Chris S
Legendary Member
- Location
- Birmingham
No dyslexia jokes. They're not big, they're not clever and they're not furry.
Any good jokes ... ?
- Thread starter cisamcgu
- Start date
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Skanker
Well-Known Member
- Location
- Walton on Thames
Why do walruses love a tupperware party?
They’re always on the lookout for a tight seal.
They’re always on the lookout for a tight seal.
Joey Shabadoo
My pronouns are "He", "Him" and "buggerlugs"
Skanker
Well-Known Member
- Location
- Walton on Thames
Little Billy came home from school to see the families pet rooster dead in the front yard. Rigor mortis had set in and it was flat on its back with its legs in the air. When his Dad came home Billy said, “Dad our roosters dead and his legs are sticking in the air. Why are his legs sticking in the air?” His father thinking quickly said, “Son, that’s so God can reach down from the clouds and lift the rooster straight up to heaven.” “Gee Dad that’s great,” said little Billy. A few days later, when Dad came home from work, Billy rushed out to meet him yelling, “Dad, Dad we almost lost Mom today!” “What do you mean?” said Dad. “Well Dad, I got home from school early today and went up to your bedroom and there was Mom flat on her back with her legs in the air screaming, “Jesus I’m coming, I’m coming” If it hadn’t of been for Uncle George holding her down we’d have lost her for sure!”
Chris S
Legendary Member
- Location
- Birmingham
Chromatic
Legendary Member
- Location
- Gloucestershire
I've got a coaster with that on it.
Skanker
Well-Known Member
- Location
- Walton on Thames
The other day I was having sex with this married woman when her husband came home early.
She told me I’d have to use the back door and said I’d have to be quick.
On reflection I should have just left, but it’s not every day you get an offer like that
She told me I’d have to use the back door and said I’d have to be quick.
On reflection I should have just left, but it’s not every day you get an offer like that
Joey Shabadoo
My pronouns are "He", "Him" and "buggerlugs"
A horse walks into a bar and orders a drink. The barmaid says "Hey you're in here a lot. Do you think you might be an alcoholic?"
The horse replies "I don't think I am." And poof. Disappears from existence.
Now that joke is a reference to the philosopher Descartes and his famous line "I think, therefore I am."
I could have explained that first, but that would have been putting Descartes before the horse.
The horse replies "I don't think I am." And poof. Disappears from existence.
Now that joke is a reference to the philosopher Descartes and his famous line "I think, therefore I am."
I could have explained that first, but that would have been putting Descartes before the horse.
"Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl."
The priest asks, "Is that you, little Joey Pagano?"
"Yes, Father, it is."
"And who was the girl you were with?"
"I can't tell you, Father. I don't want to ruin her reputation."
"Well, Joey, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later so you may as well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?"
"I cannot say."
"Was it Teresa Mazzarelli?"
"I'll never tell."
"Was it Nina Capelli?"
"I'm sorry, but I cannot name her."
"Was it Cathy Piriano?"
"My lips are sealed."
"Was it Rosa DiAngelo, then?"
"Please, Father! I cannot tell you."
The priest sighs in frustration. "You're very tight lipped, and I admire that. But you've sinned and have to atone. You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months. Now you go and behave yourself."
Joey walks back to his pew, and his friend Franco slides over and whispers, "What'd you get?"
"Four months vacation and five good leads..."
The priest asks, "Is that you, little Joey Pagano?"
"Yes, Father, it is."
"And who was the girl you were with?"
"I can't tell you, Father. I don't want to ruin her reputation."
"Well, Joey, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later so you may as well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?"
"I cannot say."
"Was it Teresa Mazzarelli?"
"I'll never tell."
"Was it Nina Capelli?"
"I'm sorry, but I cannot name her."
"Was it Cathy Piriano?"
"My lips are sealed."
"Was it Rosa DiAngelo, then?"
"Please, Father! I cannot tell you."
The priest sighs in frustration. "You're very tight lipped, and I admire that. But you've sinned and have to atone. You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months. Now you go and behave yourself."
Joey walks back to his pew, and his friend Franco slides over and whispers, "What'd you get?"
"Four months vacation and five good leads..."
Leaway2
Lycrist
- Location
- Manchester (Sale)
