Any good jokes ... ?

[Cavalol]

I’d like to vote for the Carol Decker Party, but I can’t see them ever coming t’power.

 

[Cavalol]

I’m going to go outside and then come straight back in wearing a padded envelope.


I’ll be back in a jiffy.

 

[betty swollocks]

I’m going to go outside and then come straight back in wearing a padded envelope.


I’ll be back in a jiffy.

 

[betty swollocks]

I have Spooner's disease. I often weigh a lake at night worrying about it.

What's spooner's disease?

 

[Dayvo]

What's spooner's disease?

It's when you're suffering from a dose of the metal lurgy.

😉

 

[Dayvo]

 

[roley poley]

A man walks into the vets and sits down on the table ,takes his hat off and points to a little tree frog sat on his bald head ..the vet gives him a funny look but goes to scoop the frog off to examine "Good grief it's actually attached to the scalp !! I've never seen anything like it ,when did you notice this?"and the frog says "It started as a wart on my bum a week ago"

 

[bruce1530]

When I was at school, I wasn’t the sharpest tool in the box.....

That was Stanley.

 

[morrisman]

Watson, the games afoot!
FFS Holmes, just call it football like everyone else!

 

[Cavalol]

Yoko Ono's mother, Kim, invented traditional Japanese formal wear.

 

[Tenkaykev]

Yoko Ono's mother, Kim, invented traditional Japanese formal wear.

Ono she didn't

 

[Cavalol]

 

[betty swollocks]

I still can’t believe Minnie Driver wasn’t in 'The Italian Job'.

 

[betty swollocks]

Don't like it when there's.....

 

[glasgowcyclist]

Don't like it when there's...

It took me a while to get that and then I realised it was because I don’t have a...