to small"
Me
" but i tis totally your fault that you chose not to look in your mirror before reversing like that"
Him
" Id id look in my mirror"
Me
" and you still did that??!"
Him
" how else am I going to get through?"
Me
" You need to leave my life now"
Him
" really sorry mate"
Me
" you saw me and you still did it..would you have done that if I had been a car?"
Him
"No"
Me
"ARSE"
GrasB
Veteran
- Location
- Nr Cambridge
"With that performance he's broken the class 2 lap record along with the altitude record for non-winged aircraft"
A certain lotus owning lunatic worked out that if he pinned the throttle from the apex of the penultimate turn he'd probably make it through the finishing cones but the car would disappear off into the grassy area of infield. What he hadn't realised is the car would cross what remained of an an old service road or standing area at well over 100mph... cue the car being launched about 3 meters into the air
A certain lotus owning lunatic worked out that if he pinned the throttle from the apex of the penultimate turn he'd probably make it through the finishing cones but the car would disappear off into the grassy area of infield. What he hadn't realised is the car would cross what remained of an an old service road or standing area at well over 100mph... cue the car being launched about 3 meters into the air
gbb
Squire
- Location
- Peterborough
Stood in canteen at work, lorry driver walks in and gets a coffee...we're both pre-occupied with our phones.
Driver..'bloody useless phone, i'm charging it every few hours'
Me......'battery cream crackered then, bugger'
Driver..'Yeah, the police have my contract one, they confiscated it with a load of my other stuff'
Me......'Oh, i won't ask why'
He then elaborated about many charges (exactly what he didnt say) all of which he was innocent of, and that he ran a small funfair in Nottingham etc etc etc.
Why me ???
Driver..'bloody useless phone, i'm charging it every few hours'
Me......'battery cream crackered then, bugger'
Driver..'Yeah, the police have my contract one, they confiscated it with a load of my other stuff'
Me......'Oh, i won't ask why'
He then elaborated about many charges (exactly what he didnt say) all of which he was innocent of, and that he ran a small funfair in Nottingham etc etc etc.
Why me ???
threebikesmcginty
Corn Fed Hick...
- Location
- ...on the slake
[QUOTE 1690675, member: 45"][on the telephone]
"Hi, I'm just ringing to confirm my visit this morning to talk about us selling your house"
"Yup, 10:30"
"Lovely. What kind of price were you looking for for the property?"
"You're the estate agent. It's your job to advise me"
[later, in the house]
"So, what kind of price were you looking for for the property?"
"You're the estate agent, you tell me."
"Have you had any other agents round?"
"Yup."
"And what did they value the property at?"
"Why don't you tell me what you think and I'll tell you how they compare?"
"Well.......<marketing waffle>......I'd advise you to put it on the market at x"
"Well I can definitely tell you that that's way below the value that the other two agents suggested"
3 days later the confirmation letter comes, with £10k added to the valuation.[/quote]
You'd think those trailer park homes just had a book price!
"Hi, I'm just ringing to confirm my visit this morning to talk about us selling your house"
"Yup, 10:30"
"Lovely. What kind of price were you looking for for the property?"
"You're the estate agent. It's your job to advise me"
[later, in the house]
"So, what kind of price were you looking for for the property?"
"You're the estate agent, you tell me."
"Have you had any other agents round?"
"Yup."
"And what did they value the property at?"
"Why don't you tell me what you think and I'll tell you how they compare?"
"Well.......<marketing waffle>......I'd advise you to put it on the market at x"
"Well I can definitely tell you that that's way below the value that the other two agents suggested"
3 days later the confirmation letter comes, with £10k added to the valuation.[/quote]
You'd think those trailer park homes just had a book price!
Matthew_T
"Young and Ex-whippet"
- Location
- Prestatyn, North Wales
[QUOTE 1690675, member: 45"][on the telephone]
"Hi, I'm just ringing to confirm my visit this morning to talk about us selling your house"
"Yup, 10:30"
"Lovely. What kind of price were you looking for for the property?"
"You're the estate agent. It's your job to advise me"
[later, in the house]
"So, what kind of price were you looking for for the property?"
"You're the estate agent, you tell me."
"Have you had any other agents round?"
"Yup."
"And what did they value the property at?"
"Why don't you tell me what you think and I'll tell you how they compare?"
