TBH I didnt until I read your comment.
Any good jokes ... ?
- Thread starter cisamcgu
- Start date
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raleighnut
Legendary Member
- Location
- One of the 'Elite'
Salty seadog
Space Cadet...(3rd Class...)
I know a mathematician who hates negative numbers......
He'll stop at nothing to avoid them.
Of course there are really only three types of mathematician,......
Those who can count and those who can't.
He'll stop at nothing to avoid them.
Of course there are really only three types of mathematician,......
Those who can count and those who can't.
roadrash
cycle chatterer
- Location
- sitting on the edge of wigan pier
constipated mathematicians work it out with a pencil
raleighnut
Legendary Member
- Location
- One of the 'Elite'
There there.
Leaway2
Lycrist
- Location
- Manchester (Sale)
And if it is really hard they use logs.
glasgowcyclist
Charming but somewhat feckless
- Location
- Scotland
John Napier had to use his rods!
The teacher said to the kiddies.....give me a sentence with the word nice in.
Little Mary said.....we went to the zoo on Saturday and it was very nice.
Little Susan said.....I had ice cream last night and it was very nice.
Teacher said......right, a sentence with the word nice twice.
Silence.
Then little Johnny said.......last night my big sister told Dad she was pregnant. Dad said....oh thats nice, thats very bloody nice.
Little Mary said.....we went to the zoo on Saturday and it was very nice.
Little Susan said.....I had ice cream last night and it was very nice.
Teacher said......right, a sentence with the word nice twice.
Silence.
Then little Johnny said.......last night my big sister told Dad she was pregnant. Dad said....oh thats nice, thats very bloody nice.
Globalti
Legendary Member
I've just been attacked in the street by a bunch of mime artists. They did unspeakable things to me.
Last night I spotted an old TV my neighbour had left out. It had a notice attached, which said: "Free to a good home - volume stuck on full". I Thought: "I can't turn that down!"
Last night I spotted an old TV my neighbour had left out. It had a notice attached, which said: "Free to a good home - volume stuck on full". I Thought: "I can't turn that down!"
Joey Shabadoo
My pronouns are "He", "Him" and "buggerlugs"
A man is walking home from the pub late one night along a foggy country lane when behind him he hears
BUMP!…
BUMP…
BUMP…
Walking faster, he looks back and through the fog he makes out the image of an upright casket banging its way down the middle of the lane toward him.
BUMP…
BUMP…
BUMP…
Terrified, the man begins to run toward his home, the casket bouncing quickly behind him
FASTER…
FASTER…
BUMP…
BUMP…
BUMP…
He runs up to his door, fumbles with his keys, opens the door, rushes in, slams and locks the door behind him. However, the casket crashes through his door, with the lid of the casket clapping...
clappity-BUMP…
clappity-BUMP…
clappity-BUMP…
…on his heels, the terrified man runs.
Rushing upstairs to the bathroom, the man locks himself in. His heart is pounding; his head is reeling; his breath is coming in sobbing gasps.
With a loud CRASH the casket breaks down the door.
Bumping and clapping toward him.
The man screams and reaches for something, anything, but all he can find is a bottle of cough syrup!
Desperate, he throws the cough syrup at the casket…
and,
[Wait for it...]
The coffin stops.
BUMP!…
BUMP…
BUMP…
Walking faster, he looks back and through the fog he makes out the image of an upright casket banging its way down the middle of the lane toward him.
BUMP…
BUMP…
BUMP…
Terrified, the man begins to run toward his home, the casket bouncing quickly behind him
FASTER…
FASTER…
BUMP…
BUMP…
BUMP…
He runs up to his door, fumbles with his keys, opens the door, rushes in, slams and locks the door behind him. However, the casket crashes through his door, with the lid of the casket clapping...
clappity-BUMP…
clappity-BUMP…
clappity-BUMP…
…on his heels, the terrified man runs.
Rushing upstairs to the bathroom, the man locks himself in. His heart is pounding; his head is reeling; his breath is coming in sobbing gasps.
With a loud CRASH the casket breaks down the door.
Bumping and clapping toward him.
The man screams and reaches for something, anything, but all he can find is a bottle of cough syrup!
Desperate, he throws the cough syrup at the casket…
and,
[Wait for it...]
The coffin stops.
Salty seadog
Space Cadet...(3rd Class...)
Nobber...
roadrash
cycle chatterer
- Location
- sitting on the edge of wigan pier
