Any good jokes ... ?

[Seevio]

 

[PaulB]

Most ornamental figurines found in gardens are only 30cm high and wear red hats. It's a little gnome fact.

 

[Joey Shabadoo]

Lidl will open 25 new stores in the UK this year creating 1,000 jobs.

This will include 7 new checkout operators.

 

[Cavalol]

I've heard that a load of Microsoft software has fallen off the back of a lorry.

That’s the Word on the street.

 

[Dave7]

Not a joke as such but I saw an Audi sports car today. On the back was a graphic saying
........
Why are you tailgating me when I am already doing 50 in 30 limit
And BTW
Those blue lights on your roof look rediculous

 

[PeteXXX]

How did the Irish Avon Lady get pregnant?

Max Factor..

 

[Dayvo]

 

[morrisman]

I've just invented a bulletproof vest, made out of several layers of skin from a popular curved yellow fruit.
However an 80's girl group is claiming they own the name I've chosen for my garment.

 

[guitarpete247]

View attachment 536965

Love it. Where can I get one?

 

[Dayvo]

Love it. Where can I get one?

Not sure, but I'm guessing that any printers/tee shirt designers would be able to help out.

 

[ClichéGuevara]

View attachment 536965

Poor Steve is going to find himself wondering why he keeps getting pulled in for shoplifting when everyone starts wearing an identical shirt.

 

[Cavalol]

The man working on the latest revision of the dictionary has just passed away.
I thought he’d be further through than that by now.

 

[Profpointy]

The man working on the latest revision of the dictionary has just passed away.
I thought he’d be further through than that by now.

Did you know that the word "gullible" was first included i the dictionary in the 1972 edition

 

[PaulB]

The man working on the latest revision of the dictionary has just passed away.
I thought he’d be further through than that by now.

I am so fed up being furloughed that I began reading the dictionary from cover to cover. I'm past caring now.

 

[betty swollocks]