crazyjoe101
New Member
- Location
- London
Friend: "Why do you need two bikes?"
Me: "Three."
Me: "Three."
Give me some dialogue from your day
- Thread starter Crackle
- Start date
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GrasB
Veteran
- Location
- Nr Cambridge
gbb
Squire
- Location
- Peterborough
Wife to me..'How do you spell vicious ?'
'V I S H U S'
...'Sod off..no you don't, its vicious'
'Whacha ask for then ?'
'
'V I S H U S'
...'Sod off..no you don't, its vicious' 'Whacha ask for then ?''
MossCommuter
Guru
- Location
- Salford
Me: I have an ear worm 
Colleague: Oh my God! Really?
Me: Yeah, I have
Colleague: How can you tell?
Me: I can hear it, in my head
Colleague: Eeeeuuuuuwwww... What're you going to do about it?
Me: Errr... nothing, it'll go away soon
Colleague: Oh my God! That's horrible... Isn't it dangerous?
Me: Well, Justin Timberlake could be accused of a lot of things but to say his music is "dangerous" is going a bit far
Colleague: Eh?
Colleague: Oh my God! Really?
Me: Yeah, I have
Colleague: How can you tell?
Me: I can hear it, in my head
Colleague: Eeeeuuuuuwwww... What're you going to do about it?
Me: Errr... nothing, it'll go away soon
Colleague: Oh my God! That's horrible... Isn't it dangerous?
Me: Well, Justin Timberlake could be accused of a lot of things but to say his music is "dangerous" is going a bit far
Colleague: Eh?
gbb
Squire
- Location
- Peterborough
'How's your day been ? I asked the wife as usual....(she works in a school for severely disabled kids)
'Had better
'
'Are you ok ?' I asked, her eyes looked red....
'Yes i'm ok, apart from nearly having my eye taken out by one of the kids'
...'What happened ?'
'**** was playing up (he's new and VERY challenging), he got upset and lashed out with a pencil...and took my contact lens out, it tore it'
'
Jesus, did it catch your eye itself ?'
'In the second it happened, I didn't know, I just covered my eyes with my hands and called 'get him out of here'
How in the world you can split a contact lens on the eyeball,and not actually hit the eyeball is incredibly lucky Hair pulling, kicks, pinches, occasional thumps come with the job. The kids can't help it, they don't have the normal behaviour boundaries you'd expect. She wears contact lenses because glasses wouldn't last 5 minutes. Unfortunately, glasses would have been the better option on the day.
Despite this, I know she LOVES that job.
'Had better
''Are you ok ?' I asked, her eyes looked red....
'Yes i'm ok, apart from nearly having my eye taken out by one of the kids'
...'What happened ?''**** was playing up (he's new and VERY challenging), he got upset and lashed out with a pencil...and took my contact lens out, it tore it'
'
Jesus, did it catch your eye itself ?''In the second it happened, I didn't know, I just covered my eyes with my hands and called 'get him out of here'
How in the world you can split a contact lens on the eyeball,and not actually hit the eyeball is incredibly lucky
Hair pulling, kicks, pinches, occasional thumps come with the job. The kids can't help it, they don't have the normal behaviour boundaries you'd expect. She wears contact lenses because glasses wouldn't last 5 minutes. Unfortunately, glasses would have been the better option on the day. Despite this, I know she LOVES that job.
crazyjoe101
New Member
- Location
- London
VERY similar to Sandra6's...
Friend: (via text) "You know you have a lesson mate?"
Me: *realises I've got my days mixed up*
Me: "*BLEEP*"
Friend: (via text) "You know you have a lesson mate?"
Me: *realises I've got my days mixed up*
Me: "*BLEEP*"
Arch
Married to Night Train
- Location
- Salford, UK
'How's your day been ? I asked the wife as usual....(she works in a school for severely disabled kids)
'Had better
'Are you ok ?' I asked, her eyes looked red....
'Yes i'm ok, apart from nearly having my eye taken out by one of the kids'
'**** was playing up (he's new and VERY challenging), he got upset and lashed out with a pencil...and took my contact lens out, it tore it'
'
'In the second it happened, I didn't know, I just covered my eyes with my hands and called 'get him out of here'
How in the world you can split a contact lens on the eyeball,and not actually hit the eyeball is incredibly lucky
Despite this, I know she LOVES that job.
She's an angel. I simply wouldn't have the patience. I find it hard enough to cope with some of the volunteers we have at work, who tend to have learning difficulties. The trouble is, when I'm back at base, I'm usually either starving for my lunch, or shattered at the end of the day, and someone asking, as they ask every week, which bin a yoghurt pot goes in, or flicking a lightswitch on and off, is irrationally irritating to me.