"Well.......<marketing waffle>......I'd advise you to put it on the market at x"
"Well I can definitely tell you that that's way below the value that the other two agents suggested"
3 days later the confirmation letter comes, with £10k added to the valuation.[/quote]
You've gotta love how easy people make money. They just slapped another 10k on the price for the sake of it.
"Hi, I'm just ringing to confirm my visit this morning to talk about us selling your house"
"Yup, 10:30"
"Lovely. What kind of price were you looking for for the property?"
"You're the estate agent. It's your job to advise me"
[later, in the house]
"So, what kind of price were you looking for for the property?"
"You're the estate agent, you tell me."
"Have you had any other agents round?"
"Yup."
"And what did they value the property at?"
"Why don't you tell me what you think and I'll tell you how they compare?"
"Well.......<marketing waffle>......I'd advise you to put it on the market at x"
"Well I can definitely tell you that that's way below the value that the other two agents suggested"
3 days later the confirmation letter comes, with £10k added to the valuation.[/quote]
You've gotta love how easy people make money. They just slapped another 10k on the price for the sake of it.
Archie_tect
De Skieven Architek... aka Penfold + Horace
- Location
- Northumberland
They only make money when a buyer completes... it's in his interests to keep the price at a level that ensures a reasonablly quick sale for the best price they can squeeze out of the people looking.
Better to have 2 or 3 buyers starting at a low valuation and bidding each other up rather than no offers at all on a daft high price....
You don't need any experience, knowledge or any qualifications to do that.... so why not do it yourself Mr P and save yourself 1 to 1.5% selling fees?
Sorry M_T distracted me from OT.... as you were.
Better to have 2 or 3 buyers starting at a low valuation and bidding each other up rather than no offers at all on a daft high price....
You don't need any experience, knowledge or any qualifications to do that.... so why not do it yourself Mr P and save yourself 1 to 1.5% selling fees?
Sorry M_T distracted me from OT.... as you were.
I'm With Stupid
Active Member
- Location
- HCMC Vietnam
Friend: "What would you do with it?"
Me: "I'd donate it to a church for a laugh."
Me: "I'd donate it to a church for a laugh."
slowmotion
Quite dreadful
- Location
- lost somewhere
I was about to turn into Cromwell Road, London, westbound from a side turning this evening. I know the junction well. The traffic light sequence is a bit wonky. It goes red on the main road at the same time as it goes amber on the side turning so quick starts are not a good idea. Tonight, a stretch limo thundered down the main road a good three seconds after my green light. For some reason I felt the need to let off steam and drew along side when I caught him at the next set of red lights.
Me: "Don't jump red lights, you stupid prat"
Driver: "I couldn't stop"
Off we both went, and he came alongside
Driver:"It's a stretch Hummer. I can't stop"
Me:"Maybe you should learn to, peanut"
It's the first time I have done that verbal stuff and I'm not particularly proud. At the time, it was quite fun!
Me: "Don't jump red lights, you stupid prat"
Driver: "I couldn't stop"
Off we both went, and he came alongside
Driver:"It's a stretch Hummer. I can't stop"
Me:"Maybe you should learn to, peanut"
It's the first time I have done that verbal stuff and I'm not particularly proud. At the time, it was quite fun!
coffeejo
Ælfrēd
- Location
- West Somerset
It was our cycle group's annual dinner last night and before the meal I cycled the six and half miles to a friend and fellow club member's house to change into something vaguely smart...
Friend: Gosh, you look smart.
Me: Remember the joke I made this morning about wearing my cycling shorts under these trousers as they do quite a good job of holding everything in?
Friend: Yes...?
Me: Well, guess what I forgot to pack before I left the house
Friend: So you're...
Me: Yes.
Friend: At least you're guaranteed a comfy seat
Friend: Gosh, you look smart.
Me: Remember the joke I made this morning about wearing my cycling shorts under these trousers as they do quite a good job of holding everything in?
Friend: Yes...?
Me: Well, guess what I forgot to pack before I left the house
Friend: So you're...
Me: Yes.
Friend: At least you're guaranteed a comfy seat
threebikesmcginty
Corn Fed Hick...
- Location
- ...on the slake
We sold a house last year without agents - was so nice not to have those b'stards mucking around in what should be a fairly straightforward transaction.
