Give me some dialogue from your day

[perplexed]

There are sadly a surprising number of people who can't read, but manage to hide that fact. Unlikely that they'd get a job as a delivery driver but stranger things have happened...

Most of them appear to be employed as postmen round here. We and the neighbours end up re-distributing the post a few times a month...

 

[Scoosh]

"I don't think I have jumped off a bus when it is moving for more than 20 years, I might have forgotten how to."

"Go on, you'll be fine."

... how did it end ????

 

[Ganymede]

We were discussing a local bloke who's caused trouble round the village for as long as anyone can remember (dodgy deals, despoiled property, smelly pig-keeping, shotgun-waving etc).

Me: Old whosit must be about 102 by now.
SO: Yeah, in rat years.

 

[Fab Foodie]

I was asked "Should I put dry-ice on my Vongole?"

 

[shouldbeinbed]

'aaaaaaaaargh , run'

shouted by the little git that was throwing stones at traffic & who didn't expect me to swing around for a word with him after he got my leg.

 

[Saluki]

Me: Hello
Customer: Sorry, I have to cancel today's groom as I have decided to go shopping instead
Me: Your groom is booked for half an hour away
Customer: Yes
Me: I like at least 24 hours notice so I can rebook the slot
Customer: Book me in for next saturday
Me: I am full
Customer: What about next friday
Me: full
Customer: What about next thursday
Me: Full
Customer: When do you have
Me: I have a slot in 30 minutes from now, today if that helps
Customer: I'm going shopping
Me: Sorry can't help you then
Customer. What about Christmas eve
Me: what about it?
Customer: You could come then
Me: I couldn't
Customer, what about next Sunday
Me: Have you read Exodus? 5th commandment and all that
Customer: Is that a film?
Me. Am fully booked until January now.
Customer: I'll book in the new year then
Me: would you like some numbers of other groomers?
Her: Sorry
Me: so I should hope. Good bye


And breathe. I hate short notice cancellations. She would have been right up the nose if I have short notice cancelled on her. Cost me half a days wages not grooming her 3 bloody dogs.

 

[Ganymede]

Me: Hello
Customer: Sorry, I have to cancel today's groom as I have decided to go shopping instead
Me: Your groom is booked for half an hour away
Customer: Yes
Me: I like at least 24 hours notice so I can rebook the slot
Customer: Book me in for next saturday
Me: I am full
Customer: What about next friday
Me: full
Customer: What about next thursday
Me: Full
Customer: When do you have
Me: I have a slot in 30 minutes from now, today if that helps
Customer: I'm going shopping
Me: Sorry can't help you then
Customer. What about Christmas eve
Me: what about it?
Customer: You could come then
Me: I couldn't
Customer, what about next Sunday
Me: Have you read Exodus? 5th commandment and all that
Customer: Is that a film?
Me. Am fully booked until January now.
Customer: I'll book in the new year then
Me: would you like some numbers of other groomers?
Her: Sorry
Me: so I should hope. Good bye


And breathe. I hate short notice cancellations. She would have been right up the nose if I have short notice cancelled on her. Cost me half a days wages not grooming her 3 bloody dogs.

I'd do it back to her next time. But I know (*sigh*) it's probably better to keep her than ditch her, got to keep your clients etc. I'd have a word when she books next though - tell her you'll have to start taking a deposit if she does it again.

 

[Saluki]

I'd do it back to her next time. But I know (*sigh*) it's probably better to keep her than ditch her, got to keep your clients etc. I'd have a word when she books next though - tell her you'll have to start taking a deposit if she does it again.

I operate a 3 strikes and you're out policy. That's her 3 strikes and she can go to hell. She's a right PITA anyway AND she plays Daniel O flaming Donnel at me while I am grooming her dogs. She doesn't appear to own a brush so I have to rump them each time. No job satisfaction at all, plus we have to clean the bath before putting her dog in it. I'm just sore to be losing £120 quid today.

 

[ufkacbln]

In the underwear section of M&S* and there is a young lady selecting some sensible underwear when her daughter of about 6 or 7 comes up with a somewhat more racy set of underwear and says "I think Daddy would prefer these"

Much embarrassment on the young lady's part and much amusement from the bystanders






*There officially and escorted by the wife

 

[colly]

*There officially and escorted by the wife

Says you !

 

[Arch]

Overheard, a child having just been in the Santa Grotto Brake Van at the West Lancs Light Railway:

"Mummy, he was a NICE Santa, wasn't he?"

I wonder how many horrible Santas she's seen?

 

[colly]

I over heard a small girl (about 3 I would guess) at the shops......................'Mummy's taking me to see Farmer Clause'

 

[ufkacbln]

Says you !

A few years ago, I shopped with my wife and nipped into the book shop. She was off to Laura Ashley

I was given the strict instruction that if she was not in the shop she would be trying things on, and I was to wait

So I did, st outside the ladies changing room with my book, and waited, and waited....

Girl came up with a security guard asking if she could help, so I explained. The Guard replied that there was no-one there and would I mind leaving!

Fortunately the wife then came in, verified my story and confessed she had been delayed by a shoe shop on the way.

 

[Ganymede]

I operate a 3 strikes and you're out policy. That's her 3 strikes and she can go to hell. She's a right PITA anyway AND she plays Daniel O flaming Donnel at me while I am grooming her dogs. She doesn't appear to own a brush so I have to rump them each time. No job satisfaction at all, plus we have to clean the bath before putting her dog in it. I'm just sore to be losing £120 quid today.

Good on you. People like that have no idea what effect they have on other people. And just before Christmas!

The Daniel O'Donnel is surely the clincher.

Sorry I know this is the Dialogue thread but I could suggest some dialogue myself for Saluki to use!

 

[jhawk]

Dad: "I think with my Christmas bonus I'm going to buy myself a suit."
Me: "I love suits, but... *stares out the window* there's just nowhere to wear them. Apart from Church, and I don't go there."
Dad: "You could always find religion?"
Me: "HA! No thanks."