Any good jokes ... ?

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anothersam

SMIDSMe
Location
Far East Sussex
Sorry, I was supposed to tell a joke. I'll go with this oldie but goodie:

A woman gets onto a bus with her baby. The bus driver says, “That’s the ugliest baby that I’ve ever seen. Ugh!”

The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, “The driver just insulted me!”

The man says, “There’s no call for that. You go right up there and tell him off. Go ahead, I’ll hold your monkey for you.”
 

tyred

Legendary Member
Location
Ireland
512862
 

tyred

Legendary Member
Location
Ireland
I went to the supermarket this morning. Tbh it was pretty quiet as usual, specific doors in and separate doors out. Hand sanitiser on table for people to use freely to keep everyone safe, as I was walking in there was an elderly lady walking towards me stooped over, getting lower to the ground as she approached me, weighed down by a heavy groceries basket. Just before she reached the hand sanitiser, she sat the basket down, I asked her could I get them for her, her eyes filled up , I said don't cry, it's only a little gesture, she said, you are standing on my foot. So I lifted her basket, tbh it was quite heavy, especially when I noticed that she had two bottles of whiskey.

I said that will do you for a while, it's not for me she replied, I don't drink, it's for my husband, he rubs it on his sore leg when I go to bed, as I don't like the smell of alcohol, he is a non drinker too. As we walked to the exit doors she told me that she hadn't been out for over a week, that's terrible I said, were you or your husband sick? no she replied, I forgot where I left the car keys, and I eventually found they were found in the freezer.

Is that where you usually keep them?

No, my husband found them when he was looking for some ice for his sore leg. I put the groceries in the car, she thanked me, I said no worries, just a small gesture, she smiled and wound down the window as she drove away, you really are too kind, to be honest I really couldn't have afforded these groceries if you had not come along, and offered to get them for me, you are the fourth lovely young man who has paid for my groceries this month, remember no good deed goes unpaid in heaven, God bless you son, as she drove off leaving me standing there gob smacked and in a state of shock, the manager tapped me on the shoulder, excuse me but your mom never paid for her groceries, she told the cashier that her son was waiting in the car to help her and that he would be paying, that will be €75.72 please.

The moral of the story is, a lot of the kids get a lot flak, because of what a small minority does, there are an awful lot of really great young people out there, respectful, helpful and doing their part during this crisis that we are experiencing. But the question I have is who is watching the oldies? some real bad 'uns out there.
 

Cavalol

Legendary Member
Location
Chester
To make Easter easier, replace the t with an i.
 
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