Give me some dialogue from your day

[Ciar]

uneventful day, but I did have to pop out and buy my mum a new mobile, some little daffodil decided that while she was asleep in bed at queens hospital romford on Saturday, to half inch it!

 

[Lanzecki]

Last night the wife had a couple of Bailey's and was scouring t'interweb for holiday ideas, it turned out that we can either both get next week or never! So she asked me about a Tipi (tepee, teepees are also available) by the side of Coniston Water. I agreed it'd be nice.

Wife (this morning): Oh no, I've just realised that a tipi is like a tent, that means we're camping!

(I'm just happy we're near bike and boat hire, although the weather is looking wet, very wet!)

Sounds like you are going glamping (Glamorous camping). Don't worry, it's all good. All mod cons usually. Some with real beds.

Tarp tent's are my fav

 

[Arch]

TV trailer: <yada yada blah blah>"...Tasmainian Devil..." <yada yada blah blah>
Mum: "What's that? A pig?
Me: "No, a Tasmainian Devil.
Mum: "A dog?"
Me: "No, a Tasmainian Devil.
Mum: "A pig then.
Me: "No, a Tasmainian Devil.
Mum: "That's a funny looking dog!
Me:

Sometimes I can't work out if they just don't listen to you, or they're winding you up on purpose!

 

[swee'pea99]

They spent a lot of time taking photos of each other, and asking other people to take photos of them on the rug. Later, one was scrolling through her iphone images and I could see the photos. Her on the rug, her and her friend on the rug, her in a red dress, her in a blue dress, her looking at herself in a long mirror, her looking at her face in a mirror....

It was all photos of herself.

Reminds me of when I worked in a photographic shop. During those long boring periods (of which there were many) we used to trawl through people's developed films in search of readers' wives shots. One film was clearly holiday snaps from some pretty exotic location. First shot: him in front of something. Second shot: her in front of something. Third shot: the two of them in front of something. And so on. They had two films, and there wasn't a single shot on either one that didn't fall into one of those three categories. Naturally when he came in, I checked out his camera. Top of the range Nikon. Just the thing, for taking photos of etc etc...

 

[gbb]

The wife and myself are sat under the gazebo, its cooler now and quite nice after a day that was too much for me..
I'd sleep outside tonight just to stay cool' she said.
'You'd need a mosquito net mind' I replied, and then silliness took over...
'And that would keep the bats at bay, but you'd need something for the foxes..ooh, and the badgers, theyll have your face off, you need a badger net'

She looked up, and gave me that look, .

'Not sleeping outside then ?' I asked.

 

[ColinJ]

Sister: "Have you heard the news?"

Me: "What news?"

Sister: "About the Royal baby ..."

Me: "No."

Sister: "Er ... The Royal baby has been born."

Me: "Okay, and ... ?"

Sister: "And it's a boy!"

Me: "And ...?"

Sister: "And he weighed [something or other] and [his mum, Princess wotsit] is doing well!"

Me: "Okay, and ...?"

Sister: "And I thought you'd like to know!"

Me: "If I were interested, I'd have been watching the news."

....

Me: "I was not watching the news!"

 

[MossCommuter]

Me: steak and kidney pie with mash and veg please and a pint of Gladness please
Barmaid: steak and kidney pie?
Me: yes please
Barmaid: would you like jacket, boiled, mash or chips?
Me: mash please
Barmaid: and veg or salad?
Me: veg please
Barmaid: anything to drink
Me: a pint of Gladness please

 

[Matthew_T]

I have just passed my driving test and immediately call my mother when I get home.

Me: Hi mum.
Her: Hi. So, how did you do?
M: Well, unfortunately I failed.
H: Oh. What did you fail on?
M: I got 6 minors and one serious.
H: What was the serious?
M: I pulled out in a roundabout infront of someone.
H: Oh.
*Pause*
M: I'm joking! I actually passed!
H: Ah! Well done. I knew you could do it. How did you do?
M: I got 6 minors.
H: Was you instructor happy?
M: Yeah. He drove me home and took a picture of me infront of the car.
H: You will have to show me when I get home. Well done.
M: Thanks.
H: I bet your pleased arent you?
M: Yeah. (Starting to get upset) I am so glad it is out of the way.
H: Dont cry you are making me upset.
M: Sorry.
H: What would it look like if one of my colleagues walk in and see me crying?
M: *Sob*
H: I've got to go now, but I will see you when I get home.
M: Okay.

I then cried for another few mins. I just couldnt contend myself.

 

[fimm]

<overheard>
Person 1: Well "they" said it was going to be called either George or Victoria.
Person 2: Its a boy, so it won't be called Victoria...

 

[Andy_R]

Small boy "Dad, what's Chris Froome's favourite biscuit?"
Me "Dunno"
Small boy "A Breakaway!"
Me "Groan...that's terrible son"

 

[Lanzecki]

<overheard>
Person 1: Well "they" said it was going to be called either George or Victoria.
Person 2: Its a boy, so it won't be called Victoria...

They should get more with the times. Naming the child (Or future king) a more modern name will allow him to connect with today's modern society. I favour Wayne. Maybe Trevor. Or use the method the beckhams's used, name it after the place of conception.

You know, sometimes I offend myself with you own ideas. I think I should censor my brain

 

[gbb]

Having failed to diagnose why an industrial fridge unit had no display, voltage is present before and after the isolator, connections are good, no breakers are tripped. I gave in at that point, assuming the display/ progrmammer has failed. We called in an electrician that was on site anyway, he solved it in minutes. Bugger...

MD to me..
'What did you learn with the electrician re the fridge unit Colin ?'
'Haha, never trust your own eyes. It was a failed breaker. The breakers were all made, it never occured to me to test them, I expe cted a failed breaker to have 'tripped'...in future, test everything'

 

[Saluki]

Person: Hello is that the dog groomer?
Me: Yes, can I help you?
Person: How much to clip my 2 lambs?
Me: excuse me?
Person: Lambs Mrs, Lambs. Like sheep only smaller?
Me: You need a sheep shearer, not a dog groomer.
Person: You are only a woman so will be cheaper.
Me: Goodbye

 

[colly]

Or use the method the beckhams's used, name it after the place of conception.

'King Inthebackofthehelicopterhwhennoonewasabout' ? Doesn't add much to the heritage really.

 

[colly]

'Hi Pete. You Ok'
'Yeah fine'
'Look I'm going to be about 20 mins late. You fancy walking down and I'll meet you at mine?'
'OK. Jackie says will Sue get her some orange juice?'
'Yeah OK. I'll tell her'
..........................ooops sorry

Wrong thread.