Any good jokes ... ?

[ufkacbln]

Don't use big words with me, what's another word for 'thesaurus'?

 

[Andy_R]

Don't use big words with me, what's another word for 'thesaurus'?

Hang on, I'll just look it up in the thesau........damn!!!

 

[ufkacbln]

I looked up the word "Ninja" in an on-line Thesaurus, and it came back as "not found"

... and so it should, for a well trained Ninja

 

[Andy_R]

I looked up the word "Ninja" in an on-line Thesaurus, and it came back as "not found"

... and so it should, for a well trained Ninja

That's strange. I Googled "Missing medieval servants" and got "404 Error: Page not found"...remarkably similar......

 

[welsh dragon]

What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.


What do you call a lazy kangaroo?

Pouch potatoe

 

[machew]

For my birthday I got given Sudoku toilet paper. It’s useless. You can only fill it in with number ones and number twos.

 

[Joey Shabadoo]

What's large, grey and doesn't matter?




An irrelephant.

 

[Markymark]

I looked up the word "Ninja" in an on-line Thesaurus, and it came back as "not found"

... and so it should, for a well trained Ninja

It was international ninja day today and they were all out celebrating.....apparently.

 

[Joey Shabadoo]

What's a speciman?



An Italian astronaut.

 

[machew]

I wish there was a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence. There’s a knob called brightness, but it doesn’t work!

 

[Poacher]

Another one for the Uxbridge English Dictionary:

Dictator - potato shaped remarkably like a penis

(Inspired, if that's the right word, by my current bedtime reading, Robert Harris's book of the same name)

 

[Cubist]

What's a speciman?



An Italian astronaut.

What's an innuendo?

Italian suppository.

 

[Nibor]

I looked up the word "Ninja" in an on-line Thesaurus, and it came back as "not found"

... and so it should, for a well trained Ninja

I often wonder if there are just as many Ninjas in the UK as there are in Japan only British NInjas are better?

 

[PeteXXX]

Three months ago, I was sitting in my lounge when I heard a slight tapping on the door. When I answered it, there was a snail knocking on the woodwork with its shell.
'Got any lettuce?' it asked...
'Nope, go away!' I told it.
'Oh, go on, you must have some lettuce' it said.
'I haven't got any lettuce.. Hop it'
'Are you sure?' it persisted
At this point, I picked it up and chucked it over the garden fence...

Last night, I heard a tapping noise again. On opening the door, it was the same snail looking up at me.

'There was no need for that!' it shouted..

 

[TwickenhamCyclist]

The Pope and Donald Trump are on a stage in front of a packed stadium. Trump has just whipped the crowed into a frenzy with his bigotry and The Pope says to Trump “Do you know with one little wave of my hand I can make even more people go wild with joy than any of your hateful rhetoric… and this joy will not be a momentary display of admiration by sycophants, but a joy that will enter the hearts of millions and stay there forever?”
Trump replies, “With one little wave of your hand, I seriously doubt you could top that… show me!”
So the Pope waved his hand and pushed Trump off the stage and happiness spread through ought the world…