Spinney
Bimbleur extraordinaire
- Location
- Back up north
How's this for pretty science?Mr6 - look at the rainbow
Me- aw, you've got to love it when science is pretty
Mr6 -
Give me some dialogue from your day
- Thread starter Crackle
- Start date
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crazyjoe101
New Member
- Location
- London
Me and my Dad are discussing commuting during the bad weather.
Me: "That's why it's so good to have a bike."
Dad: "And you think if cars and trains can't get anywhere a bike will be better?"
Me: "Well that's what the drops are for Dad, getting out of the wind. You can also sneak past road closures and fallen trees
."
Dad: D:
*continues before he realises I'm pulling his leg*
Me: "That's why it's so good to have a bike."
Dad: "And you think if cars and trains can't get anywhere a bike will be better?"
Me: "Well that's what the drops are for Dad, getting out of the wind. You can also sneak past road closures and fallen trees
."Dad: D:
*continues before he realises I'm pulling his leg*
SatNavSaysStraightOn
Changed hemispheres!
- Location
- ɐᴉlɐɹʇsn∀ 'ɐɹɹǝquɐƆ
Last night talking to my OH about the shopping list he had 'put' together for me (in otherwords written out a complete list of ingredients from 3 recipes that he wants cooking this week, but without consulting the fridge or cupboards to see what we actually already have). This list included various items I decided not to purchase because we already had them, and also included sausages which were on offer, so it would work out cheaper in the long run to buy fresh and eat those rather than eat the frozen ones from the freezer... at least that was my thinking... The frozen ones will get eaten next week.
OH: "Damm, Blast... Bugger" (mutterings from the kitchen)
OH: "I didn't realise you bought sausages" (as he walks into the dinning room)
Me: "They were on the shopping list you wrote, not that we actually needed them because there were some in the freezer already."
OH: "I've just found them in the fridge."
Me: raised eyebrows & thinking where else would I put refridgerated products. "What did we eat last night then?"
OH: "The frozen ones..."
Me: "So you defrosted the frozen ones, cooked those and then put the refridgerated ones into the freezer just now?"
OH: just nods
a few minutes later over our meal
Me: "that shopping list..."
OH: "yep"
Me: "Did you consult the fridge when you were creating it?"
OH: "It doesn't talk to me"
Me: (sighs here we go again) "It burbles at you." (knowing that this discussion is degenerating into jibberish)
OH: "I don't talk 'burble' "
Me: "Ahhh, well if you open the fridge door, it's a language that comes complete with pictures"
OH: gives me a look that says OK point made but you're talking jibberish.
OH: "Damm, Blast... Bugger" (mutterings from the kitchen)
OH: "I didn't realise you bought sausages" (as he walks into the dinning room)
Me: "They were on the shopping list you wrote, not that we actually needed them because there were some in the freezer already."
OH: "I've just found them in the fridge."
Me: raised eyebrows & thinking where else would I put refridgerated products. "What did we eat last night then?"
OH: "The frozen ones..."
Me: "So you defrosted the frozen ones, cooked those and then put the refridgerated ones into the freezer just now?"
OH: just nods
a few minutes later over our meal
Me: "that shopping list..."
OH: "yep"
Me: "Did you consult the fridge when you were creating it?"
OH: "It doesn't talk to me"
Me: (sighs here we go again) "It burbles at you." (knowing that this discussion is degenerating into jibberish)
OH: "I don't talk 'burble' "
Me: "Ahhh, well if you open the fridge door, it's a language that comes complete with pictures"
OH: gives me a look that says OK point made but you're talking jibberish.
SatNavSaysStraightOn
Changed hemispheres!
- Location
- ɐᴉlɐɹʇsn∀ 'ɐɹɹǝquɐƆ
OH is home from work early today, so that I can have the car to get to a hospital appointment this afternoon - he had baled from cycling to work, something to do with a storm that has not happened here and I am still off my bike due to injury. Whilst eating lunch together, the toaster pops up and my OH goes to get his toast.
