Give me some dialogue from your day

[Spinney]

My youngest, out of nowhere and triggered by nothing: Plastic dinosaurs are made of plastic.
Us: (baffled, needless to say)...er, yes. (As in, your point being...?)
Her: Plastic is made of oil. Oil is made of dinosaurs. So...plastic dinosaurs are made of real dinosaurs."

Saw that on the internet the other day. Pity that oil isn't actually made of dinosaurs...

But good on your youngster, nevertheless - a fine sense of irony developing there!

 

[Spinney]

Quite right, the Earth makes oil for us deep underground, nothing to do with mythical creatures, who's fossils were put there to test our faith, at all

Funny, Adrian, didn't have you down as a god-botherer...

 

[jhawk]

Me: "Dad... FFS, stop trying to twerk." I've thought about emancipation...

 

[PRob]

Sat in the office this morning when I hear one of my colleagues (Who is very much an Essex girl) say "poor boys... no one's fed you again" (talking about the unit's fish) and gets up to feed them.

Second colleague (who is former public school ex RN officer type) goes "what? The poisson?"

FC - "No the fish!!!..... Why would I feed a croissant?!"

 

[Simmer]

"480 miles is quite high for a tyre" .. Halfords today when I expressed my feelings over a very worn rear tyre (few months old) .. kudos to them though for accepting my suggested solution 'They put a gatorskin on the back FOC and I'll buy one for the front'

Even honored the web price of £20.99 !

 

[Arch]

Yesterday, my workmate Vicky and I were just driving out of a little housing complex, when a car drove in - a nasty orange coloured Audi, we see it every week. It parked, and the woman driver got out..

Me: Blimey, see the colour of her hair? It's almost the same as the car ! (It was pretty yellow, certainly not what I'd call blonde...)
Me: And those boots, look at the heels! (about 5" high, stilettos)
Vic: Ugh!
Me: She's got a sort of leopardskin flap look... (the tail of a blouse sticking out from under a jacket)

The woman walked into a hairdressers - she must work there, as the car is always there.

Vic: <heavy sarcasm> I'd love to meet her at a party.
Me: Yeah, I bet she's a really interesting person to talk to.
Vic: Oh yeah!
Me: With her yellow hair, and her stupid shoes, and her leopardskin flap and her car the colour of a faded satsuma...
Vic: <laughing>

As we move on to collect the next recycling box, there's a pause, then:

Me: You know, we shouldn't judge like that.
Vic: No way! She was crying out to be judged!

 

[Nigel-YZ1]

Mum: I looked out of the window yesterday and the neighbour's dogs were having sex!
Me: Oh...
Mum: Children could have seen that!
Me: Well it's natural for them and they can't be watched all the time...
Mum: But I thought they were both boy dogs
Me: ... ummm... well they do daft things sometimes...
Mum: I'm going to ask X the next time I see her & tell her what happened.
Me: ... are you sure you want to talk to her about that?

 

[SatNavSaysStraightOn]

couple of fragments of conversations.
All relating to my step-father had him being back in hospital again. (His 8th admission in 10 months, this time around he had been home may be 12 days.)

last night on the phone to my grandad, him saying to me "well, love, I think your mum could do with someone sleeping with her"

my mother at lunch today " don't tell Ben, but I think it tasted better 2nd time around"

 

[Rickshaw Phil]

I was attempting to sell some of my DVDs from a stall over the last couple of days and had a player showing the film on a loop which one chap seemed to be taking an interest in:

Me: Can I tempt you to buy a copy?
Him: Nah................Is it on youtube?
Me: (Thinks sarcastically: Yes, of course because I'd really like to sell you something that you can get for free off the internet.)
Me: No it isn't I'm sorry.
Him: Only, I ain't got no thingumy player. (Wanders off)
Me:

 

[gbb]

The wife's watching X Factor results. She got all annoyed with me last night because I was taking the pith out the state of the show, the poor quality of some of the contestants, and the false exultation from the judges for contestants , Sharon Orsbornes virtually pathetic manner when telling them how they performed, etc etc etc. She turned it off in a huff . I promised not to spoil tonights show...I didn't realise how hard that was going to be

So i'm sat there, lips pursed tight, a mild manic smile on my face and my heart rate is going up.....i'm just freekin dying to start
The wife asked...'Whats the matter with you ?'
'Nothing..i'm just being really good'
'Eh ?'
'Well, FFS, look at em, ....err, sorry, ...', and reverted back to my zipped lips face.

Ive had to leave the room

 

[swee'pea99]

"She sent me out of class for doing a drawing of a penis. But it wasn't a penis, it was an elephant."
"How could you confuse a penis with an elephant?!"

 

[gbb]

"She sent me out of class for doing a drawing of a penis. But it wasn't a penis, it was an elephant."
"How could you confuse a penis with an elephant?!"

Reminds me of yesterdays..
Sat at the wifes parents, we've taken two of our grandchildren, their great grandchildren, girls aged 4 and 8....who were the picture of angelic behaviour all day ...except one fleeting moment while we were eating dinner.
The four year old suddenly uttered...'P' off'
Four adult faces suddenly turned ...to see her flicking peas off the chicken on her plate ...apparently oblivious to what she'd just said, or what it could be interpreted as.

 

[BigonaBianchi]

Oh %&*$! that'll be three hitting the deck then...

STOP!! you moron cant you see there are people laying in the road in front of you!!!

Anybody hurt?

No we are ok thanks for stopping Mrs. Ambulance lady..

Right...this wheel...erm..this ex wheel...

Take it off and stand on it...kind of bend in back into shape...

right...like this?

Nah ..not really..

more like that..

oh...you mean this way..

erm...maybe not then..try this..

nah not working to well is it..

 

[ColinJ]

I was going to write some dialogue from my day, when I realised that I was thinking about yesterday ... I haven't spoken to anybody today! (And I'll be peeved if I have to now, with only 30 minutes left of it!)

 

[Octet]

Me: I think I've sorted it, but I don't know if it will work?

PersonA: I think that, wait... is this going....

Me: No, that is a relation of *pointing*

PersonA: No, that won't work... or will it.... yes it will.... wait, no....

Me: These should be isolated from the rest of it

PersonA: That won't work then.... but hold on, yes I think it.....


A conversation I had, trying to work out the relationships in a large relational Database I'm developing.