Give me some dialogue from your day

[Hover Fly]

I try not to stereotype people but...
At work yesterday, Moon bunny, Irish woman of this parish, was unpaid volunteering and helping me check over a 1920s motor launch which was up on a cradle, we had just cleared all the loose bits out and I was on the ground busily listing them.
Me, to MB who was having a good nosey around: "Stick yer head in that aft locker and see if there's any daylight coming in, please"
MB: "Well, pass me the torch"
Me: "Why?"
MB "It is so I can see the daylight, so it is."

 

[SatNavSaysStraightOn]

I try not to stereotype people but...
At work yesterday, Moon bunny, Irish woman of this parish, was unpaid volunteering and helping me check over a 1920s motor launch which was up on a cradle, we had just cleared all the loose bits out and I was on the ground busily listing them.
Me, to MB who was having a good nosey around: "Stick yer head in that aft locker and see if there's any daylight coming in, please"
MB: "Well, pass me the torch"
Me: "Why?"
MB "It is so I can see the daylight, so it is."

Yep - know what you mean. I remember driving through the middle of nowhere in the lakes once with my best friend as passenger, kid brother & sister on the back seat asleep around 1am in the morning, getting to a crossroads where I had to turn right. no moon, no lights just wanted to check it was clear, but one of those junctions where the passenger is in the way of everything, car headlights included. Asked if it was clear and got the responce "I don't know, it's too dark". I settled for that and pulled as she squealed at me, "how can you tell" Same morning she passed her L plate test months later, she wrote her parent's car off the road. I never let her drive me anywhere!

 

[Night Train]

At the auto-jumble today:

Me: "How much is the urinal?"
Strange, hairy, grubby man in showman's caravan: "What's that, love?"

 

[ufkacbln]

Cub Camp with Beavers along for one night

Discussion about parents between the kids and what they are doing, along with the normal shopping, going out and seeing friends,one child pops up with...

"My parents are having some quiet time"

Which was fine until they added:

"....... but I don't know why they call it quiet because they go into their bedroom and make all sorts of funny noises!"

Keeping a straight face was very difficult, but not smiling in a knowing manner when the parents picked up their little darling was even more difficult!

 

[ufkacbln]

I am going out tomorrow evening for a few pints, so catching the bus, which reminded me of a previous journey through Paulsgrove....
Two young ladies sat behind me.....

YL1: "Are you still seeing "Paul""
YL2: "Nah - we split up"
YL1" Why - I thought you were getting engaged"
YL2: "Because he was being unreasonable"
YL1: "In what way?"
YL2: "Well I got drunk and sh@88ed three of his mates at a party and he came over all jealous"
YL1: "He'll just have to get over it - it's not like you were out of order or anything"
YL2: "Exactly"

 

[Chris Norton]

"actresses are the whores of the feckin world"

 

[subaqua]

"can't you just flick the breaker on and get the sockets live."
"No - would you turn the water on without testing the pipes for leaks"
"Good point"
" actually i think you do judging by the amount of water that seems to appear on the floor"

the PH manager now hates me ( not really its just good banter)

 

[gbb]

Nurse..'Mr Whittock, i'm going to have to tell you off, , you really should be following this up with your doctor. You need an Xray and any follow up from there. Your doctors is the right place for you to be'
Me..'I know, , but life is so busy, i know i should have and i know i deserve telling off, but you know how busy life is '
Nurse...'That may be, but you wont be busy when it all goes wrong because you didnt follow up at the doctors , you'll be sorry then '

Various other light hearted banter followed while she listened to my chest etc etc, then she got up and winced
'That looked painful, got a bad back ?'
'Yes, its been playing up for a couple days' she replied.
'Voltarol is your friend, works for me every time'
'Yes i know, i havnt taken anything today, i really should'
'There you go, you're just as bad as the rest of us '

Having done the tapping thing on my back, she said...
'I'm not happy with that, i'm just going to get a doctor to have a look'

A rollicking (done in the best possible taste) followed from the doctor, and he said..
'Xray for you, PLEASE get to your doctors tomorrow, get yourself an Xray and some follow up bloods (that i should have had done in late Feb, for which the nurse also delightedly told me off ) You either have (in all probabilty) an infection, or possibly a mild pneumonia...you REALLY need to take it seriously '

The nurse even followed me out, collared the wife and told her/.....'Make sure he makes an appointment tomorrow, no excuses from him'

This has all stemmed from a real bad chest infection that lasted for 2 months and a further two months on, i can still feel discomfort in my ribcage. When that first showed itself, it was so excruciating, we had to call an ambulance in the night. 4 months later, i still feel slightly short of breath.
I'm a frikking idiot really, the nurse told me so

What a lovely bunch at the Drop In Centre, rollock you with a smile on their faces.

 

[simon the viking]

Mrs Viking (whilst playing Mario Kart on the Wii): This steering Wheel isn't working properly...
Me: I think that has something to do with the half bottle of wine you've drunk...

 

[Lee_M]

Customer Service Rep on phone:"Hi, I know you booked a sailing holiday with us 6 months ago for next week on a shared yacht, but we don't have anyone else booked so there isn't a yacht for you"
Me:"Don't you think telling me this now is a bit late"
CSR:"err.."

FFS, so holiday agreed at work, everything packed, batteries all charged, and no holiday to go to.

Cannot begin to explain how upset I am (way beyond angry as I really really needed to get away)

 

[Night Train]

Customer Service Rep on phone:"Hi, I know you booked a sailing holiday with us 6 months ago for next week on a shared yacht, but we don't have anyone else booked so there isn't a yacht for you"
Me:"Don't you think telling me this now is a bit late"
CSR:"err.."

FFS, so holiday agreed at work, everything packed, batteries all charged, and no holiday to go to.

Cannot begin to explain how upset I am (way beyond angry as I really really needed to get away)

Oh no!

Have you paid?
Do you need the other booking to crew the yacht or can you do without them?
Are they going to sort it for you?

 

[Matthew_T]

I am not understanding why you are not getting a yacht with more space

Exactly what I thought. "on a shared yacht, but we don't have anyone else booked so there isn't a yacht for you" So there is a shared yacht which you share with other people, fair enough. But just because other people havent applied to go on that yacht doesnt mean that it isnt available, it just means that the one person who was booked on it will just be on it. There is a yacht in existence, they havent all just disappeared.

 

[Night Train]

I am not understanding why you are not getting a yacht with more space

I reckon it might be a cost and/or crew issue. Not like it's a mobile home on a camp site is it.

 

[Lee_M]

its because you need at least two people on a yacht - one to helm and one to do rope pulling - and no one else has booked

 

[Lee_M]

Exactly what I thought. "on a shared yacht, but we don't have anyone else booked so there isn't a yacht for you" So there is a shared yacht which you share with other people, fair enough. But just because other people havent applied to go on that yacht doesnt mean that it isnt available, it just means that the one person who was booked on it will just be on it. There is a yacht in existence, they havent all just disappeared.

as above - plenty of yachts but no one to crew for me