Give me some dialogue from your day

[BigonaBianchi]

Lodger
" Hi, haven't seen you for two days what you been up to?"

Me
"cycling mate...60 miles yesterday, 78 miles today"

Lodger
"oh..didn't you do anything interesting then?"

 

[EltonFrog]

I'm minding my own business, pondering the intricacies of the cheap metal catch of the Black and Decker wheeled tool box in Homebase, when a lady approached me and says

"Do you know where they keep the bicycle pumps?"

"Next door in Halfords" says I.

"oh" says she, "I'll go there then", she continued on her way as if I had inconvenienced her somehow.

Most Odd.

 

[gbb]

A rambling discussion while we were ambling our way through the day...at some stage, nits got mentioned
Me...
'I remember we had nit nurse inspections at school, but i never remembered anyone actually getting nits'
Colleague..
'I don't ever remember a nit nurse when we were at school'
'Seems so common now, its unusual if your kids don't get nits'
'I only had em once, my sister got them so we called her Nitty XXXX Nora'
'Haha, the usual insult...why is it so common nowadays ?...it's something to do with the nit nurses'
'Eh, whats that got to do with it ?, we didnt have nit nurses !'
'Exactly, we did have a nit nurse, we didnt get nits, you didn't have a nit nurse, you DID get nits'
Colleague continues...
' I still dont see what difference the nurse makes'
'I just said...we did have one and didnt get nits....its obvious innit'
'Nah, you just don't remember'
'Perhaps they're becoming immune now ?'..i said.
'Wot, to nit lotion ?'
'Yeah, perhaps they're becoming super nits '

'Like Teenage Mutant Ninja Nits '

.
.
.
.
.
'How did this discussion begin ?...'
'Nits'
'Yeah, but how did nits get brought up in the first place ?'
' I dunno '

 

[Sandra6]

Youngest child (cycling behind me) - It looks like half your wheels under the ground
Me - I think I've got a slow puncture.

 

[GrasB]

Car Dealer: So what did you think?
Me: I'm unconvinced. Totally unconvinced that this car is capable as a sports car
CD: What would convince you to buy this car?
Me: It lacks communication skills, removal of the steerings autistic personality.
CD:
Me: I'm looking for a sports car. That means when I turn into the corner I want to be told what's happening with the front wheels. This simply doesn't talk at all.
CD: Er... this has out best suspension & really grips in the corners.
Me: Yes, but it doesn't talk to me.
CD:
Me: Leave it at that & I'll get back to you on the very slim off chance I want one. See you.
CD: Er... ... bye!

 

[ufkacbln]

After some long days I have a touch of Dhobi itch, so went to get some Cannestan cream....

Me :Can I have some Canesten cream
Pharmacy assistant: Has your wife you seen your doctor/
Me:No - She doesn't don't need to, I simply want to buy a tube of Canestan
Pharmacy assistant: You know it has to be externally used - you mustn't use it in the vagina
Me: I haven't actually got one!
Pharmacy assistant: But Canestan is for women....
Me: No it isn't, clotrimazole is not gender specific, can I please buy a tube of Canestan.
Pharmacy assistant: But you should see a doctor as it contains steroids
Me: No it Doesn't
Pharmacy assistant: It contains Hydrocortisone
Me: No it doesn't
Pharmacy assistant: But that is how it works
Me: No it doesn't the active ingredient is a fungicide called clotrimazole, The Hydrocortisone is in a specific package, Canestan HC and that isn't the one I want
Pharmacy assistant: But you can't jut use it without medical advice
Me: Yes I can - that is why it is an over the counter medicine
Pharmacy assistant: Well I can't sell it to you
Me: Yes you can, can I speak to the pharmacist

Exeunt stage left

Pharmacist comes across...

Pharmacist: Can I help
Me: Can I buy some Canestan cream?
Pharmacist: What is it for?
Me: Dhobi itch, a small area of fungal infection
Pharmacist: Here you are then Sir!
Me: Thank you

 

[laurence]

"gotcha!"

that was me, about ten minutes ago. the reason, one of the baby Viper Geckos i bought a couple of weeks ago had escaped within a few days. it jumped off my hand as i was trying to tempt it with a mealworm.

anyway, as it's about the size of my thumbnail, finding it has proved hard. i've left a heat-mat on in the area of escape. places the boxes of crickets out in view of possible hiding places. searched and searched again. tonight i turned the heat mat on again and a few minutes later looked under the small piece of wood on the mat and there it was! managed to grab it before it scarpered and popped it back into its box. it looked ok, but i'll leave it for now and check in the morning... i had put dome food in the box for the remaining one, so it should be ok.

what a relief!

 

[MossCommuter]

In the Pound Shop:

Her: oh, look, a three way adapter
Him: but you only need a two way one
Her: OK, I'll leave it

 

[Lullabelle]

TVC: oh, you have bought some sweetpeas in,
Me: yes about an hour ago whilst you were sitting there, couldn't you smell them
TVC: erm no....

 

[Born2die]

Another cyclist: nice bike got it from halfords is it amg good

Me: yes fast light agile good value

Ac: yes they are good at halfords I always get them to do my servicing and odd jobs on the bike

M: yes mate each to there own

Has to be said he was on a tourer doing the shopping run

 

[SatNavSaysStraightOn]

I'm cycling along at a stunning pace of 5.6kph trying my hardest to continue in the gear I am in without dropping down, waiting for my OH to catch me up when another cyclist comes along in the other direction. I can see he is clearly confused as to why a road cyclist would be going soooo slowly on this road, so I say a big cheery hello & good morning and give a reasuring 'yes, I'm OK thank you' impression. Shortly afterwards my OH catches me up.

Me: I take it all was revealed to the oncoming cyclist in a literal sense rather than physical sense?
OH: Yep - I had finished and was cycling again.
Me:

I have seriously considered renaming our journals to "scent marking his way around xyz"...

 

[numbnuts]

......< silence > ...... I haven't spoken to anybody today

 

[MontyVeda]

not even yourself?

 

[Hill Wimp]

Put the rent up to buy a new bike which will make up for the lodgers lack of ...... mmmm life ?

 

[Hill Wimp]

It's not . It was in response to an earlier quote which for some reason didn't quote as it should. Apologies.