Any good jokes ... ?

Page may contain affiliate links. Please see terms for details.

Moon bunny

Judging your grammar
The BBC have announced that, going forwards, the composer Benjamin Britten will be referred to as Benjamin Ewechai.
 
OP
OP
cisamcgu

cisamcgu

Legendary Member
Location
Merseyside-ish
Two beekeepers talking and one asks the other how may bees he has got.
Ten thousand.
Then thousand bees,that sounds like a lot, and how many hives?
Twenty hives.
Second keeper then asks the first how many bees he has got.

First keeper replies a million bees.
God, that's loads, and how many hives?
Just the one.
A million bees in one hive! Isn't that a bit cruel?

Nah, f*** 'em, the're only bees.

Nope, don't get it :sad:
 

georginas dad

Über Member
Location
Frimley
A stranger was seated next to a little girl on the airplane when the stranger turned to her and said, 'Let's talk. I've heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger.'
The little girl, who had just opened her book, closed it slowly and said to the stranger, 'What would you like to talk about?'
'Oh, I don't know,' said the stranger. 'How about nuclear power?' and he smiles. OK, ' she said.
'That could be an interesting topic. but let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff - grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?'
The stranger, visibly surprised by the little girl's intelligence ... thinks about it and says, 'Hmmm, I have no idea.'
To which the little girl replies, 'Do you really feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don't know shoot?
 

XRHYSX

A Big Bad Lorry Driver
There needs to be a shorter word for procrastination.

I often get distracted whilst typing it.
 

PaulB

Legendary Member
Location
Colne
Thibodeaux and Boudreaux entered a chocolate store. As they were looking at the chocolate, Thibodeaux stole 3 chocolate bars. When they left the store Thibodeaux said to Boudreaux, "I'm the best thief, I stole 3 chocolate bars and no one saw me put them in my pocket. You cant beat that.

Boudreaux replied: "You want to see something better? Let's go back to the shop and I'll show you real stealing." I'll steal while the shopkeeper is watching me and he won't even know.

So they went to the counter and Boudreaux said to the shopkeeper: "Do you want to see a great magic trick?" The shopkeeper replied: "Yes" Boudreaux said: "Give me three chocolate bars. " The shopkeeper gave him three chocolate bars and Boudreaux ate all three. The shopkeeper asked: "But where's the magic ?"

Boudreaux replied: "Look in Thibodeaux's pocket."
 

Cubist

Still wavin'
Location
Ovver 'thill
Paddy's watching Babestation one night. He dials the number on screen and says to the model "Would you do me a favour and hide behind that sofa you're lounging on?"

"Ooh, is this some sort of kinky game?" asks the model

"No," Says Paddy, " I can hear the missus coming downstairs and I can't find the fecking remote."
 
Top Bottom