Any good jokes ... ?
- Thread starter cisamcgu
- Start date
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simon the viking
Guru
Continuing the Little Johnny jokes...
Little Johnny had been absent from school for a few days so fearing truancy his teacher went to his house to have a word with his parents
Little Johnny opened the door..
Hello Johnny is your dad in?
He was in but he out now
Is your mum in?
She was in but she out
He out now? She out now? Where's your grammar?
Oh she is in the front room watching the telly....
And...
When he was back at school he was asked to write a sentence with defeat defence and detail in....
The horse jumped over defence defeat before detail...
I'll get my own coat thanks......
Little Johnny had been absent from school for a few days so fearing truancy his teacher went to his house to have a word with his parents
Little Johnny opened the door..
Hello Johnny is your dad in?
He was in but he out now
Is your mum in?
She was in but she out
He out now? She out now? Where's your grammar?
Oh she is in the front room watching the telly....
And...
When he was back at school he was asked to write a sentence with defeat defence and detail in....
The horse jumped over defence defeat before detail...
I'll get my own coat thanks......
betty swollocks
large member
Oooooh, I feel for you there.
Attachments
DaveReading
Don't suffer fools gladly (must try harder!)
- Location
- Reading, obvs
Followed by a lecture on the difference between prepositions and pronouns, presumably ?
LCpl Boiled Egg
Three word soundbite
Once I saw this guy on a bridge about to jump. I said, "Don't do it!" He said, "Nobody loves me." I said, "God loves you. Do you belivee in God?"
He said, "Yes." I said, "Are you a Christian or a Jew?" He said, "A Christian." I said, "Me, too! Protestajnt or Catholic?" He said, "Protestant." I said, "Me, too! What franchise?" He said, "Baptist." I said, "Me, too! Northern Baptist or Southern Baptist?" He said, "Northern Baptist." I said, "Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist or Northern Liberal Baptist?"
He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist." I said, "Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region, or Northern Conservative Baptist Eastern Region?" He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region." I said, "Me, too!"
Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1879, or Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912?" He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912." I said, "Die, heretic!" And I pushed him over.
He said, "Yes." I said, "Are you a Christian or a Jew?" He said, "A Christian." I said, "Me, too! Protestajnt or Catholic?" He said, "Protestant." I said, "Me, too! What franchise?" He said, "Baptist." I said, "Me, too! Northern Baptist or Southern Baptist?" He said, "Northern Baptist." I said, "Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist or Northern Liberal Baptist?"
He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist." I said, "Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region, or Northern Conservative Baptist Eastern Region?" He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region." I said, "Me, too!"
Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1879, or Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912?" He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912." I said, "Die, heretic!" And I pushed him over.
glasgowcyclist
Charming but somewhat feckless
- Location
- Scotland
What do you call a man who sounds like a paper bag?
Russell.
P.S. There's a journalist called Nina Nannar currently working for ITV (she was formerly with BBC, which was where I'd first heard her name.)
Chris S
Legendary Member
- Location
- Birmingham
Apparently Trill is made out of hemp seed. When I was at school there was a rumour going around that not all the seeds had been sterilized and if you planted enough of them then you could grow eventually grow a cannabis plant.
Chris S
Legendary Member
- Location
- Birmingham
She was on the Midlands local news for years. I wonder if she ever got called 'Nina Nannar Nannar Nu' at school?
