Any good jokes ... ?
- Thread starter cisamcgu
- Start date
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roadrash
cycle chatterer
- Location
- sitting on the edge of wigan pier
in a while
Salty seadog
Space Cadet...(3rd Class...)
A sobbing Ms Murphy approaches Fr O’Grady after mass.
He says: “So what’s bothering you?”
She replies: “Oh, Father, I’ve terrible news. My husband passed away last night.”
The priest says: “Oh, Mary, that’s terrible. Did he have any last requests?”
"Certainly father," she replied. “He said: “Please Mary, put down that damn gun.”
Two Irishmen were working in the public works department. One would dig a hole and the other would follow behind him and fill the hole in.
After a while, one amazed onlooker said: "Why do you dig a hole, only to have your partner follow behind and fill it up again?"
The hole digger wiped his brow and sighed, "Well, I suppose it probably looks odd because we're normally a three-person team. But today the lad who plants the trees called in sick."
He says: “So what’s bothering you?”
She replies: “Oh, Father, I’ve terrible news. My husband passed away last night.”
The priest says: “Oh, Mary, that’s terrible. Did he have any last requests?”
"Certainly father," she replied. “He said: “Please Mary, put down that damn gun.”
Two Irishmen were working in the public works department. One would dig a hole and the other would follow behind him and fill the hole in.
After a while, one amazed onlooker said: "Why do you dig a hole, only to have your partner follow behind and fill it up again?"
The hole digger wiped his brow and sighed, "Well, I suppose it probably looks odd because we're normally a three-person team. But today the lad who plants the trees called in sick."
EltonFrog
Legendary Member
Three people walk into a butchers shop.
The first says, ‘ well helloo dere, would youse be after ‘aving a couple of dem hi fi speakers for me mams hi fi record player?’
Before the butcher could answer.
The second person said ‘ oy vey already, I need the cables for my amplifier but not so much gelt, already my son, so soon’.
Then the third person butted in.
‘Good afternoon old chap, I wonder if could you furnish me with, at your earliest convenience, a turntable stylus, I would be most awfully grateful, there’s a good chap’
The butcher, finally getting a word in, said ‘ you’re in the wrong shop, we don’t serve stereotypes in here.’
The first says, ‘ well helloo dere, would youse be after ‘aving a couple of dem hi fi speakers for me mams hi fi record player?’
Before the butcher could answer.
The second person said ‘ oy vey already, I need the cables for my amplifier but not so much gelt, already my son, so soon’.
Then the third person butted in.
‘Good afternoon old chap, I wonder if could you furnish me with, at your earliest convenience, a turntable stylus, I would be most awfully grateful, there’s a good chap’
The butcher, finally getting a word in, said ‘ you’re in the wrong shop, we don’t serve stereotypes in here.’
Salty seadog
Space Cadet...(3rd Class...)
Now i'm not calling for a ban butYou should be ashamed of that one.
Joey Shabadoo
My pronouns are "He", "Him" and "buggerlugs"
Every time you smoke a cigarette it takes 3 minutes off your life and gives it to Keith Richards
raleighnut
Legendary Member
- Location
- One of the 'Elite'
This should be in the 'Odd Factoid' thread.
If you changed that to Jim Davidson it'd eradicate smoking entirely in the UK.
Freds Dad
Veteran
- Location
- Gawsworth.
A tractor has just driven past me and the driver shouted “The end is nigh”
I think it was Farmer Geddon.
I think it was Farmer Geddon.
EltonFrog
Legendary Member
betty swollocks
large member
An armour chair??
Beebo
Firm and Fruity
- Location
- Hexleybeef
Nicked off Vic and Bob
Customer to butcher. How do you prepare your turkeys for Christmas.
Butcher. We just tell them straight that they are going to be killed.
Customer to butcher. How do you prepare your turkeys for Christmas.
Butcher. We just tell them straight that they are going to be killed.
