Any good jokes ... ?

[Markymark]

The Iranian Ambassador to the UN had just finished giving a speech and walked out into the lobby of the convention center where he was introduced to a U.S. Marine General.

As they talked, the Iranian said, "I have just one question about what I have seen in America."

The General said, "Well, anything I can do to help?"

The Iranian asked, "My son watches this show called Star Trek and in it there is ... Kirk who is Canadian, Chekhov who is Russian, Scotty who is Scottish, Uhura who is black, and Sulu who is Japanese, but there are NO Muslims. My son is very upset and doesn't understand why there aren't any Iranians, Iraqis, Afghans, Egyptians, Palestinians, Saudis, Syrians, or Pakistanis on Star Trek."

The General leaned toward the Iranian Ambassador, and whispered in his ear, "That's because it takes place in the future."

hahahaha that's funny because it means that we hate them all so much we've killed them all and their children. hahahahah

Hang on, no, my mistake, you're an idiot.

 

[Scoosh]

Why do Marxists only drink fake tea?

Because all proper tea is theft.

Please try to keep up at the back !

Still, it must be a good one ...

 

[S.Giles]

Please try to keep up at the back !

Still, it must be a good one ...

It's an old favorite of mine.

Please excuse me for not reading through 234 pages of bad jokes before I posted! :-)

 

[swee'pea99]

Please excuse me for not reading through 234 pages of bad jokes before I posted! :-)

We'll overlook it just this once...

 

[S.Giles]

We'll overlook it just this once...

:-)

 

[Scoosh]

It's an old favorite of mine.

Please excuse me for not reading through 234 pages of bad jokes before I posted! :-)

No - please don't read through all the bad jokes, just the good ones - and yes, there are quite a lot, for every sense of humour too !

 

[S.Giles]

No - please don't read through all the bad jokes, just the good ones - and yes, there are quite a lot, for every sense of humour too !

How do I determine which are the good ones without reading them all? If you'd be kind enough to list all the good ones by post number, I'll get right on it! :-)

 

[Markymark]

How do I determine which are the good ones without reading them all? If you would be kind enough to list all the good ones by post number, I'll get right on it! :-)

Sure. Those from @Markymark are all hilarious and worth starting with.

 

[derrick]

How do I determine which are the good ones without reading them all? If you'd be kind enough to list all the good ones by post number, I'll get right on it! :-)

It will be a short list.

 

[theclaud]

KITCHENWARE COMPANY BOSS: So, did you come up with a name for that revolving food tray, Susan?
SUSAN: No, couldn't be arsed.




(@GlennyRodge)

 

[srw]

"Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm in the song Summer Nights"
"Hm, tell me more"
"Wait, we haven't done the wella wella bit yet"
"Get out"

 

[theclaud]

"Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm in the song Summer Nights"
"Hm, tell me more"
"Wait, we haven't done the wella wella bit yet"
"Get out"

There's a lot of mileage in stealing jokes from Twitter


Security: Animals aren't allowed in this art gallery, sir.
Me: It's my guide dog.
Dog: Picasso, born 25/10/1881, was a Spanish painter...




@stephenjmolloy

 

[srw]

The first rule of thumb club is approximate





@theclaud you are an evil woman. I'm supposed to be concentrating enough on a rehearsal to give the occasional note.

 

[srw]

Is this the one thing that twatter is good for?

 

[theclaud]

Is this the one thing that twatter is good for?

Being the definitive contemporary comic form isn't enough?