Any good jokes ... ?

[Moon bunny]

Who thought re-opening pubs on a Saturday was a good idea? There’ll be drunkenness, fighting, rampant promiscuity, dancing round lampposts, cars overturned, and general mayhem.



I can’t wait.

 

[Darius_Jedburgh]

It will be a joke if we all have to give our details before we are allowed in.

 

[Moon bunny]

(Toptip: your name and address can be checked in seconds, don’t try to make one up.)

 

[Darius_Jedburgh]

And every pub will have the software?

 

[twentysix by twentyfive]

And every pub will have the software?

And every pub will care.........

 

[Dayvo]

😳

 

[Cavalol]

Have you heard about the latest trend for kids to tattoo each other with the image of an emaciated-looking George VI?

Are youth inking wartime thin king?

 

[Cavalol]

I've hired some Jehovah's Witnesses to do some building work on the house. They're coming round tomorrow to start converting the loft.

 

[betty swollocks]

Breaking News
Kenwood has gone into liquidation.

 

[LCpl Boiled Egg]

Breaking News
Kenwood has gone into liquidation.

For some reason, it always amuses me that Kenwood was a company started by Ken Wood. No messing about thinking of a company name!

 

[postman]

I went to Argos yesterday.Does anyone know of a good food mixer.Kenwood someone shouted back.Ok can i talk to him then.

 

[AndyRM]

 

[Moon bunny]

There have been so many accidents to Russian nuclear submarines I am surprised the company building them has not gone under.

 

[Speicher]

There have been so many accidents to Russian nuclear submarines I am surprised the company building them has not gone under.

The company was floated on the stock exchange far too soon.
The number of countries they have been conning towers above anything known before.

 

[CharlesF]

Strange beer to the left of me...

Cheap biscuits to the right.

Here I am...

Stuck in the Lidl with you!