crazyjoe101
New Member
- Location
- London
*Face displays emotions of unspoken horror and dispair*
Give me some dialogue from your day
- Thread starter Crackle
- Start date
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Sandra6 reminds me of the weekend - last week we had a bit of a flood from an overflowing bath into the kitchen, but ruined landing/stairs/girls' room carpets too. The landlord had an assessor around and despite only having building's insurance the guy said to decorate too, including these carpets (that are insured by our own contents insurance!).
My 5 y/o - Great, I can have a 1D carpet.
Me - If you do then the insurance guy will be back again for the fire damage.
Wife - He's just kidding, but no you can't have a 1D carpet.
Me - I'm not kidding.
Landlord - No 1D carpet, no fires, and please no more floods either.
My 5 y/o - Great, I can have a 1D carpet.
Me - If you do then the insurance guy will be back again for the fire damage.
Wife - He's just kidding, but no you can't have a 1D carpet.
Me - I'm not kidding.
Landlord - No 1D carpet, no fires, and please no more floods either.
Hover Fly
Lazy so and so
- Location
- Besides the lake, beneath the trees
I think she must have done more than just kiss it.
Lanzecki
Über Member
- Location
- A Boreen, Ireland
It's not the easiest thing to get at. There is a guy helping and a usually a queue as well. Extrovert as well?
gbb
Squire
- Location
- Peterborough
A 55 year old working with a 19 YO has its moments conversation wise, I'm often talking about things that happened before he was born...or when he was very young...
I was talking about a record by Brandy and Monica...lovely record released when he was a nipper.
Today...it got a play on the radio..
'Thats it Dave, the one we were talking about'
'Yeah, ive heard it...good record'
'Its a shivers record for me'
'Whaddaya mean?'
'Dont you get shivers when you hear a really really good record ?'
'No...I get shivers sometimes when i go for a poo
'
'FFS.....I wasnt expecting THAT '
I was talking about a record by Brandy and Monica...lovely record released when he was a nipper.
Today...it got a play on the radio..
'Thats it Dave, the one we were talking about'
'Yeah, ive heard it...good record'
'Its a shivers record for me'
'Whaddaya mean?'
'Dont you get shivers when you hear a really really good record ?'
'No...I get shivers sometimes when i go for a poo
''FFS.....I wasnt expecting THAT '
crazyjoe101
New Member
- Location
- London
Friend: "They didn't even give me one early day, this year is going to be terrible..." (days where you can leave school 2 hours early.)
Me: "I know right, I only got four!" (per week)
*tries to hold straight face*
Me: "I know right, I only got four!" (per week)
*tries to hold straight face*
Tcr4x4
Veteran
- Location
- Gloucester
On the phone to a friend earlier and I said this classic..
"Its not very long, just quite hard"
My wife was wetting herself with laughter and I was trying to hold it together.
"Its not very long, just quite hard"
My wife was wetting herself with laughter and I was trying to hold it together.
Mattonsea
Über Member
- Location
- New Forest
Phone rings .. Wife "The Dog has been hit by a car"
Me " Oh God is it dead"
Wife " no but were off to vets "
Half an hour goes by
Me " Is she dead"
Wife " No .. she was flung 20 ft. across the road , she has no broken bones or internal injury's.
Me ??????????
Me " Oh God is it dead"
Wife " no but were off to vets "
Half an hour goes by
Me " Is she dead"
Wife " No .. she was flung 20 ft. across the road , she has no broken bones or internal injury's.
Me ??????????
crazyjoe101
New Member
- Location
- London
Mattonsea
Über Member
- Location
- New Forest
The bloody thing is chasing the cat around?? It left a dent in the front of a Ford Fiesta and went over the roof.
crazyjoe101
New Member
- Location
- London
Your dog is made of pure win.
gbb
Squire
- Location
- Peterborough
Oh dear...
After being instructed where to hang some notice boards in an office thats being refurbished so it is a bit all over at the moment TBF, the supervisor requested we hang one particually..'over there' as she pointed to the wall above an office cabinet...She left the office....we duly started to hang the notice board. We've drilled 4 holes so the board is just above the cabinet...
Alexei (the administration guy in the office)...'Wha ??? how do you expect people to reach that ?'
Me.......'I'm hanging it where I was asked to
'
'But how is Krystina going to reach that ?'
'I can't put it any lower, it will be behind the cabinet'
'But that cabinet is not staying there'
'And i'm supposed to know that am I?'
He responded with 'You'd think people would ask' ..meaning I should have guessed the cabinet wasn't staying there.
Now he's p1ssed me off...he's trying to be clever in front of everyone. I deliberately fixed my eyes on his...
'I'm NOT here to second guess what everyone wants. Its no problem to move it, when you've all decided EXACTLY what's going where...I will re-hang it.'
A silence fell over the office for a moment...then I turned to my colleague...'now then Dave, whats next....'
After being instructed where to hang some notice boards in an office thats being refurbished so it is a bit all over at the moment TBF, the supervisor requested we hang one particually..'over there' as she pointed to the wall above an office cabinet...She left the office....we duly started to hang the notice board. We've drilled 4 holes so the board is just above the cabinet...
Alexei (the administration guy in the office)...'Wha ??? how do you expect people to reach that ?'
Me.......'I'm hanging it where I was asked to
''But how is Krystina going to reach that ?'
'I can't put it any lower, it will be behind the cabinet'
'But that cabinet is not staying there'
'And i'm supposed to know that am I
?'He responded with 'You'd think people would ask' ..meaning I should have guessed the cabinet wasn't staying there.
Now he's p1ssed me off...he's trying to be clever in front of everyone. I deliberately fixed my eyes on his...
'I'm NOT here to second guess what everyone wants. Its no problem to move it, when you've all decided EXACTLY what's going where...I will re-hang it.'
A silence fell over the office for a moment...then I turned to my colleague...'now then Dave, whats next....'
MossCommuter
Guru
- Location
- Salford
"He had a wound on his leg like a SubWay sandwich that'd been opened"
J1780
Well-Known Member
- Location
- Tight twisty 'road' in Ireland
Daughter......waaah waaah I don't want my cousin relaxing in my seat.
Son......... waaah waaah waaah I want yogurt (which I'm going to spread everywhere).
Little cousin.......sitting quietly wondering what's going on.
Son and daughter in unison...... waaaaah waaaaaaaah.....we don't know what we actually want but well torture mum and dad anyway especially given that we know that they are under pressure given the day that's in it.
Waaah waaah waaah
Son......... waaah waaah waaah I want yogurt (which I'm going to spread everywhere).
Little cousin.......sitting quietly wondering what's going on.
Son and daughter in unison...... waaaaah waaaaaaaah.....we don't know what we actually want but well torture mum and dad anyway especially given that we know that they are under pressure given the day that's in it.
Waaah waaah waaah
