I see what you did there. Very sharp IMO.
Any good jokes ... ?
- Thread starter cisamcgu
- Start date
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Salty seadog
Space Cadet...(3rd Class...)
Joey Shabadoo
My pronouns are "He", "Him" and "buggerlugs"
Stalin is giving a speech to the massed ranks of the Red Army in Moscow when all of the sudden in the midst of a particularly moving segment, he hears a loud, uproarious sneeze coming from amongst the crowd. Stalin stops speaking, glares at the soldiers, becomes very visibly annoyed, and says "Who sneezed?..."
The soldiers don't say anything, some of them start to sweat and others nervously glance around. After a brief moment Stalin motions towards a few soldiers with him on the stage. "Execute the first row..." he commands, and the soldiers on stage begin opening fire at the first row of troops on the ground. A thousand men die as the machine guns rattle.
"I'll ask again, who sneezed?" says Stalin. Another pause, and no one speaks up. "Execute the second row..." he commands, and the soldiers on stage begin opening fire at the second row of troops on the ground. Another thousand men die as the machine guns rattle.
"Once again, who sneezed?" says Stalin. Another pause, and no one speaks up. Finally Stalin says "Execute the..." but before he can finish, a soldier about 4 rows back raises his hand and says "It was me General Secretary Stalin! I'm the one who sneezed."
Stalin then stares cold and hard at the soldier who spoke up for an uncomfortable amount of time, before he leans towards his microphone and says "Bless you."
The soldiers don't say anything, some of them start to sweat and others nervously glance around. After a brief moment Stalin motions towards a few soldiers with him on the stage. "Execute the first row..." he commands, and the soldiers on stage begin opening fire at the first row of troops on the ground. A thousand men die as the machine guns rattle.
"I'll ask again, who sneezed?" says Stalin. Another pause, and no one speaks up. "Execute the second row..." he commands, and the soldiers on stage begin opening fire at the second row of troops on the ground. Another thousand men die as the machine guns rattle.
"Once again, who sneezed?" says Stalin. Another pause, and no one speaks up. Finally Stalin says "Execute the..." but before he can finish, a soldier about 4 rows back raises his hand and says "It was me General Secretary Stalin! I'm the one who sneezed."
Stalin then stares cold and hard at the soldier who spoke up for an uncomfortable amount of time, before he leans towards his microphone and says "Bless you."
guitarpete247
Just about surviving
- Location
- Leicestershire
E won.
Leaway2
Lycrist
- Location
- Manchester (Sale)
TNM to me.
glasgowcyclist
Charming but somewhat feckless
- Location
- Scotland
They don't count, they're consonants.
twentysix by twentyfive
Clinging on tightly
- Location
- Over the Hill
I said to the gym instructor: “Can you teach me to do the splits?”
He said: “How flexible are you?”
I said: “I can’t make Tuesdays.”
He said: “How flexible are you?”
I said: “I can’t make Tuesdays.”
Arjimlad
Tights of Cydonia
- Location
- South Glos
Typically, by the winners. Some say it was a stitch-up!
