Give me some dialogue from your day

[swee'pea99]

Me: ....that's because you, along with your entire generation, are utterly ignorant of the basic rules of grammar and punctuation.
Her: It's not our fault. The teachers don't know it themselves. My friend Louise used to keep a little book in her bag called 'Miss Emmery's misspellings', and she used to sit there in lessons taking down all the misspellings Miss Emmery put up on the board.

 

[laurence]

just had a call from orange, alas, not the bike company...

"we are calling about your current contract. we have some special offers"
"ok"
"you can get an ipad..."
"no thanks"
"why not?"
"i don't need one"
"you may not need one, but they are great and it is christmas soon"
"no thanks"
"get yourself one for christmas!"
"no thanks, i don't want one"
"what about family and friends? it is christmas soon."
"i'm an athiest, i don't celebrate it"
"oh... (awkward pause) anyway, do you need an extra line? how many in your household?"
"just me"
"oh... (another pause). so, your services, do you need anything more?
"no"
"oh... thank you for your time"

 

[numbnuts]

I've had another speechless day

 

[gbb]

Me: ....that's because you, along with your entire generation, are utterly ignorant of the basic rules of grammar and punctuation.
Her: It's not our fault. The teachers don't know it themselves. My friend Louise used to keep a little book in her bag called 'Miss Emmery's misspellings', and she used to sit there in lessons taking down all the misspellings Miss Emmery put up on the board.

Its one of my pet hates, poor use of language...or laziness as i call it.
19 year old colleague to me...'i int got nuffink for dinner, cudn find anyfink oi loiked'
|Me.....'Jesus, i tell my daughter off for poor English. That's terrible English mate, one day you'll be in a meeting with the boss, what are you going to say ?....i dont fink we can fix it, i can't find anyfink wrong wiv it ?'

Give me strength, utter verbal laziness, no excuses.

 

[Octet]

Its one of my pet hates, poor use of language...or laziness as i call it.
19 year old colleague to me...'i int got nuffink for dinner, cudn find anyfink oi loiked'
|Me.....'Jesus, i tell my daughter off for poor English. That's terrible English mate, one day you'll be in a meeting with the boss, what are you going to say ?....i dont fink we can fix it, i can't find anyfink wrong wiv it ?'

Give me strength, utter verbal laziness, no excuses.

Innit

 

[Crackle]

Son2: you don't laugh at your own jokes,dad
me: no one else does, so I've got to.

 

[pplpilot]

Me : I think because the plasterer has done a quick'ish, on the cheep mates rate job and not really finished off the bottom of the wall as neat or as low as I'd have liked some of that high skirting would look ok, I think it was about 114 high...

Mrs pplpilot : yea I agree, but would you be offended if I asked my Dad to come over and cut it, you know how high his standards are and just how perfect he likes things. I want it done neat...

Me : I'm pretty sure I can manage to cut some skirting to length and cut a 45 degree end on it...

Mrs pplpilot : Eh? a wall is a corner you idiot, a right angle? that's 90 degrees deeerrrrrr <sticks tongue in bottom lip>

Me : <not even going to bother to argue, shakes head and walks away... >

 

[Spinney]

Me : I think because the plasterer has done a quick'ish, on the cheep mates rate job and not really finished off the bottom of the wall as neat or as low as I'd have liked some of that high skirting would look ok, I think it was about 114 high...

Mrs pplpilot : yea I agree, but would you be offended if I asked my Dad to come over and cut it, you know how high his standards are and just how perfect he likes things. I want it done neat...

Me : I'm pretty sure I can manage to cut some skirting to length and cut a 45 degree end on it...

Mrs pplpilot : Eh? a wall is a corner you idiot, a right angle? that's 90 degrees deeerrrrrr <sticks tongue in bottom lip>

Me : <not even going to bother to argue, shakes head and walks away... >

Most of the corners in my house aren't actually 90 degress - can you cut 43 degree corners? Or 47?

