Give me some dialogue from your day

[Arch]

[QUOTE 2577533, member: 45"]Tomsk[/quote]


I seem to remember he was strong but a bit thick...

Thanks.

Today I got an email from a prospective customer (not) saying:

Hi RU AGroma. I wun my dg dn asap plz. Its 2 fkn hot 4it.
I dun git pyd til 2 wks but u cn do im an I py u in 2 wks tm.
lol lol im onest n wl py. tx Beccy

I replied (upon the advice of my fellow grooming buddies):
Hi Bky, sry dnt d crdt fr ppl t fkn lzy t s vwls.

Did I do right? I am still not overly sure what I have replied but the first one was translated amid much guffawing by my colleagues.

 

[gbb]

Just having strode into the hotel next door to ours... rather angrily but respectfully to the two guys on reception..
'You have a guest in the pool area who is shining a laser pen into my room and balcony...and right into my eyes'
'We already had a phone call sir, we have spoken immediately to the person involved, it wont happen again.'
'Thankyou...that was me, I just wanted to make sure they understood how dangerous those things are'
'All sorted sir, can I offer you a drink?'
'Thankyou, no need...thanks again'

When i got back to my room the wife said...just after you left the room, one of their staff strutted straight out and had words with them.

Nice to see the hotels clamp straight down on stupidity.

 

[laurence]

"ok, next, the reptile house"

it was a team away day at my new job... we went to the zoo!

 

[hopless500]

Travelling to OH's parents to fit a new gate:

Him: Hope I've made it the right size
Me: Have you got a hacksaw?
H: Yes, why?
M: <facetiously> So you can 'amend' it if necessary.
H: It's for sawing through the gate bolts. Using it on the gate would be like bludgeoning it with a candle.
M: Why would you want to bludgeon it with a candle? Wouldn't do much, would it?
H: No. You couldn't bludgeon anything with a candle........ <a few seconds silence>...... apart from a cream cake.
M: Yep, that would probably work. But why would you want to? Dreadful waste of a cream cake.
H&M together: Yep.......

followed by thoughtful silence

 

[gbb]

A few examples of chit chat on holiday with the locals trying to lure you into their shops etc...all banter and with a smile
'Hey lady, come and have a look in my shop, cheap as chips'
'Thankyou, we're just walking' replied the wife.
'No problem lady, walk in my shop then....'
That got a laugh and the thumbs up from is.

Me to shopkeeper. ?.
'How much for those two ?'
'160 lira my friend'
Quick calculation....wayyyyyy yoo much.....he senses my hesitation and says...
'Ok, 100 lira ?'
The wife interjects...
'Nooo, too much....clothes very cheap in england'
'Ok, make me an offer'
'You wont like my offer, 60 lira' I reply
A look of resignation on his face, but he's not done yet...
'80 lira, come on my friend, shake hands on 80 lira'
The wife is now walking towards the door, a tactic she likes using...'60 lira'
He looks imploring at me, '70 lira, I already give you fantastic discount'
'65 lira then' I counter offer.
'70 ?' He tries to stick to his guns.
I hold out my hand with 65 lira....'shake hands on 65 or my wife will be out the door'
'Ok, ok, 65, your wife is tough my friend'

We probably still overpaid a bit, but its all good fun, all done with a smile.

And then, at the other end of the scale, we brought three items in a pukker local shop, not somewhere you'd expect to heavily barter...
The wife asks me how much it all is..
'75 lira, ive already clocked the price tabs'
'Dont pay full, make them an offer'
'Already ahead of you, I'm going to offer 60 but don't know if it'll work here'
So I ask how much...
'60 lira please sir'

Oh, I almost felt cheated....only joking...they had a bloomin great discount offer plastered all over the windows, I hadnt seen it.


