Any good jokes ... ?

[benb]

What do you call two crows sitting a tree...?





















Attempted murder........

I saw some pigeons trying to vocalise, but failing.
It was an attempted coo.

 

[Hitchington]

How many cross-dressers live near Manchester?

Well, nearly 320,000 people round there have a Wigan address.

 

[mrcunning]

My wifes sister knocked me out yesterday. I was frikkin livid. What kind of sick bitch puts chloroform on her dirty knickers?

 

[Grant Fondo]

What do you call a black man flying a plane?








A pilot, you racist!

 

[TVC]

My wife said that if she caught me watching porn on the computer again she would smash my head into the keybfffffffddddddjjjyyhgggvvvvddd

 

[glasgowcyclist]

Modern knock-knock joke:

Knock Knock


Who's there?



Papers, please, immigrant scum

 

[Markymark]

Frappe frappe!

Qui est la?

Stars

Stars qui?

Stars qui et Hutch

 

[Joey Shabadoo]

Frappe frappe.

Qui est là?

Loste.

Loste qui?

Oui, malhereusement.

 

[Dave7]

How many cross-dressers live near Manchester?

Well, nearly 320,000 people round there have a Wigan address.

Took me a few minutes but I got there

 

[roadrash]

Took me a few minutes but I got there

me too , and i live there

 

[Dave7]

As requested....the 80 year old lady takes all her medicines for the doctor to check.
Mrs Jones, he says "why do you have birth pills?"
She says "they help me sleep at night".
He says "Mrs Jones, there is nothing in them that can possibly help you sleep".
She says....."every morning I crush one up and put it in my 16 year old grandaughters orange juice......believe me....they help me sleep at night"

 

[MarquisMatsugae]

What do you call a dog that can do magic ?
A Labracadabrador

 

[JtB]

What do you call a dog that can do magic ?
A Labracadabrador

Someone's opened a box of Christmas crackers and it's still only early October.

 

[Seevio]

I tried to take the shell off a snail to make it go faster but instead it made it more sluggish.

 

[morrisman]

Hired a gardener today and gave him a list of things to do.
When I got back home he'd only done tasks 1,3 & 5.
Turns out he's an odd job man.