Give me some dialogue from your day

[Herr-B]

Just fitted a pair of wiper blades for a customer after he paid by card he produced a quid out of his pocket handed it to me and said..............

Take yourself 50p out of that!

Oh well 50p for the carbon fund

You're lucky to get that, wiper blades are even easier than refuelling. Unless the car is over 20 years old and has funny, fiddley fittings.

 

[simon the viking]

You're lucky to get that, wiper blades are even easier than refuelling. Unless the car is over 20 years old and has funny, fiddley fittings.

I'm happy to fit for free as customer service I just thought 50p was worse than no tip (especially after asking me to split a quid in the till to give it to me)

 

[Herr-B]

I'm happy to fit for free as customer service I just thought 50p was worse than no tip (especially after asking me to split a quid in the till to give it to me)

Yeah, you could be right there. Hope you gave the change in small change.

 

[Houthakker]

Sitting in my office alongside a busy city centre street with the window open, and heard a voice. Looked out and saw 2 scrotes passing the window and approaching a young lady:
Scrote - Hi Luv, want to buy some cannabis?
Lady - No thanks I'm OK

 

[gbb]

Me...squatted down at the dishwasher, emptying it.
'Waaaaaaah '

Wife...
' Oh God, sorry, i'm sorry

She was stood beside me getting some bags of cooked veg out of the microwave, turned round beside me...as the scalding hot drops of water fell down the back of my neck

I made the most of it....i made us a cuppa in protest....i ALWAYS get to make the tea in our house ...that showed her , good and proper

 

[Arch]

Me to Jonny: Shall I get on top or will you?
Jonny: <doubletake>
Both of us:
Jonny: I'll get up there.
Me: Probably best, you'll be better at stuffing it in.
Both of us:

(We were discussing who was going to climb up the vehicle to receive some boxes of recycling to cram into the bags)

 

[Matthew_T]

I am working on the shop floor near the checkout. There is a colleague serving one customer on one till. I notice another customer waiting to be served so head to the till.

Me to woman: Hi, are you being served?
Woman: No.
Me: Okay.

Woman approaches me and I see on the computer screen that someone is in the middle of a sale.

Me (wondering what to do with the sale on the screen): Erm...

My colleague has now finished with her customer and the woman that I am serving heads over to her. I am however just about to serve the customer.

Woman: I'll go to you because I dont know what he is doing.
Me: *Sigh*

I then walk off and continue with what I was doing.
Me: "Frigging moody cow".

I then overhear the woman and my colleague.

Woman: Hang on, thats not right.
Coll: Yes, ___ amount of ___ at ____ price.
Woman: (Now adding up in her head) No, it should be ___.
Coll recalculates it: Oh yes, it is. Sorry about that.

Woman now has a face like a slapped arse.

This was my first problematic customer. Clearly the word 'Trainee Sales Advisor' above my name doesnt mean anything to her. Of course I am not going to know what I am doing. Why dont you be a little bit patient and let me learn?

 

[SatNavSaysStraightOn]

My OH: "it's going green outside"
Me: "it's doing it without me"
My OH: "I don't want you to go green on the outside as well..."
antibiotics are not working...

 

[Night Train]

A friend relating to me the antics of her birthday, drinks and an Indian meal...

Friend: "Anyway, not everyone came to the meal, those who were driving just came to the pub..."

Me (in my head):

 

[Pat "5mph"]

This was my first problematic customer.

No doubt there will be many more to come: be patient with them

 

[Matthew_T]

No doubt there will be many more to come: be patient with them

Its a shame that a fabrics shop tends to consist of the type of customer that knows exactly what they want and will not buy anything else. And what they want tends to be what we dont have in stock, and then when you offer an alternative, they just throw their rag in the air and have a go. Sometimes "the customer is always right" has grounds to be changed to "common sense should prevail".

 

[Pat "5mph"]

Its a shame that a fabrics shop tends to consist of the type of customer that knows exactly what they want and will not buy anything else. And what they want tends to be what we dont have in stock, and then when you offer an alternative, they just throw their rag in the air and have a go. Sometimes "the customer is always right" has grounds to be changed to "common sense should prevail".

Matthew: imagine yourself in a bike shop

 

[swee'pea99]

Just fitted a pair of wiper blades for a customer after he paid by card he produced a quid out of his pocket handed it to me and said..............

Take yourself 50p out of that!

I cannot even begin to get my head round the idea of someone who would tip someone using a pound coin and ask for change. I just can't. That's just *weird*.

 

[simon the viking]

I cannot even begin to get my head round the idea of someone who would tip someone using a pound coin and ask for change. I just can't. That's just *weird*.

my thoughts exactly.... as I've said previously I am happy to fit free with a smile in the name of customer service (and a poke in the eye for a competitor round the corner who charges) and at 40 something I really think I have got past the "here's a quid for yourself young man" age.... I was just gobsmacked at 50p but it has gone in the new bike tin so i'm 50p nearer!

 

[GrasB]

Him: You're wasting your battery!
Me: Er. No.
Him: Your lights are on
Me: Yes, it's a...
Him: so you're wasting battery
Me: No, my light..
Him: YOU TURN THOSE LIGHTS OFF YOU SH..
Me: DYNAMO, you lose. Now piss off!