OH: ow, oW, OW, (blows on fingers after dropping toast onto plate and exclaims) the toast was hot!
Me: this surprises you how?
OH: pauses for a moment before saying in a tiny voice "I think I am being picked on again"
I can see today is going to be a very long day
OH: ow, oW, OW, (blows on fingers after dropping toast onto plate and exclaims) the toast was hot!
Me: this surprises you how?
OH: pauses for a moment before saying in a tiny voice "I think I am being picked on again"
I can see today is going to be a very long day
wife . i am stuck here in chichester as the trains are not running tonight .
me . do you want me to come and get you (joking as it would be 9 hour round trip)
wife . no its ok i am having a great time up here without you and the kids
me. thanks a lot love you to
me . do you want me to come and get you (joking as it would be 9 hour round trip)
wife . no its ok i am having a great time up here without you and the kids
me. thanks a lot love you to
35mins ago:
Me : 'It's ok he's just a bit spooked.' Not much dialogue really, but it was bizarre anyway.
I took the dog for his evening constitutional and the route this evening took me along a ginnel. (alley) It is perhaps 100m end to end, maybe a little more. Stone wall to one side and a high fence overhung by trees on the other side. It is lit by street lights but for the centre part of the ginnel the light is obscured by the trees so it's pretty dark. The ginnel is 'S' shaped so you can't see the centre section from either end. So far so ordinary.
Approaching the centre section I can smell cigarette smoke so I'm not surprised when I round the bend to see someone standing in the shadows. The dog is dawdling and sniffing along slowly and as I approach this figure I see it is a tallish bloke, dressed in I think jeans and a leather motorcycle jacket. He has a motorcycle helmet on, with the visor up.
He is drinking a mug of tea
A few more slow steps, because of the dog still dawdling, and I spy another figure in the darker shadows. A woman. Older than the bloke I'd guess. Dressed in a red dressing gown, wearing pink pyjamas and smoking
The ginnel is only 5 or 6 feet wide so I tug the dogs lead to hurry him up and he finally catches sight of the couple. He is a wimp of the first order so he scuttles close to my legs keeping me between them and him and growls, and I say ...............'It's OK he's just a bit spooked.'
50m in a dark alley, dressed in motorbike gear, drinking a mug of tea, talking to a woman in pink pyjamas ?
I must have missed so much in life. Sigh
Me : 'It's ok he's just a bit spooked.' Not much dialogue really, but it was bizarre anyway.
I took the dog for his evening constitutional and the route this evening took me along a ginnel. (alley) It is perhaps 100m end to end, maybe a little more. Stone wall to one side and a high fence overhung by trees on the other side. It is lit by street lights but for the centre part of the ginnel the light is obscured by the trees so it's pretty dark. The ginnel is 'S' shaped so you can't see the centre section from either end. So far so ordinary.
Approaching the centre section I can smell cigarette smoke so I'm not surprised when I round the bend to see someone standing in the shadows. The dog is dawdling and sniffing along slowly and as I approach this figure I see it is a tallish bloke, dressed in I think jeans and a leather motorcycle jacket. He has a motorcycle helmet on, with the visor up.
He is drinking a mug of tea
A few more slow steps, because of the dog still dawdling, and I spy another figure in the darker shadows. A woman. Older than the bloke I'd guess. Dressed in a red dressing gown, wearing pink pyjamas and smoking
The ginnel is only 5 or 6 feet wide so I tug the dogs lead to hurry him up and he finally catches sight of the couple. He is a wimp of the first order so he scuttles close to my legs keeping me between them and him and growls, and I say ...............'It's OK he's just a bit spooked.'
50m in a dark alley, dressed in motorbike gear, drinking a mug of tea, talking to a woman in pink pyjamas ?
I must have missed so much in life. Sigh
Hill Wimp
Fair weathered,fair minded but easily persuaded.
35mins ago:
Me : 'It's ok he's just a bit spooked.' Not much dialogue really, but it was bizarre anyway.
