Any good jokes ... ?
- Thread starter cisamcgu
- Start date
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Dayvo
just passin' through
- Location
- 59° 50′ 5.55″ N, 10° 47′ 41.89″ E
Smokin Joe
Squire
- Location
- Bare headed cyclist, Smoker
As much as I love my cycling and everything that goes with it ... it is taking up far too much of my time.
I am struggling to keep up with everyday basics of cleaning and maintaining my home, so something has to give.
I will be getting rid of my entire collection..
Below is a list of what is available, serious enquiries only please as I do not wish to be insulted with low offers !
Thank you for reading and understanding.
1, Dustpan and broom, 2, Sponges, 3, Toilet spray.
4, Mop and bucket, 5,Window cleaner, 6,Vacuum.
7, Dishwashing liquid,8,Laundry detergent,9, Fabric softener.
10, Laundry basket, 11, Bo- Toilet brush, 12, Cleaning spray.
(Shamelessly plagerised from somewhere else)
I am struggling to keep up with everyday basics of cleaning and maintaining my home, so something has to give.
I will be getting rid of my entire collection..
Below is a list of what is available, serious enquiries only please as I do not wish to be insulted with low offers !
Thank you for reading and understanding.
1, Dustpan and broom, 2, Sponges, 3, Toilet spray.
4, Mop and bucket, 5,Window cleaner, 6,Vacuum.
7, Dishwashing liquid,8,Laundry detergent,9, Fabric softener.
10, Laundry basket, 11, Bo- Toilet brush, 12, Cleaning spray.
(Shamelessly plagerised from somewhere else)
Profpointy
Legendary Member
Semi related was the Les Dawson gag
"my wife has run off with my best friend. Oh I shall miss him"
At the funeral of a friend (she was a good age, so not an unduly sad occasion), the eulogy was given by her ex-husband. He didn't say the joke at the service proper but did use it later. She'd apparently said of him "he was an awful husband, but the best ever ex-husband" as they'd remained friends and he'd also remained friends with the chap she'd left him for. He too had passed on not long before.
"my wife has run off with my best friend. Oh I shall miss him"
At the funeral of a friend (she was a good age, so not an unduly sad occasion), the eulogy was given by her ex-husband. He didn't say the joke at the service proper but did use it later. She'd apparently said of him "he was an awful husband, but the best ever ex-husband" as they'd remained friends and he'd also remained friends with the chap she'd left him for. He too had passed on not long before.
Threevok
Growing old disgracefully
- Location
- South Wales
Which leads me to another joke
Two men playing golf, when a funeral procession goes by.
The one player stops mid-swing and takes his hat off
The other says "That's very respectful of you"
to which he replies
"Well, she was a great wife and mother to the kids and me"
AndyRM
XOXO
- Location
- North Shields
Go on then I'll carry it on.
A bloke at the World Cup Final notices that the seat next to him is empty, looking at the guy on the other side of it he says, 'bloody hell, who'd miss this game?'
To which the other guy replies, 'it was my wife's but she died last week.'
'That's a shame,' says the first one, 'but couldn't you get anyone to come with you?'
'Oh no,' comes the reply, 'they're all at the funeral.'
A bloke at the World Cup Final notices that the seat next to him is empty, looking at the guy on the other side of it he says, 'bloody hell, who'd miss this game?'
To which the other guy replies, 'it was my wife's but she died last week.'
'That's a shame,' says the first one, 'but couldn't you get anyone to come with you?'
'Oh no,' comes the reply, 'they're all at the funeral.'
Beebo
Firm and Fruity
- Location
- Hexleybeef
I’ll give you 50p for the toilet spray. Is it Pine Fresh?
Electric_Andy
Heavy Metal Fan
- Location
- Plymouth
I don't get it
morrisman
Guru
Not just me then
