Any good jokes ... ?

[Dayvo]

 

[ozboz]

 

[PaulB]

 

[betty swollocks]

Sorry about the lack of apostrophes. But, it's one Shu fits all.

 

[betty swollocks]

 

[Cavalol]

There's a squeak in mi kitchen what am I gonna do? There's a squeak in mi kitchen what am I gonna do? I'm gonna fix that squeak, that's what I'm gonna do I'm gonna fix that squeak. WD40.

 

[Cavalol]

I remember the day I saw a photographer get crushed by a huge block of cheese. We all tried to warn him.

 

[Cavalol]

The police rang me today to say they'd recovered my stolen three piece suite, which was nice of them, as it was starting to look a bit tatty.

 

[Cavalol]

Just took my car for a service and only realised the brakes need doing when I ran over the vicar.

 

[wheresthetorch]

I remember the day I saw a photographer get crushed by a huge block of cheese. We all tried to warn him.

I had to think about that one (and then Google it!).

 

[Cavalol]

Obese people that swing both ways - bi and large I get on with them.

 

[colly]

 

[colly]

Now then Donald my old mate, you're a billionaire.
If you don't like a world of racial harmony why don't you build a rocket and f*** off back to your own planet

 

[PaulB]

Accordion to a recent survey, 99% of people don't notice if random words are replaced by names of musical instruments.

 

[slow scot]

Accordion to a recent survey, 99% of people don't notice if random words are replaced by names of musical instruments.

Thanks for clarinet up for the 99%.