Any good jokes ... ?

[Cavalol]

Neil Sudoku

 

[PaulB]

Warning!! If you have a satnav don't change the voice to Bono from U2. I did last week and now the streets have no name and I still haven't found what I'm looking for.

 

[PaulB]

What do we want?
More Mavis Riley impersonators!

When do we want it?
I don't really know.

 

[tribanjules]

What do we want?
More Mavis Riley impersonators!

When do we want it?
I don't really know.

Got me doing her voice now !!!!

 

[PaulB]

We've done a survey on how people walk home from the pub...

The results are staggering.

 

[further]

More Mavis Riley impersonators!

Who ?????

 

[glasgowcyclist]

View attachment 487240

Neil Sudoku

I’ve often wondered if your username is taken from the medication you’re on.

 

[Dayvo]

 

[PaulB]

What do we want?
More Northern Irish acents.
When do we want them?
Noy.

 

[PaulB]

I get the strong impression people are taking photographs of me. Do you think I'm being Polaroid?

 

[betty swollocks]

Clue: Lay awake

Hanks for your thelp.

 

[betty swollocks]

 

[Cavalol]

People say the man who sold me invisible hearing aids is a conman, but I won’t hear a bad word said about him.

 

[GM]

A bus stops and 2 men get on. They sit down and engage in an animated conversation...

The lady sitting next to them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of them say the following...

"Emma come first.
Den I come.
Den two asses come together.
I come once-a-more!
Two asses, they come together again.
I come again and pee twice.
Then I come one lasta time"...

The lady can't take this any more,
"You foul-mouthed sex obsessed pig".. She retorted indignantly...

"In this country. we don't speak aloud in Public places about our sex lives...

"Hey, coola down lady," said the man.
"Who talkin'abouta sex...? I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spell 'Mississippi"

 

[Cavalol]

A bus stops and 2 men get on. They sit down and engage in an animated conversation...

The lady sitting next to them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of them say the following...

"Emma come first.
Den I come.
Den two asses come together.
I come once-a-more!
Two asses, they come together again.
I come again and pee twice.
Then I come one lasta time"...

The lady can't take this any more,
"You foul-mouthed sex obsessed pig".. She retorted indignantly...

"In this country. we don't speak aloud in Public places about our sex lives...

"Hey, coola down lady," said the man.
"Who talkin'abouta sex...? I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spell 'Mississippi"

Awful and fantastic in equal measure. Get your coat, then take it off again.