Any good jokes ... ?

[Cavalol]

I didn't know how to spell 'plagiarised', so I copied and pasted it.

 

[Cavalol]

The world's most prolific Facebook contributor has died.

We’ll never see the likes of him again.

 

[benb]

Welcome Back to Invisibility Class
I'm disappointed to see so many of you here.

Private Jenkins, I didn't see you at camouflage training earlier!
Thank you sir!

 

[PaulB]

If you see someone doing the crossword today, lean over them and say 'Seven up is lemonade'.

 

[roadrash]

ive been doing a really hard crossword, ive been stuck on one clue for two weeks...………………….finally got the answer.....fortnight

 

[Cavalol]

What a load of nonsense that 'Desert Island Discs' is. Surely the first record anyone would want is the long distance swimming one?

 

[Joey Shabadoo]

What a load of nonsense that "Make a Wish" charity is. Surely they should be called "Make Another Wish Cos You Obviously Can't Have That One"?

 

[Dayvo]

 

[Dayvo]

 

[Salty seadog]

Three animals were having a huge argument, over who was the best.

The first, a hawk, claimed that because of his ability to fly, he could attack anything repeatedly from above, and his prey had not a chance.

The second, a lion, based his claim on his strength, none in the jungle dared to challenge him.

The third, a skunk, insisted that he needed neither flight nor strength, to frighten off any creature.

As the trio debated the issue, an alligator came along and swallowed them all.

Hawk, lion and stinker.

Straight red. 3 page ban.

 

[raleighnut]

View attachment 466511

 

[Salty seadog]

Make safe things unsafe....

 

[gaz71]

My mate set me up on a blind date.He said "Shes a lovely girl but theres something you should know.... shes expecting a baby".

I felt like a right idiot sitting in the pub wearing nothing but a nappy.

 

[PaulB]

A man fainted inside one of the London Eye capsule this afternoon. Medics say he's slowly coming round.

 

[CharlesF]

Is an argument between two vegans still called “a beef”?