Any good jokes ... ?

[Dave7]

Transgender weightlifter Mary Gregory has vowed to come back after being stripped of 4 titles.
"I just need more work done on my Snatch" - she went onto to say.

 

[betty swollocks]

A man wins second plaice in a cooking competition.
He was beaten by the delicious lemon-flavoured coating on the winner’s fish dish.
As he watches his victor climb the stage to accept his award, he muses ruefully,

‘There but for the glaze of cod go I’.

 

[Lullabelle]

When sewing always remember the importance of pattern placing

 

[PaulB]

I asked my manager if I could have some time off since it was so close to Christmas. It's May, he said so I answered, "May I have some time off since it's so close to Christmas?"

 

[betty swollocks]

I recently got jacuzzi and yakuza confused and really got into hot water with the Japanese mafia.

 

[PaulB]

The UK’S no 1 ventriloquist is celebrating tonight after his wife gave birth to a 7lb 10oz gouncing gagy goy!!..

 

[simon the viking]

I recently got jacuzzi and yakuza confused and really got into hot water with the Japanese mafia.

a like wasn't enough

 

[Cavalol]

Roger Daltrey has written his car off by accidentally filling it with diesel instead of petrol. It won’t get fuelled again.

 

[Dayvo]

Too serious to be a joke, really, but a point well made.

 

[Cavalol]

I just showed my GP the rash on my bum, and he seemed proper uncomfortable-like he didn't want to touch it. He just said 'Make an appointment at the surgery tomorrow', & walked off with his family and shopping trolley.

 

[benb]

Too serious to be a joke, really, but a point well made.

View attachment 466702

There shouldn't be a line between "Stop" and "Express your opinion"
Agree with the sentiment though.

 

[Cavalol]

Sasquatch is disrespected by people who question his existence. Yeti never complains.

 

[Fnaar]

If you see someone doing the crossword today, lean over them and say 'Seven up is lemonade'.

 

[Joey Shabadoo]

What's black and white and red all over?

Spoiler: Spoiler

A penguin holding it's breath

 

[glasgowcyclist]

Transgender weightlifter Mary Gregory has vowed to come back after being stripped of 4 titles.
"I just need more work done on my Snatch" - she went onto to say.

Reminds me of the commentator's quote at the 2008 Olympics:
'This is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning during her warm up and it was amazing.'