Give me some dialogue from your day

[jhawk]

The dog walks in holding his rubber KONG toy in his mouth.

Dad: "Go over there and drop it on Jack's foot! Go on!" I'm just sat at my PC, minding my own business. Over comes the little barsteward.

THUNK. He THROWS it at my foot and scores a direct hit.

Me (not knowing whether to laugh or cry - doing both because it bloody hurts!): "You little fecker!" *Hops around on one foot for about five minutes*.

 

[siadwell]

Our office "cafe" employs only the best.
Server: "Chef, can we have some more beans please?"
Voice of chef from kitchen: "Orange or green?"

 

[gbb]

21.30 last night...'ahhh ' as a can of dogfood fell from the cupboard, glancing my left ankle.
'You ok ?' Asked the wife.
'No problem'

21.35...'BANG..'ngggggh, fcukit ...jesus, that hurts' as i rubbed my head after hitting it on the stairs i'd been crouched under.
'You ok ?' Asked the wife.
'Kin ell, that hurt like hell'

09.00 this morning, i'm disassembling a conveyor, undone a series of bolts, turned round and BANG...
'Jesus ' as a deep pain grows in my right ankle, bl00dy hell that hurts. I can usually shrug pain off but this is a deep ache building up. Sock off, an impact mark is showing on my inner ankle where a 2 kilo lump of metal has hit it. 1/2 hour of cold compressing to get the resulting egg sized swelling down..
'Thats It, i'm going home'

 

[Arch]

Earlier on the radio, I heard a report that some scientists have discovered that certain levels of noise vibration can make photo voltaic panels work more efficiently, which they proved by playing music and measuring the variation in energy output. Rock music worked better than classical, due to the various levels of certain frequencies. I was just telling NT about this on the phone...

Me: and they said that solar panels could be placed in places where there is already a lot of noise, to increase the power output from the sunlight. Like on top of rooftop aircon units. or next to railway lines.

NT: Yeah, that's interesting!

Me: I suppose, if pop music works well, they could put them on the roofs of nightclubs.

NT: Yeeees. Although night clubs tend to operate... at night....

Me: Yes, well done on spotting my deliberate mistake there, put in to test you. Good work!

NT: <laugh>

Me: <blush>

 

[Scoosh]

@gbb - or is it time for ?

Either way, take it easy - you don't want to impair your !

 

[colly]

'Come ON you ******* *******. For **** sake what the **** is stopping you ******* working now. You ******* ******* piece of ******* ****.

Yes that's it..............Oh for **** sake you ******* lump of ******* ********** scrap **** all you have to do is ******* not keep snapping the thread. ******* ******. yes, YES. Noooooooooooooo.

A cup of tea later:

Hi Steve, when can you call in to have a look my at my machine. Ok see you in the morning.



You know what sewing machines simply don't listen do they ?

 

[Spinney]

'Come ON you ******* *******. For **** sake what the **** is stopping you ******* working now. You ******* ******* piece of ******* ****.

Yes that's it..............Oh for **** sake you ******* lump of ******* ********** scrap **** all you have to do is ******* not keep snapping the thread. ******* ******. yes, YES. Noooooooooooooo.

A cup of tea later:

Hi Steve, when can you call in to have a look my at my machine. Ok see you in the morning.



You know what sewing machines simply don't listen do they ?

You've been spying on me! That sounds exactly like me sewing...

 

[colly]

You've been spying on me! That sounds exactly like me sewing...

Some of us suffer for our art.

 

[jhawk]

'Come ON you ******* *******. For **** sake what the **** is stopping you ******* working now. You ******* ******* piece of ******* ****.

Yes that's it..............Oh for **** sake you ******* lump of ******* ********** scrap **** all you have to do is ******* not keep snapping the thread. ******* ******. yes, YES. Noooooooooooooo.

A cup of tea later:

Hi Steve, when can you call in to have a look my at my machine. Ok see you in the morning.



You know what sewing machines simply don't listen do they ?

That's a lot of rage...

 

[swee'pea99]

My youngest, out of nowhere and triggered by nothing: Plastic dinosaurs are made of plastic.
Us: (baffled, needless to say)...er, yes. (As in, your point being...?)
Her: Plastic is made of oil. Oil is made of dinosaurs. So...plastic dinosaurs are made of real dinosaurs."

 

[colly]

That's a lot of rage...

It seems like it doesn't it? In fact it was said in a mild mannered, whinney kind of voice just so I didn't upset the thing and have it go into a sulk.

 

[Andy_R]

'Come ON you ******* *******. For **** sake what the **** is stopping you ******* working now. You ******* ******* piece of ******* ****.

Yes that's it..............Oh for **** sake you ******* lump of ******* ********** scrap **** all you have to do is ******* not keep snapping the thread. ******* ******. yes, YES. Noooooooooooooo.

A cup of tea later:

Hi Steve, when can you call in to have a look my at my machine. Ok see you in the morning.



You know what sewing machines simply don't listen do they ?

This is where language differs, but the clue is there....."A cup of tea later:"...you can't rage and drink tea......just impossible.....never mind @jhawk, you'll soon get the hang of proper English

 

[Andy_R]

Oh I don't know, a person can get quite irate if given a cup of Earl Gray.

Philistine

 

[Cubist]

Me "Can you have a look at log 1375, it's been finalised as an environmental antisocial behaviour incident."
Supervisor " What should it be?"
Me "I don't really know, but the loggist has typed 'I was at a junction, the other car was driving too fast, and pulled out of a parking space without indicating making me stop with traffic coming the other way. I had a child in the car."
Supervisor "Not really a nuisance log then is it?"
Me "No. But the caller is now convinced we know what he wants us to do about the problem."
Supervisor "What is the problem?"
Me "I can't tell from what call-taker wrote."
Supervisor "It looks like we closed the log before speaking with the caller. "
Me "Yes, with a result better suited to people burning garden rubbish. "
Supervisor "I'll change the finalisation code."
Me "Do you have one for utter f*cking nonsense that should never have been logged?"

 

[Maverick Goose]

2 blokes in the Ilchester Arms this lunchtime:
"This country's not too shabby is it really?"
"Well you don't get people hanging off the bottoms of trains trying to get into f!@#$%^g Bosnia do you?"