Slightly dropped a clanger, walked up to a mosque, we'd have liked to look inside. I can see a plaque with do's and do nots....I walk forward to read it, missing the fact I'd stepped onto the entrance rugs...
' Hey mister, your shoes' pointing at the rug..said a turkish gentleman rather sternly but kindly at the same time.
'Errrrr, sorry'

 

[swee'pea99]

Overheard in the pub: "When I was a boy I used to look as far as I could from my bedroom window, trying to see China." "China?" "Yes. I've always felt a connection with China. I think I lived in China in a previous life."

 

[Arch]

NT is going to construct some shelving at my work, and needs to buy timber on Monday.

NT: I'll need some cash to get the stuff, do you think they'll be ok to give me some petty cash?
Me: Oh, I should think so. Anyway, if you run away, they've got me hostage!
NT: If I run away, they've got my tools, which are more valuable.
Me: You wanna think about that?
NT: I mean more valuable than the petty cash amount, not you!
Me: I know....

 

[MossCommuter]

Very loud lady at the other end of a mobile phone conversation that I was not party to, other than as an eavesdropper (it is 13h35 ish): "Piss off, I am having my brunch"

 

[Firestorm]

A cyclist told me that he didn't signal "because his brake is on that side"

 

[colly]

A recent post reminded me of this.

Watching the Kenny Everett show with an 8 yr old niece (sometime ago)

Kenny Everett: 'ello Sid Snot 'ere.

Minute or so later:

Niece: 'Well if Sid isn't there...where is he?'

 

[Arch]

My colleague climbed up on top of our electric vehicle to trample the cardboard down a bit, and told me to carry on to the next street, which I did, slowly.

When we got there, and he got down, I said "Did you have fun up there?"

Him: Yes. I was imagining what it was like to be a small electric bird that couldn't fly very fast.

Later on, situation repeats:

Me: Are you going to be an electric bird again?
Him: Yes.
Me: What sort of bird?
Him: Coooo cooo coooo
Me: Ah, an electric pigeon!

It's stuff like that which keeps us sane!

 

[Spinney]

Although some bystanders may beg to differ...

 

[SatNavSaysStraightOn]

My colleague climbed up on top of our electric vehicle to trample the cardboard down a bit, and told me to carry on to the next street, which I did, slowly.

<snip>

It's stuff like that which keeps us sane!

you have reminded me of what my OH emailed me today (away from home yet again... not sure I will actually know who he is when he finally comes on holiday with me), so closest thing to a 'human' conversation I get if I exclude myself talking to the dog...
The email was entitled "It's lemmings day!" and a link to a conversation I recorded in our journal 2 years ago today whilst on tour in the very far north of norway...

... all of the dead mountain lemmings in the road! There were that many of them, that at intervals, the dead lemmings were controlling where we could cycle on the road without hitting them constantly... I would yell 'lemming' (or sometimes guinea pig when I forget what they are called - their colours match one of our old guinea pigs exactly). This started as a hazard warning to Stuart - he ran over a dead hedgehog on one occasion and complained that it was slippery - cyclists are used to the cry of 'hole' as a warning after all. Stuart started to reply 'pancake' when he came across the lemming I had called out. So now pancakes are associated with lemmings - part way through today, this led to me overhearing a conversation Stuart was having with himself, using 2 voices [Wooster & Jeeves],
'lemming', comes the yell
'pancake', is the reply
'don't you mean lemons sir?'
'No - lemmings, what else do you squeeze on to pancakes?'
Some days I am not sure if I should be worried about him!

 

[Arch]

Although some bystanders may beg to differ...

The same colleague today, talking about the short distance between stops: (get back in the vehicle to ride, or walk?)

Him: I'll walk.
Me: I think you should skip instead.

So he did.

Just as a resident came out to put their recycling out... He just skipped up to him, took the box and brought it to the vehicle.

I like to think our entertainment value adds to our service.

 

[Andy_R]

The same colleague today, talking about the short distance between stops: (get back in the vehicle to ride, or walk?)

Him: I'll walk.
Me: I think you should skip instead.

So he did.

Just as a resident came out to put their recycling out... He just skipped up to him, took the box and brought it to the vehicle.

I like to think our entertainment value adds to our service.

Some are touched with greatness, some are touched with godliness, and some are just touched.