Hats off to Mrs gbb and everyone like her!
laurence
Veteran
- Location
- in the aeroplane over the sea
had a very strange day at work... for some reason everything ended up making us laugh.
it started with a conversation on twerking. we then started adding the work 'twerk' into as many conversations as we could.... and then substituting it in. the Mancini tune "baby elephant walk" became, well, the image made us crack up ad we got more delirious as the day went on.
the final shred of normality were stripped away when, towards the end of the day, the boss said -
"i just flicked my mouse over an email"
we couldn't work much after that.
it started with a conversation on twerking. we then started adding the work 'twerk' into as many conversations as we could.... and then substituting it in. the Mancini tune "baby elephant walk" became, well, the image made us crack up ad we got more delirious as the day went on.
the final shred of normality were stripped away when, towards the end of the day, the boss said -
"i just flicked my mouse over an email"
we couldn't work much after that.
Arch
Married to Night Train
- Location
- Salford, UK
This isn't really dialogue, although the last bit was said to my workmate..
I was working away on the offside of the truck, sorting recycling into the bags. We're on a street where there is room for a vehicle to pass fairly easily, even when one of us is working on the offside.
Me: <thinks> Oh, there's a van coming, I can hear it.
He'll get by ok.
It's getting closer.
That diesel is a bit rough sounding.
How come it's so loud and not passing me..
<outloud>
'KINHELL!
The 'van' I was hearing was in fact an army helicopter. very, very low, which appeared suddenly over the roofs of the houses on the street. I swear, I ducked. OK, it was probably twice as high as the roofs, but boy it was low!
Someone of Twitter reported seeing it over Clifton, the other side of York, so I don't know what it was doing there - where we were it was probably en route to the barracks.
I was working away on the offside of the truck, sorting recycling into the bags. We're on a street where there is room for a vehicle to pass fairly easily, even when one of us is working on the offside.
Me: <thinks> Oh, there's a van coming, I can hear it.
He'll get by ok.
It's getting closer.
That diesel is a bit rough sounding.
How come it's so loud and not passing me..
<outloud>
'KINHELL!
The 'van' I was hearing was in fact an army helicopter. very, very low, which appeared suddenly over the roofs of the houses on the street. I swear, I ducked. OK, it was probably twice as high as the roofs, but boy it was low!
Someone of Twitter reported seeing it over Clifton, the other side of York, so I don't know what it was doing there - where we were it was probably en route to the barracks.
Puddles
Do I need to get the spray plaster out?
- Location
- Hamble, Southampton
Upon phoning a friend who has her hubby posted in the Falklands for 6 months
Male voice answers phone Hello
ME: Hello, why are you there?
HIM: I live here
ME: Well yes but you are meant to be away
HIM: I am on R &R for a week
ME: Ah splendid, so you did not get sent home for causing chaos then?
HIM: No, there is nothing to cause chaos with there
ME: I have heard it is a boring as hell
HIM: Yes, well there is only so many times a day you can look at a beach and say ooh look a penguin before the novelty wears off.
ME: That bad eh?
HIM: Hmm, well, sometimes there are other birds too then it gets really exciting
I have decided I do not need to visit the Falklands.
Male voice answers phone Hello
ME: Hello, why are you there?
HIM: I live here
ME: Well yes but you are meant to be away
HIM: I am on R &R for a week
ME: Ah splendid, so you did not get sent home for causing chaos then?
HIM: No, there is nothing to cause chaos with there
ME: I have heard it is a boring as hell
HIM: Yes, well there is only so many times a day you can look at a beach and say ooh look a penguin before the novelty wears off.
ME: That bad eh?
HIM: Hmm, well, sometimes there are other birds too then it gets really exciting
I have decided I do not need to visit the Falklands.
laurence
Veteran
- Location
- in the aeroplane over the sea
no specific dialogue, but last night i attended a reunion for the radio station i worked at as it was the 25th anniversary of it starting. many a good chat about memorable live band sessions, presenter mistakes and the general chaos there. it was a great time and lovely to see so many old faces, even though they all looked as young as back then!
jhawk
Veteran
- Location
- New Brunswick, Canada
"Good Morning darling, how are you this morning?" (To my very drunk, hungover English friend).
"F*ck off." That was it. She's not spoken to me since... I guess it was a rough night. I received this message from her via Facebook last night - it was 11PM in the UK and she was doing shots... Her and her friend's hadn't even left the house yet.
Me: "So, what's tonight's plan on the bar-crawl then?"
Her: "I think we've got about 5/6 plxeces planed, they're all doing shots I can't cope!"
Me: "Poor, poor baby!"
Her: "Stop taking the mikey! What am I doing with my life? Come dave me!"
I don't know... By all accounts, it was a rough night.
"F*ck off." That was it. She's not spoken to me since... I guess it was a rough night. I received this message from her via Facebook last night - it was 11PM in the UK and she was doing shots... Her and her friend's hadn't even left the house yet.
Me: "So, what's tonight's plan on the bar-crawl then?"
Her: "I think we've got about 5/6 plxeces planed, they're all doing shots I can't cope!"
Me: "Poor, poor baby!"
Her: "Stop taking the mikey! What am I doing with my life? Come dave me!"
I don't know... By all accounts, it was a rough night.
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