I took the dog for his evening constitutional and the route this evening took me along a ginnel. (alley) It is perhaps 100m end to end, maybe a little more. Stone wall to one side and a high fence overhung by trees on the other side. It is lit by street lights but for the centre part of the ginnel the light is obscured by the trees so it's pretty dark. The ginnel is 'S' shaped so you can't see the centre section from either end. So far so ordinary.
Approaching the centre section I can smell cigarette smoke so I'm not surprised when I round the bend to see someone standing in the shadows. The dog is dawdling and sniffing along slowly and as I approach this figure I see it is a tallish bloke, dressed in I think jeans and a leather motorcycle jacket. He has a motorcycle helmet on as, with the visor up.
He is drinking a mug of tea
A few more slow steps, because of the dog still dawdling, and I spy another figure in the darker shadows. A woman. Older than the bloke I'd guess. Dressed in a red dressing gown, wearing pink pyjamas and smoking
The ginnel is only 5 or 6 feet wide so I tug the dogs lead to hurry him up and he finally catches sight of the couple. He is a wimp of the first order so he scuttles close to my legs keeping me between them and him and growls, and I say ...............'It's OK he's just a bit spooked.'
50m in a dark alley, dressed in motorbike gear, drinking a mug of tea, talking to a woman in pink pyjamas ?
I must have missed so much in life. Sigh
Atta Boy
Cubist
Still wavin'
- Location
- Ovver 'thill
Me "Hub Commander"
Voice "I love your phone voice."
Me "Thanks"
Voice "It's very Barry White"
Me (twigging who it is) "Trust me, that's the only thing we have in common"
Voice "Can you authorise some leave for me then ring me on my mobile please? It's urgent."
Me "No problem.What's the number?"
Voice " 0712345678. Mind you, I may have just signed up a new stalker"
Me "I'll do my best to control myself."
Voice "Black and white lace, before you ask."
Me
Voice "I love your phone voice."
Me "Thanks"
Voice "It's very Barry White"
Me (twigging who it is) "Trust me, that's the only thing we have in common"
Voice "Can you authorise some leave for me then ring me on my mobile please? It's urgent."
Me "No problem.What's the number?"
Voice " 0712345678. Mind you, I may have just signed up a new stalker"
Me "I'll do my best to control myself."
Voice "Black and white lace, before you ask."
Me
Lanzecki
Über Member
- Location
- A Boreen, Ireland
At a customers today, talking to a new employee that's a hardcore cyclist (Well, he cycled in on the first day in bad weather). He's been working there a week now.
The roads are busy rural roads.
Me: "So the roads are ok in rush hour? No problems with drivers?"
Him: "Naa, Keep the speed up and look wobbly and unstable. I get loads of space"
A colleague of his: "You know you delayed me getting to work this morning?"
Him: "Did I? I swear I was in the office before you."
I predict much fun to be had in this building.
The roads are busy rural roads.
Me: "So the roads are ok in rush hour? No problems with drivers?"
Him: "Naa, Keep the speed up and look wobbly and unstable. I get loads of space"
A colleague of his: "You know you delayed me getting to work this morning?"
Him: "Did I? I swear I was in the office before you."
I predict much fun to be had in this building.
Arch
Married to Night Train
- Location
- Salford, UK
A text exchange with a colleague today:
Me to Him: We're going to have a nibble at Newton Terrace. We might need a hand loading up the boxes at Falkland St binstore. And my phone tried to render Falkland as galangal.
Him to Me: Smart phones are so middle class. Fallcod is what mine says. Cod is definitely working class. Unless it's braised in galangal. Why the hell is galangal in predictive?
Me to Him: LOL! S onshore that text is even funnier because I can actually see you! (he was now working at the other end of the street we were on)
Me to Him: Somehow, I mean.
Him to Me: I'm offshore!
Me to Him: We're going to have a nibble at Newton Terrace. We might need a hand loading up the boxes at Falkland St binstore. And my phone tried to render Falkland as galangal.
Him to Me: Smart phones are so middle class. Fallcod is what mine says. Cod is definitely working class. Unless it's braised in galangal. Why the hell is galangal in predictive?
