Any good jokes ... ?

[Chris S]

I rather like the motto of the French Navy.
"To the water; It is the hour"

A little French is required; and maybe a little patience!

 

[roadrash]

 

[Cavalol]

A map of the world's nudist beaches is being drawn up by topoffgraphers.

 

[Cavalol]

I rather like the motto of the French Navy.
"To the water; It is the hour"

A little French is required; and maybe a little patience!

Fantastic!


(I had to use an on-line translator to 'get' it!)

 

[slow scot]

To get a "Fantastic" from the jokemeister has really made my day. I am proud, very proud!

 

[Venod]

My cousin is a boat builder, he has been told to work from home, his sails have gone through the roof.

 

[Archie_tect]

To get a "Fantastic" from the jokemeister has really made my day. I am proud, very proud!

Eleven Eggs! [German]

 

[colly]

🎵Why do birds suddenly appear
Every time you are near?
Just like me, they long to be
Close to you

Why do stars fall down from the sky
Every time you walk by?
Just like me, they long to be
Close to you.🎶










I said "Whoa Karen ...........2 metres,... 2 METRES"

 

[Cavalol]

Not knowing another word for pushing a button in is depressing.

 

[PaulB]

Three weeks! Three bloody weeks ago I sent my hearing aid away to get repaired. I've heard nothing since.

 

[Venod]

Finally managed to secure a delivery slot for our shopping we have ordered, Turkey, (not the country) Sprouts, Christmas Cake, Crackers and Pudding.

 

[Cavalol]

 

[Chris S]

Being under lockdown does not affect people's mental health. The toaster and microwave both agree with me on this.

 

[Cavalol]

Why do people never admit to being just the right amount of whelmed?

 

[Archie_tect]

My wife didn't take it well when she was sent to jail last week.

She completely lost it, screaming and shouting, swearing, then refusing food and water, even smearing her own faeces on the walls.

I'm not playing Monopoly with her ever again.