 

[Linford]

And so the 1 hour conference finished like this

Hi Linf,

Thank you again for the useful discussions this morning. Please find attached a little background information.

Please could you proceed to manufacture the remaining metal pressing widget


Dr. Dom H
Senior Metallurgist
A very big company
Metal Technology Centre,
Oop North

 

[jayonabike]

Wife: The training today was intense.
Me: Why, was there no room in the office?

 

[ColinJ]

Pal, on phone: Hi Colin - would you like a free PC?

Colin: Er, what's the spec?

Pal: Processor wibble, MoBo wotsit, RAM blah, HDD etc. (Anyway - significantly better than the one I have been using for 13 years!)

Colin: Yes please!


It's an XP machine so I will probably update it to Windows 7. The main problem is that my gammy leg plays up if I sit in my old computer chair for long so I need to sort out a comfortable chair/desk combination.

 

[welsh dragon]

Pal, on phone: Hi Colin - would you like a free PC?

Colin: Er, what's the spec?

Pal: Processor wibble, MoBo wotsit, RAM blah, HDD etc. (Anyway - significantly better than the one I have been using for 13 years!)

Colin: Yes please!


It's an XP machine so I will probably update it to Windows 7. The main problem is that my gammy leg plays up if I sit in my old computer chair for long so I need to sort out a comfortable chair/desk combination.

Yay well done.

 

[Arjimlad]

Arjimlad : "I replied to your last email with the subject matter Unsubscribe, yet you continue to email me. I am not interested in having a meeting with you and I would not be the right person to contact in my firm anyway. So here is a picture of a rabbit with a pancake on its head, which makes about as much sense as your continued spamming of my inbox."

Spammer : "I have to say that is the best knock back I've ever had! Thanks! Apologies your details will be removed. Have a nice day."

 

[Pat "5mph"]

On the bike, busy junction, I want to turn right.
Random pedestrian steppes on the road, his wee dog not on a leash heading towards my wheel.
Me, to the doggie: no, no, noooooooo ... don't let me stop in the middle of the road!
I make it to the curb across, pulling an exasperated face.
Random pedestrian to me: you can wipe that expression from your face right away: he (the dog) has got as much right as you to use the road!

 

[gbb]

After a fruitless three hours trying to get a machine to work at the limits of its design, Lucacz (Polish, line leader, highly motivated, very excitable and could talk a glass eye to sleep at a thousand paces ) is offering some of his renowned advice. He means well...and sometimes does have a knack of working things out, or finding a fix to make things work in true East European style (they're very resourceful)...he offered this fix..
'If you jam a lemon in there, that forces the tube against the drive wheel...and use a piece of card to make that flap a bit longer, it will activate sooner'

His logic is spot on, it would go some way to making the damn thing work...but...

'No , its ridiculous Lucacz, friggin the machine like that, you're right it would do something, but its not the way. It should work properly, or rather, we should stop trying to make it do something it wasn't designed to do'

'Yeah, but if you blah blah blah...'

'No, Lucacz. if your fuel pump isn't working very well on your car, you don't adjust everything on the engine to compensate...you fix the fuel pump. Otherwise you end up with a fuct up engine...and that's whats happening on this machine. We're adjusting everything to compensate and its wrong, we're not dealing with the main problem, a problem no-ones been able to fix the two frikkin years ive been here '


And having thrown in the towel half an hour after (something I HATE doing)..i'm walking through the next packing area..one I don't usually cover..
Lena smiles as I walk past...'What are you doing over this side ? '
'I don't want any trouble from you ..ive had enough from them in there (looking back where ive just come from)'
'What's happening ?'
'Its ok, a machine that should be scrapped, I can't get it going....or maybe i'm crap, perhaps its me ? '

I walk off...and pass Celeste...'Hiya Celeste' . (I didn't realise Celeste was a name as well, she didn't realise, and why would she, my old Bianchis colour was called Celeste)