Any good jokes ... ?

[simon the viking]

Why do Scuba divers fall backwards when they go in to the water.....

If they fell forwards they'd stay in the boat...

 

[further]

Was on the tv last night somewhere

 

[Threevok]

Was on the tv last night somewhere

You must have a massive TV - to get lost on the top of it

 

[twentysix by twentyfive]

Seaweed is good for you. If you are ever in trouble, sea kelp.

 

[twentysix by twentyfive]

Roman numerals going out of fashion? Not on my watch!

 

[Threevok]

Mrs V (singing in the shower) asks me "Do I sound like Bette Midler?"

I replied "from a distance"

 

[further]

 

[betty swollocks]

My local circus recently got rid of its funny men because they kept falling asleep......

......by holding a dozing clown sale.

 

[roadrash]

One for valentines day...

Roses are red
Violets are blue
im schizophrenic
And so am I..

 

[PeteXXX]

When is the best time to get an appointment at the dentists?

Tooth hurty....

 

[Levo-Lon]

For those who remember...

This is how my nuts feel with my cough


View: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=uNWLC16gyOk

 

[benb]

One for valentines day...

Roses are red
Violets are blue
im schizophrenic
And so am I..

That's dissociative identity disorder.
People suffering from Schizophrenia sometimes hear voices, but they don't have split personalities.

 

[roadrash]

my apologies...

roses are red
violets are blue
I suffer from dissociative identity disorder which is not to be confused with schizophrenia
and so do i

 

[benb]

my apologies...

roses are red
violets are blue
I suffer from dissociative identity disorder which is not to be confused with schizophrenia
and so do i

Better.

 

[Salty seadog]

After sandblasting the metal pan to create an uneven surface, the first layers of teflon get mechanically bonded to the pan, rather than chemically. Rather similar to velcro or ice in an ice tray, but at a very small scale.

That's dissociative identity disorder.
People suffering from Schizophrenia sometimes hear voices, but they don't have split personalities.

Should you be in here, isn't there a party you could be good at.