Me to Him: LOL! S onshore that text is even funnier because I can actually see you! (he was now working at the other end of the street we were on)
Me to Him: Somehow, I mean.
Him to Me: I'm offshore!
crazyjoe101
New Member
- Location
- London
Me: "Can you think of a good name for the bike?"
Grandma: "Is it a boy or a girl?"
Me "A boy."
Grandma: "What about (prounounced this way: ) Hussein Bolt?"
Me: *laughs* "Yeah, good ol' Saddam Bolt!"
Grandma: "What?"
Me: "It's Usain, as in 'Usain Bolt'. Not Hussein, as in 'Saddam Hussein' XD."
Grandma: "Yeah but you still can't call it Saddam."
Me:
.
Grandma: "Is it a boy or a girl?"
Me "A boy."
Grandma: "What about (prounounced this way: ) Hussein Bolt?"
Me: *laughs* "Yeah, good ol' Saddam Bolt!"
Grandma: "What?
"Me: "It's Usain, as in 'Usain Bolt'. Not Hussein, as in 'Saddam Hussein' XD."
Grandma: "Yeah but you still can't call it Saddam."
Me:
.
Last edited:
Moon bunny
Judging your grammar
- Location
- Basking in my own brilliance.
Boss, observing our black pudding and tomato sandwiches, "Is there anything you two will not put in a sandwich?"
Hover Fly, "Nuts and bolts".
Hover Fly, "Nuts and bolts".
Wimps - obviously not "real" cyclists !
Wife on phone to cold caller:
CC: I need to talk to you about your Visa
Wife: Do I need one?
CC: Your Visa Card
Wife: I was born in London, I didn't know I needed one.
CC: No Madam your Visa CARD, we need to ask some questions about your spending habits
Wife: You mean I have to spend money to get a Visa to work here?
CC: No Madam, we can save you money when you spend it on your Visa card
Wife: You mean the Work Visa lets you spend money, is that lke benefits then?
CC: No Madam, it is about your credit card
Wife: So you are saying that I need a Work Visa to get credit?
CC: No You don't need a work Visa
Wife: Thats Ok then, there is no need to answer your questions.....
Puts Phone down
Wife:
CC:
Wife:
CC:
Wife:
CC:
Wife:
CC:
Wife:
CC:
Wife:
CC:
Wife:
CC:
Wife:
CC: I need to talk to you about your Visa
Wife: Do I need one?
CC: Your Visa Card
Wife: I was born in London, I didn't know I needed one.
CC: No Madam your Visa CARD, we need to ask some questions about your spending habits
Wife: You mean I have to spend money to get a Visa to work here?
CC: No Madam, we can save you money when you spend it on your Visa card
Wife: You mean the Work Visa lets you spend money, is that lke benefits then?
CC: No Madam, it is about your credit card
Wife: So you are saying that I need a Work Visa to get credit?
CC: No You don't need a work Visa
Wife: Thats Ok then, there is no need to answer your questions.....
Puts Phone down
Wife:
CC:
Wife:
CC:
Wife:
CC:
Wife:
CC:
Wife:
CC:
Wife:
CC:
Wife:
CC:
Wife:
Overheard in the supermarket today. Two old boys talking to each other:
OB1: 'I like country music me...'
OB2: 'Aye?'
OB1: 'Aye. I like that Tammy Why-nett the best...'
OB2: ' 'ave you got 'er record then?'
OB1: 'Oh aye. I've 'ad one foh years, but ah only listen to one song over an' over agean... Ah' reight like that 'un...'
OB2: 'Wot's it called?'
OB1: ' Ah dun't know...'
OB1: 'I like country music me...'
OB2: 'Aye?'
OB1: 'Aye. I like that Tammy Why-nett the best...'
OB2: ' 'ave you got 'er record then?'
OB1: 'Oh aye. I've 'ad one foh years, but ah only listen to one song over an' over agean... Ah' reight like that 'un...'
OB2: 'Wot's it called?'
OB1: ' Ah dun't know...'
