Any good jokes ... ?

[ClichéGuevara]

A texan walked into a bar in Ireland, and announced "I hear you Irish are big drinkers. I'll give $1,000 to anyone that can drink 10 pints of Guinness back to back"

The pub went silent, one man left, and nobody took up the challenge.

30 minutes later, the guy that left came back and asked the texan, "is the challenge still on?"

It was, the beer was lined up, and the guy swiftly downed the 10 pints, and took the money.

"That was impressive" said the texan, "but where did you go for that half hour?"

"ah" says the guy, "I had to call at the pub down the road to see if I could do it first".

 

[flake99please]

I couldn't find the way out of a multi storey car park earlier so I stopped to ask a white-haired woman for directions.

Amazingly, it was 80s singer Yazz.

What a waste of time....

 

[ozboz]

So. Being deleriousy happy about getting my stolen Surley back , riding home last night from the pub I decided to buy a nice bottle of Tanquerey Gin , it dawned on me that if I came off the bike the bottle may get smashed? What a waste !
So I pulled up at a bench and drank it , turned out was the better option to drink it rather than break it , because I came off the bike 5 times on my way back !

 

[benb]

So. Being deleriousy happy about getting my stolen Surley back , riding home last night from the pub I decided to buy a nice bottle of Tanquerey Gin , it dawned on me that if I came off the bike the bottle may get smashed? What a waste !
So I pulled up at a bench and drank it , turned out was the better option to drink it rather than break it , because I came off the bike 5 times on my way back !

A mere page ago: https://www.cyclechat.net/threads/any-good-jokes.78142/post-5059650

 

[ozboz]

A mere page ago: https://www.cyclechat.net/threads/any-good-jokes.78142/post-5059650

So ?

 

[Mugshot]

A mere page ago: https://www.cyclechat.net/threads/any-good-jokes.78142/post-5059650

To be fair if someone has just drunk a bottle of gin they may not remember things very well.

 

[theclaud]

You've not been on a Cambridge CC meet up have you?

I can't remember whether I've been on one or not.

 

[Mugshot]

You've not been on a Cambridge CC meet up have you?

Yes.

 

[morrisman]

What is the difference between a Hippo and a Zippo?
One is very heavy and the other is a little lighter.

 

[TVC]

You only had half a bottle you lightweight...

That's all that was left after you and Hoppy had been let loose.

 

[Profpointy]

What is the difference between a Hippo and a Zippo?
One is very heavy and the other is a little lighter.

What's the difference between ordinary dal and tarka dal?

One's mildly spiced and the other's a littler 'otter.

 

[ClichéGuevara]

Tough run of fixtures for Enya's new Rugby club....

Sale (A)
Sale (A)
Sale (A)

 

[LCpl Boiled Egg]

What's the difference between a good pair of shoes and a bad drummer?

Well, one bucks up the feet and the other...

 

[ClichéGuevara]

I've applied for a job at The Citroen Factory

I had to send in 2CVs

 

[morrisman]

Did you hear about the dyslexic drunk who choked on his own Vimto.